Comments on: 6 Marriage Myths Debunked

By: Marcia Naomi Berger, LCSW

Marcia Naomi Berger, LCSW — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 07:11:11 +0000

Thank you for writing about marriage myths; well done! I especially like how you identified three of the five elements that are most important for a successful marriage. What are the other two, please?

I just found your piece after I finished my chapter, “Debunking Marriage Myths,” of a book I am writing about Marriage Meetings. Link to debunking myths page http://marcianaomiberger.com/marriage-meeting-book/debunking-marriage-myths/. Please check it out; I’d appreciate your comments.

By: Another PearBudget Giveaway! | The PearBudget Blog

Another PearBudget Giveaway! | The PearBudget Blog — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 15:42:19 +0000

[...] written by a marriage and family therapist, Corey Allan. He writes about a number of things — skewering myths about marriage, giving advice on how to have incredible sex, and covering a number of other issues regarding [...]

By: Amanda vd Westhuizen

Amanda vd Westhuizen — Wed, 11 May 2011 14:58:04 +0000

Corey,
I think the last point is especially relevant. Nowadays it seems that “being happy” is what everything is about – consumerism marriages…
Thank you for a great article.

By: Meghashyam Chirravoori

Meghashyam Chirravoori — Sat, 05 Feb 2011 18:24:06 +0000

I am getting married in the next few months and so this post did get me interested right away. The point that really startled me was “Two people in a good marriage automatically grow closer with time.”

Subconsciously, I had assumed that when you get into marriage with the right intentions and when you are compatible with the other person and love her, the marriage automatically leads to a beautiful bond between the two people. But your point has sort of rung a bell in mind that says – “but make sure you keep working towards making your marriage better, make sure you keep learning because you will face challenges.”

hmm. Thank you for the practical tips.

By: honey joy

honey joy — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 10:12:19 +0000

[...thanks for the 6 marriage myths debunked...] {more power}

By: Simple Marriage - A Private Affair

Simple Marriage - A Private Affair — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 22:10:40 +0000

[...] Six Marriage Myths Debunked. [...]

By: Links for August

Links for August — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 17:01:43 +0000

[...] 6 Marriage Myths Debunked – Corey knows that marriage is hard work. [...]

By: Jeffrey Levine

Jeffrey Levine — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 22:41:03 +0000

I really enjoyed this article and how it distilled down some of the most common misconceptions. I also wanted to respond to Jen, who obviously has a real concern and challenge in her marriage. Jen, the thing is, when you say “if you loved me you wouldn’t criticize me so much” you are, unfortunately, continuing the cycle, by criticizing him. The most powerful way to handle this kind of thing is to address it when it happens by immediately saying, “Ouch, that really hurt my feelings.” Nothing more needs to be said, at that time. Let it sink in. If after a number of times, the behavior continues, then you have a different problem: that your husband doesnt care about your feelings – and that needs to be addressed, not by attacking him, but by telling him how that feels to you. I wish you all the best in resolving this challenge.
- Jeffrey

By: Lori

Lori — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 02:10:37 +0000

@ Person– I don’t instinctively want to pay taxes, work or be nice to people who aren’t nice to me. Because naturally I just want to be happy, not grow up, not go through any hard times, have everyone see everything my way and like me. Being mature, having self control, keeping my word, doing the right thing, taking personal responsibility all take work. To say just because something takes work isn’t natural and shouldn’t be done is a slippery slope I think. ‘Naturally’ in this instance could quite easily be replaced with selfish in all of these instances.

By: person

person — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 15:16:19 +0000

Nice article. I agree with all of it, and I think marriage can be wonderful. But the question I have when I read all of these books or internet postings about “how to make marriage work” is…Why should we make marriage work? I mean, if it’s so un-natural, and the majority of people simple don’t want to be with their partner after a number of years, and their is an innate excitement and desire to be with someone new, why then do we force this cultural idea of marriage upon ourselves? Is it because we’re scared to be along? Is it because we want to have children, and we want those children to have a balanced upbringing from a man and a woman? Both seem to be reasonable. Maybe we need a new societal system that doesn’t require us to live, breed, and die with the same person. Honestly, I have no idea.