Several months ago I came across Tim Brownson’s work, A Daring Adventure. Since then, I’m a regular visitor. One reason is due to his humor and outlook on life, the other is to possibly steal some of his ideas (the marriage coaching experiment idea came from him).
I also got his book Don’t Ask Stupid Questions, it’s totally worth it. He offers some great ideas and advice for handling many of life’s situations. It practical, funny, and real. Check it out.
Now off to Tim’s take on a simple marriage.
I got married relatively late compared to a lot of people because I was 33 at the time. I remember prior to the day being told over and over that marriage was a question of give and take and compromise. I didn’t get that and quite honestly thought it was flat out wrong.
Surely if you’re marrying your best friend and soul mate compromise should be unnecessary and married life should move from one blissful event to another in a series of cinematic happy endings.
Within about 24 hours I realized not only was I wrong, but horribly wrong to boot. Do we open the wedding presents before or after the honeymoon? After seemed sensible to me as we only had a day to spare before and there was lots to do. Before thought my wife because she was super excited and didn’t want to wait to see what goodies we had been given.
Thus started 12 years (and hopefully many more) of compromise. To say I was naïve would be akin to saying Anchorage is quite cold. If naivety had been an Olympic event I would have been nailed on for the gold.
Looking back now I’m not at all sure what planet I was on. Having said that I’m glad I was so wide of the mark otherwise I may never have got married.
The simplification of marriage needs compromise and lots of it. If you are going to dogmatically stick to your guns with every major and even minor decision you’re going to be in for a rocky ride. However, if you can park your desire to get your own way all the time at the door, you’ll more than likely have a great marriage.
Hey Corey, It’s great to see you featuring Tim. I have read his blog for a while. It is always funny and full of good wisdom. I love his book too. I told Tim about you a few weeks ago(even if he deleted my comment) ;O) and If I remember right, I think I told you about Tim’s blog! I feel like I should be trying out for the match maker on the next performance of Fiddler on the Roof.
Tim, good comment on compromise. I can’t believe you didn’t know marriage would be so full of compromise. You must have been a bit more conservative in those days. he he he!
Was nice to find this great article on 9rules.
The “compromise” advice my wife and I were given just before getting married was: “Marriage is a little give & take, sometimes there’s a little more give than take, and other times, there’s more take than give”.
Her granny told us this
Well said. My mom always say me that marriage is alwaya a give and take policy. And when you give something, you always get more in return. But one should not always expect some returns for giving when you truely love someone. And the more love you spread more the world arround you will be beautiful.