Comments on: Are you guilty of these marriage mistakes?

By: Courtney

Courtney — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 06:14:26 +0000

I agree with Suzanne. I think that if someone really does have a bad outlook on life whether it’s mental or just a chronic case of the dull drums, then they should seek some kind of counseling, and so should the person that’s with them, especially if they’re in their right mind.

By: Courtney

Courtney — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 06:01:37 +0000

I agree with Corey. When there’s some type of problem and I have to listen to 30 minutes of yada yada, all it really does is disconnect me with my wife. A simple “you forgot to take out the trash” would have sufficed because while the yada yada is being told, all I can really think of is “hurry up and get to the point please.”

I like things to be short and sweet so that we can move on.

Love your site Corey!

By: Lisa

Lisa — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 20:25:32 +0000

Great list, and I might ad one.
Talking badly about your spouse. I really believe it’s corrosive in a relationship. I’d like to share an article on that topic.

http://escapefromrelationshiphell.com/the-husband-bashing-infection.php

Thank you again for sharing your wisdom. I love your blog!

By: Olinem

Olinem — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 20:37:04 +0000

So Jessie, are you saying that even friendships with inappropriate boundaries should not trouble your spouse? Thus, a friend trying to steal a flirtatious kiss with your wife or husband is supposed to be respected? I have to disagree with that. Inappropriate is exactly that: inappropriate. In a trust-based relationship, any friendship that reflects _appropriate_ boundaries should be respected and not cause any problems. Where people are not in clear agreement about rules and boundaries, Crystal is right: there will be problems.

By: Hilde

Hilde — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 19:31:48 +0000

I actually agree with L somewhat – to me, a marriage is an equal partnership. My husband and I are a team, and we basically take turns leading that team (I’m better at finance, so I make those decisions, he’s better at other things, so I let him decide things in his fields of expertise. And we negotiate about how we raise our son, of course.)

At the same time, I have to say the greatest advice I ever got on marriage was: PICK YOUR BATTLES! (This from a woman who has been happily married for over 40 years). I have a tendency to try to be “right” but I’ve learnt to let it go whenever it means more to my husband than it does to me. Even if in my heart I feel like I’m “right,” I’d still rather be happy than right….

There are lots of things we still work on, but the main thing for us is: we’re a team, and we have each other’s backs.

By: Hilde

Hilde — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 19:22:13 +0000

@ctreit: the last bit of your comment tells me that at the very least, you still have a sense of humor about these differences! To me, that’s a sign of a good marriage, too.

By: Weekend Links « Busy@Home

Weekend Links « Busy@Home — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 13:03:12 +0000

[...] Are You Guilty of These Marriage Mistakes? {@ simple marriage} [...]

By: Jessie

Jessie — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 14:41:49 +0000

I have to disagree with this. If a relationship is based on trust, any friendship (with a male or female) should be respected and not cause any problems.

By: K

Tue, 10 Aug 2010 04:55:57 +0000

I’d be oh so very careful with the idea of taking complaints about your spouse to their parents. It could be they repeat your complaints to your spouse, using your words against you, or against your spouse. All depending on what their family dynamic is. Or, it could simply stress them. My mum-in-law would be terribly bothered if I burdened her with issues her son and I might be having.

Obviously, this advice is working for you, but folks should be careful to observe how the sharing of small issues works out before risking it on larger issues.

By: Bast Fenstalker

Bast Fenstalker — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 12:07:25 +0000

Dwelling on the Past.
Don’t bring up the small thing your partner did last week, or last month.
If it was such a problem, why didn’t you raise the issue at the time?
Treat relationship problems the way you would the kids. If it’s not corrected at the time, then it’s not going to be fixed at a later date either.