Are YOU on Your To-Do List?
Scene: You are sitting in the plane getting ready for takeoff and watching with amusement as the flight attendant shares with you the safety features of the Boeing 747 you are flying on. You get past the seat-belt demo, the tray table being upright, the emergency lights leading to the exits and then the big revelation comes as they share with you that if the plane should lose cabin pressure that you should “put your own oxygen mask on first” before helping others.” WOW! Incredible information, that after thinking about it makes perfect sense, how on earth can you help someone else if you are out of breath?
Scene: It is a normal weekday, you have been up since 6:30 AM (which unfortunately was only 5 minutes before the rest of your gang got up) made everyone breakfast, snuck in a cup of coffee, made lunches, drove car pool, fed the baby, picked up groceries, dropped off dry cleaning, grabbed a coke for lunch (you needed the caffeine pick me up) mopped the floor and cleaned the bathrooms while the baby napped, ran car pool again, fed the kids snack, broke up an argument, worked on homework, tried to get dinner started and you find you are losing your patience. Sound familiar? Do you feel like you are out of breath? Running on empty?
For years women have been fed a bunch of lies making us feel like we need to be sacrificing ourselves for the sake of our families. In fact, if we are not sacrificing ourselves, then we are selfish! I can tell you – if you are sacrificing yourself for your family, both you and your family will end up losing. You can’t help anyone if you are out of breath! Seems common sense, huh? But why do we moms have such a terrible time putting this concept into action?
I have a few ideas, one of the biggest being this idea that the term ‘self-care’ needs to be some grandiose, time consuming venture. But I think we have it all wrong. In order to be taking care of yourself in a way that is manageable, we moms need to find things that refresh us in small amounts of time too. It is not all about spending a day at the spa, (although very nice on occasion) the practicality of that is pretty slim that it can happen as often as we would like.
I would like you to take a look at ‘self-care’ from different perspective. Try figuring out what refreshes and refuels you in small time frames. Identify what re-energizes you and carve out time to make it happen, however that looks for you and your day.
Several years ago I started lists on note cards that I kept handy so that I wouldn’t have to think so hard on how to fit this into my day. I broke them down into 5, 15, 30 and even 60 minute time frames. This made it much easier to schedule these “breathers” throughout my day or if I had a spare 5 minutes that I could easily take advantage of that time for myself, rather than letting it slip by.
I encourage you to try it out. You may be surprised at how easy it can be to fit in things that lift you up and help you be better for yourself AND your family.
To get you started creating self-care habits, I have offered up some of my favorite ideas.
- 5 minutes
Make a cup tea
Light a candle in the area you are working
Sit quietly with your eyes closed
Lay down on the sofa
Play a favorite song on your IPOD
Read an encouraging verse
- 15 minutes
Walk around the block
Call a friend
Savor a nice long shower
Journal
Take a book break
- 30 minutes
Do an exercise DVD
Cut some fresh flowers and arrange them
Take a bath
Sit and read a book with your child
Do some stretching and deep breathing
Get out and walk the dog
If you need to schedule time in your day to make sure you fit some of these in, then do it. It will not happen by chance, you will need to be intentional and proactive to carve out the time needed to take a little time for you. I know if I put something on my ‘to-do’ list I have a much better chance of it happening. So, starting today…..put “YOU” on your ‘to-do’ list and make it happen. Your family will thank you for it!
(photo courtesy)
Susan also writes at The Confident Mom - Reviving the Art of Home & Family Management with practical tools so you can re-energize your role as a mom & develop your God-given potential! She is a proud mother of 3 awesome kids – ages 17, 13 and 9, married to her very own prince charming. She loves coffee, cloudy days, and does think the “bluest skies you’ve ever seen are in Seattle.” Read her full bio here.6 Responses to “Are YOU on Your To-Do List?”
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Thank you for writing about this, Susan. My kids used to give me a guilt trip when I would do things for myself – dinner with a girlfriend, a weekend getaway with Mr. Right, a spa treatment for myself. I always told them, “This makes me a better step mom. Love you!”
Yeah, it is amazing what “guilt” our kids can end up dumping on us!! But I bet they see a difference in you when you come back from getting a little time for you! Thanks for the comment – you always have nice things to say.
A friend directed me here. I think she is trying to tell me something
But you know? After reading this, I don’t feel too bad. yes, I am busy, but much of that business involves things I enjoy; kid’s ministry, watching my own daughter play sport, going to the gym together, even blogging….The thing I have ‘let go’ is the house/garden. In the end, I am the only one who notices and if we have visitors I do a whirlwind ‘cover-up’. I may be busy but I feel like the emphasis is right nowadays. Thanks for the chance to self-reflect!
Susan, good reminders. I’ve been hearing many say (and I agree to some extent) that love means sacrificicing. Yes, love is sacrificial, but I think that can be misconstrued to mean continue to sacrifice until you have nothing left. Instead, we moms need to preserve some positive energy during our hectic days and understand we are helping our families in the process. Best to you!
Lori Lowe
http://www.LifeGems4Marriage.com
Well, you have a really nice friend if she was kind enough to give you a gentle nudge! Sometimes we just don’t see ourselves being run dry…..in fact, even me, after writing that post last week was “nudged” by my husband over the weekend that I needed some “me” time – he was concerned I was spending too much time at the computer, on the phone and doing “mom” stuff. Isn’t it nice when you have someone in your life who can see even when we don’t see – or we seem to think there is no other way to “get it all done”. I do like to stop and just evaluate what is truly important to get done; often I ask myself if in 6 months “this thing”, will it really matter or will this be something that God will ask me about when I get to heaven? Sometimes that is the indication to me that I am filling my days with things that are not truly important to what I most desire for me and my family.
Hope you find some time to put yourself on your ‘to-do’ list today, I know I am going to!! Blessings to you and your family
Hi Lori,
Yes, moms have been led to believe that we do need to sacrifice “ALL” to be a good mom. You are right, moms to sacrifice in order to serve our families, but we still count and need to make sure we are paying attention to what we need to keep ourselves in tip top shape to serve!! Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment and share your perspective, appreciate it! Have a great day and catch a few minutes for yourself