A Bit More Honesty Experiment
Photo courtesy Torley
Care to join me in a little experiment?
As you go throughout your day, how many times are you greeted with the question “how’s it going” (or some variation of it)? It’s a common beginning to social exchanges. And in these exchanges, how many times do you respond honestly? If you’re like most people, a simple “fine” or “busy” encapsulates your response. And while fine or busy may indeed be true, is it really how you’re feeling at the time?
I propose an experiment of honesty.
When asked how you’re doing, honestly answer.
“How are you doing?”
“Bored out of my mind.” Or “not too well, I just found out my cat only has 6 lives left.”
Anything but “fine,” “busy,” or “great.”
Now I’m not suggesting that the filter between your brain and your mouth be turned off completely, yet. But it does need to be lowered. If we go through the day only exchanging niceties, have we really connected with anyone?
I’m not expecting this experiment to be easy, nor do I expect that I’ll give up all the niceties in my social exchanges. But I do want to be more honest. Especially with good friends, and my spouse.
Maybe through this experiment I can get closer to those around me. And isn’t that worth it in the end?
Who’s in?
Corey is the editor of Simple Marriage as well as a licensed marriage & family therapist. While he has a Ph.D. in Family Therapy, he only occasionally likes to be called doctor. If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe so you don't miss any future posts.8 Responses to “A Bit More Honesty Experiment”
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[...] you’ll consider subscribing viaRSS feed or email. Thanks for visiting! CoreyLast week I proposed an experiment of honesty. The premise is that when asked “How’s it going?” to answer more honestly; [...]
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[...] torno ad uno dei miei post seri, ispirato un post sul blog The Simple Marriage Project, intitolato Un po’ di onestà in più: un esperimento e Un po’ di onestà in più 2.0. L’autore (in breve) si chiede: quante volte al giorno [...]
Corey,
How you doing today?
I’m a bit anxious.
If I found out my cat had six lives left, I would be depressed. Cats? EEK!
@Laurie- I’m fine. Wait, that’s a lie. I’m busy. Oh, another lie. Man, how am I? I guess I’ve been a bit lost in thoughts lately. Lots of paths for life and business to explore.
At the risk of offending the cat people, who cares how many lives they have left. I choose dogs!
6 lives??? Good heavens!! And I thought that crap about ’9 lives’ was a myth!
Okay, I’m in, but I would like to propose a little twist. When I’ve answered honestly to people in the past when they’ve inquired, most times they truly don’t want to know. It is just intended in our culture to be greeting or exchange of pleasantries. How about this to connect with other more genuinely: ask others how they are doing and really ask like you want to know. And then to listen genuinely. This for me is a greater challenge.
@B. Wilde- I completely agree. I’ve found it more difficult to not begin the pleasantry exchange with the same phrases. I found the head nod works well if I have nothing pointed to ask. Thanks for adding this to the experiment.
I’m in!- you’re the first one i’ve found on a website who kept it simple yet got straight to the point, it’s nothing cynical, it’s good to know that there are people out there who think of things sort of in the same that i do. – i get told a lot that i’m crazy and so on.
hope your day is getting better, and may i ask, how are you? lol:)- V