Comments on: Allowing Your Child to Grow Up http://www.simplemarriage.net/allowing-your-child-to-grow-up.html Keep it simple. Make it better. Tue, 07 Feb 2012 21:01:29 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: 6 Ways to Improve Your Relationship With Your Teenager | CSShride http://www.simplemarriage.net/allowing-your-child-to-grow-up.html#comment-14709 6 Ways to Improve Your Relationship With Your Teenager | CSShride Tue, 08 Nov 2011 19:31:32 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=6680#comment-14709 [...] Allowing Your Child to Grow Up How to Really Listen to Someone The Five Love Languages Authentic Relationship Parenting Tweens & Teens [...] [...] Allowing Your Child to Grow Up How to Really Listen to Someone The Five Love Languages Authentic Relationship Parenting Tweens & Teens [...]

]]> By: TCOY Lessons From My Favorite Bloggers (Jul10) | Personal Care http://www.simplemarriage.net/allowing-your-child-to-grow-up.html#comment-8300 TCOY Lessons From My Favorite Bloggers (Jul10) | Personal Care Fri, 30 Jul 2010 12:15:27 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=6680#comment-8300 [...] & Family from Simple Marriage: Simple Marriage columnist Susan Heid says that Allowing Your Child to Grow Up involves allowing problem solving and allowing the wrong choice because “ultimately we all [...] [...] & Family from Simple Marriage: Simple Marriage columnist Susan Heid says that Allowing Your Child to Grow Up involves allowing problem solving and allowing the wrong choice because “ultimately we all [...]

]]> By: Susan http://www.simplemarriage.net/allowing-your-child-to-grow-up.html#comment-8208 Susan Wed, 21 Jul 2010 15:18:34 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=6680#comment-8208 Yes, delayed response is great! They seem so impatient that they would rather take care of it and move on than wait - hummm, sounds like someone else I know! :-) Yes, delayed response is great! They seem so impatient that they would rather take care of it and move on than wait – hummm, sounds like someone else I know! :-)

]]> By: Melissa Gorzelanczyk http://www.simplemarriage.net/allowing-your-child-to-grow-up.html#comment-8207 Melissa Gorzelanczyk Wed, 21 Jul 2010 14:48:15 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=6680#comment-8207 This is a great reminder to parents, Susan. I think it's actually easier for us to do things for kids - then we know it gets done "right" and won't have to hear any complaints to fix the problem after the fact. Something else that helps kids solve there own problems is a delayed response. When they ask you to help with something or solve a problem for them, you can say, "Sure, but I have to do this first," and go back to what you were doing in the first place. After a few minutes, they usually get sick of waiting and figure it out on their own. This is a great reminder to parents, Susan. I think it’s actually easier for us to do things for kids – then we know it gets done “right” and won’t have to hear any complaints to fix the problem after the fact.

Something else that helps kids solve there own problems is a delayed response. When they ask you to help with something or solve a problem for them, you can say, “Sure, but I have to do this first,” and go back to what you were doing in the first place. After a few minutes, they usually get sick of waiting and figure it out on their own.

]]> By: Just Plain Joy http://www.simplemarriage.net/allowing-your-child-to-grow-up.html#comment-8205 Just Plain Joy Wed, 21 Jul 2010 02:38:32 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=6680#comment-8205 I'm a big fan of Love and Logic. I love the teachable moments! Especially when I'm well rested and prepared! I’m a big fan of Love and Logic. I love the teachable moments! Especially when I’m well rested and prepared!

]]> By: Susan http://www.simplemarriage.net/allowing-your-child-to-grow-up.html#comment-8203 Susan Tue, 20 Jul 2010 22:33:17 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=6680#comment-8203 Beth, my favorite easy approach is to just start getting them thinking. When they come to you and ask a question rather than just answering, throw the question back at them and see what they come up with. I think this fosters a feeling that they can do it on their own, rather than always having to come to an adult. Encouraging them as they do little jobs for you around the house is another fun one, even if they are only with you for a short time. You just never know how those times will rub off on them. Beth, my favorite easy approach is to just start getting them thinking. When they come to you and ask a question rather than just answering, throw the question back at them and see what they come up with. I think this fosters a feeling that they can do it on their own, rather than always having to come to an adult. Encouraging them as they do little jobs for you around the house is another fun one, even if they are only with you for a short time. You just never know how those times will rub off on them.

]]> By: Beth LaMie http://www.simplemarriage.net/allowing-your-child-to-grow-up.html#comment-8202 Beth LaMie Tue, 20 Jul 2010 22:18:11 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=6680#comment-8202 Susan, Great article. I see some of the same situations with my grandchildren, ages 5 & 6. I do seem to sometimes butt heads with my son & daughter-in-law over how to teach the kids responsibility. Usually, I only see them a few times a year and then for just a couple of days, so that is not enough time to make much of an impression. Any ideas on how to encourage them to make choices? Susan,
Great article. I see some of the same situations with my grandchildren, ages 5 & 6. I do seem to sometimes butt heads with my son & daughter-in-law over how to teach the kids responsibility. Usually, I only see them a few times a year and then for just a couple of days, so that is not enough time to make much of an impression. Any ideas on how to encourage them to make choices?

]]> By: Judy http://www.simplemarriage.net/allowing-your-child-to-grow-up.html#comment-8196 Judy Tue, 20 Jul 2010 15:55:01 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=6680#comment-8196 Susan, I whole-heartedly agree with your post. As parents of 9 and 11 year-old boys, we try to incorporate the very essence of your writing. What I have found though, is that the personality of the child does influence how much "lee-way" you can give. Our more serious 11 year old will follow through on what he says and will learn from the consequences. Our happy-go-lucky 9 year old will not. We still have to "watch him" brush his teeth! A bit frustrating at times, but who said parenting was easy! Susan,

I whole-heartedly agree with your post. As parents of 9 and 11 year-old boys, we try to incorporate the very essence of your writing. What I have found though, is that the personality of the child does influence how much “lee-way” you can give. Our more serious 11 year old will follow through on what he says and will learn from the consequences. Our happy-go-lucky 9 year old will not. We still have to “watch him” brush his teeth! A bit frustrating at times, but who said parenting was easy!

]]> By: Susan http://www.simplemarriage.net/allowing-your-child-to-grow-up.html#comment-8195 Susan Tue, 20 Jul 2010 15:38:54 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=6680#comment-8195 Thank you for all the nice comments and that everyone is pretty much in agreement! It is great! To know that you are providing a space for your children to truly "learn" is what parenting is about and I love it when parents take their role seriously. Thank you to everyone! Thank you for all the nice comments and that everyone is pretty much in agreement! It is great! To know that you are providing a space for your children to truly “learn” is what parenting is about and I love it when parents take their role seriously. Thank you to everyone!

]]> By: Anastasiya http://www.simplemarriage.net/allowing-your-child-to-grow-up.html#comment-8194 Anastasiya Tue, 20 Jul 2010 15:32:55 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=6680#comment-8194 Susan, thank you for this article. I have two toddlers who are still not ready to grow up yet but I can definitely see myself using your advice in the future. I know that when I was growing up my mom used the same principles with me and I am very grateful to her for allowing me to make my own mistakes and learn to make choices for myself. I understand how difficult it is for a parent to do that but I also see how important it is for a child. Susan,
thank you for this article. I have two toddlers who are still not ready to grow up yet but I can definitely see myself using your advice in the future. I know that when I was growing up my mom used the same principles with me and I am very grateful to her for allowing me to make my own mistakes and learn to make choices for myself. I understand how difficult it is for a parent to do that but I also see how important it is for a child.

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