Ask The Readers: Favorite Books On Life And Marriage
Photo courtesy astrycula
For most of my life I dreaded reading. Back then, reading was associated with sleep, since whenever I read I would fall asleep. However, for the past 5 years or so, reading has become something I really enjoy. My enjoyment of reading came out of necessity while in grad school. Where I was forced to read a lot of books in order to learn the material.
Now, I have a system I follow. It’s fairly simple. It consists of having 5 books stacked on my nightstand and picking one of the 5 whenever I get a chance to read. This means I may switch books each night, depending on my mood or interests at the time. If however, the book is really enjoyable or interesting, I will read through until it is complete. But enough about my system.
This week’s ask the readers is intended to help each of us expand our reading lists.
What are the books you’ve read or are currently reading that have impacted you and/or your marriage the most?
In a few weeks I will go through all the comments and compile a list of all our reader’s favorites and share them in a future post.
I’ll kick off this ask the readers with my own favorites:
- Blue Like Jazz, by Donald Miller. The tag line for this book is “nonreligious thoughts on Christian spirituality.”
- Wild At Heart, by John Eldredge. Seeking to restore the masculine heart.
- Passionate Marriage, by David Schnarch. Uncovering the keys to passion in life and marriage. A bit heavy but a book that changed my wife and I’s marriage.
- The Shack, by William Young. A fictional look at the relationship between the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. A great read.
- The Greatest Generation, by Tom Brokaw. A look at the WW2 generation.
There’s a few of my favorites. How about yours?
Corey is the editor of Simple Marriage as well as a licensed marriage & family therapist. While he has a Ph.D. in Family Therapy, he only occasionally likes to be called doctor. If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe so you don't miss any future posts.15 Responses to “Ask The Readers: Favorite Books On Life And Marriage”
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Have you ever read any of the Belgariad? It’s a series of Fantasy novels by David Eddings. Anyway, the marriage between Polgara and Durnik was one that I always really admires, especially since she was a ‘strong woman’.
What are the books you’ve read or are currently reading that have impacted you and/or your marriage the most?
For Men Only/For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhan
Sheet Music by Kevin Leman
His Needs Her Needs by Willard Harley
Intimacy Ignited by Pintus and Dillow
Captivating by John and Stacy Eldredge
Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
Ok you all have beat me to some of the ones I would have listed so I say ditto to your lists and will add:
Sacred Sex by Tim Alan Gardner
Hiding from Love by John Townsend
Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs
Dance of Intimacy by Harriet Lerner
both Sacred Romance and Waking the Dead by John Eldredge
Oh and I forgot the ebook by that guy uhhh hmmm, what was his name?? Oh yes, It was Corey Allan and the book was the Simple Marriage Matrix
It’s not a book on marriage per se, but a great book on life and relationships is Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom.
When my wife and I were working through some issues a while back, we found Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages” was one book we kept coming back to again and again. Not that we really felt that every marriage fits neatly into Chapman’s five little boxes, but rather that both partners need very different things from a marriage, and communicate that in very different ways.
following in Hayden’s footsteps, I really loved the fantasy series, the Sword of Truth. If you are familiar with Ayn Rand’s essays, Richard Cypher, the main character, is the model of an ideal man.
The Path to Love, by Deepak Chopra…a great book on the spiritual side of marriage.
For me definitely is The Bible. Also 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey has been helpful.
Many blessings to all,
Art Gonzalez
Check my Squidoo Lens at: Quantum Knights
@Art- Thanks for adding the Bible. I have that on my list as well.
“The Mystery of Marriage” by Mike Mason.
I read it just before getting married and my thoughts were something like, “Wow – marriage is going to be so hard … and I can’t wait to get started!”
It was both realistic and encouraging at the same time.
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is a must read for engaged couples or newlyweds, in my opinion.
I’ll add one book to the list, “Jesus Creed” by Scot McKnight.
On the flip side, I’ll speak out against “Wild at Heart”. I find much of the book significantly over the top. I’ve seen people take the premises from the book and apply them to parenting for terrible results.
1. The Bible
2. Key to Yourself by Venice Bloodworth
3. The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren
4. Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendricks
5. Created To Be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl (certain parts I loved, some I hated, but the good parts were very helpful)
6. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle (agreed & disagreed with some parts, but what I agreed with and learned made it worth the read)
Great idea for sharing – I look forward to checking out the books!
Here are some of the books that have had a big impact on my thinking (and therefore on my marriage as well!)
A Year By The Sea by Joan Anderson – her own story of reaching midlife, finding herself unhappy with her marriage, lost without the all-consuming job of looking after kids and wondering what happened to the person she used to be (the joy, the passion). It’s a story of RE-discovering marriage.
Anything by Terrence Real:
How Do I Get Through To You – talks about the personal and societal beliefs that get in our way in relationships.
I Don’t Want To Talk About It – actually about the legacy of male depression, but I got some real insights that help me understand some of our patterns.
The New Rules of Marriage – very empowering and give really practical ways of turning adversarial into collaborative, being clear about your needs, finding ways to help each other be your individual bests, etc…
Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn – although a parenting book, this one has helped me understand my own reactions and patterns so that I can stop judging myself – and therefore I’ve been able to be more present in my marriage and stop judging him too…