Comments on: Ask The Readers: Is It OK For Children To Sleep With Their Parents? http://www.simplemarriage.net/ask-the-readers-is-it-ok-for-children-to-sleep-with-their-parents.html Keep it simple. Make it better. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 03:57:58 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: andrea http://www.simplemarriage.net/ask-the-readers-is-it-ok-for-children-to-sleep-with-their-parents.html#comment-3028 andrea Thu, 26 Mar 2009 16:44:06 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=534#comment-3028 I let our 1 year old come into our bed if she wakes up in the middle of the night. I have to be up at 6 am for work, and rather than be up all night trying to get her back into her crib, i choose to let her lay with us so i can get atleast a few hours of sleep. the dog takes up most of the bed anyway, why not let the baby join in. I let our 1 year old come into our bed if she wakes up in the middle of the night. I have to be up at 6 am for work, and rather than be up all night trying to get her back into her crib, i choose to let her lay with us so i can get atleast a few hours of sleep. the dog takes up most of the bed anyway, why not let the baby join in.

]]> By: B.Wilde http://www.simplemarriage.net/ask-the-readers-is-it-ok-for-children-to-sleep-with-their-parents.html#comment-1600 B.Wilde Thu, 25 Sep 2008 20:34:27 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=534#comment-1600 Before we had children, and I had all the answers, there was no way that any of our children were going to sleep in our bed. Well...our first was the most difficult of the four children that followed. Her health was such that when it came down to having her in our bed or not getting sleep, we chose the sleep. And there she was between us. We did what we had to in order to function. We really were that desperate. All I can say is, as long as they get out of your bed before they start driving a car, I guess it's okay. Actually, I don't have a hard and fast rule anymore. Parenting has taught me to be more comfortable with the ambiguous and address each child and each situation according to the needs. Sure, needs may differ between families, but who's to say what is right and wrong unless you have parented in their shoes with their children. Every parent, every child and every situation is unique and there is less frustration for me as a parent when I don't try to put myself or my kids into some societal box. Excellent question. Before we had children, and I had all the answers, there was no way that any of our children were going to sleep in our bed. Well…our first was the most difficult of the four children that followed. Her health was such that when it came down to having her in our bed or not getting sleep, we chose the sleep. And there she was between us. We did what we had to in order to function. We really were that desperate. All I can say is, as long as they get out of your bed before they start driving a car, I guess it’s okay.

Actually, I don’t have a hard and fast rule anymore. Parenting has taught me to be more comfortable with the ambiguous and address each child and each situation according to the needs. Sure, needs may differ between families, but who’s to say what is right and wrong unless you have parented in their shoes with their children. Every parent, every child and every situation is unique and there is less frustration for me as a parent when I don’t try to put myself or my kids into some societal box. Excellent question.

]]> By: Fern http://www.simplemarriage.net/ask-the-readers-is-it-ok-for-children-to-sleep-with-their-parents.html#comment-1581 Fern Tue, 23 Sep 2008 04:49:10 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=534#comment-1581 Corey - sorry I mixed your name up with a commenter's in a previous comment. Co-sleeping is rooted in certain cultures and although I am quite westernized in some ways, I remain faithful to some old traditions, hence not having any hang ups about sharing a bed with my children. My parents did that with us (hardly out of necessity in a 5 bedroom house) and I continue to do it in our own home. The bond between myself and my brother with our parents(who occasionally still bounces into my parents' bedroom at 20!) is incredible. I see how this can affect some couple's intimacy though, so definitely agree with you not everyone can hack sleeping like this. Corey – sorry I mixed your name up with a commenter’s in a previous comment.

Co-sleeping is rooted in certain cultures and although I am quite westernized in some ways, I remain faithful to some old traditions, hence not having any hang ups about sharing a bed with my children. My parents did that with us (hardly out of necessity in a 5 bedroom house) and I continue to do it in our own home. The bond between myself and my brother with our parents(who occasionally still bounces into my parents’ bedroom at 20!) is incredible.

I see how this can affect some couple’s intimacy though, so definitely agree with you not everyone can hack sleeping like this.

]]> By: Kip de Moll http://www.simplemarriage.net/ask-the-readers-is-it-ok-for-children-to-sleep-with-their-parents.html#comment-1579 Kip de Moll Mon, 22 Sep 2008 13:14:13 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=534#comment-1579 I'm agreed with Laurie, but have had a fairly loose arrangements with 4 different kids and 2 wives. There has been no hard and fast rule, no set amount of time, for visits, transitions or overnights. One bedroom had no door and didn't need one, the other probably could have/should have been used more often. The process evolved as their needs changed. As a kid who well remembers the comfort of wandering in to sleep with my mother for a little some nights, then wandering bravely back in the dark, I would say there should always be room to snuggle. And even now, I love to wander in the dark night and peek in on the snores of my teenage boy. I’m agreed with Laurie, but have had a fairly loose arrangements with 4 different kids and 2 wives. There has been no hard and fast rule, no set amount of time, for visits, transitions or overnights. One bedroom had no door and didn’t need one, the other probably could have/should have been used more often. The process evolved as their needs changed.

As a kid who well remembers the comfort of wandering in to sleep with my mother for a little some nights, then wandering bravely back in the dark, I would say there should always be room to snuggle. And even now, I love to wander in the dark night and peek in on the snores of my teenage boy.

]]> By: DaveM http://www.simplemarriage.net/ask-the-readers-is-it-ok-for-children-to-sleep-with-their-parents.html#comment-1578 DaveM Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:28:38 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=534#comment-1578 Ooops! Proper link, below - Apologies! http://images2.fotopic.net/?iid=yl26xr&noresize=1&nostamp=1&quality=70 Ooops! Proper link, below – Apologies!

http://images2.fotopic.net/?iid=yl26xr&noresize=1&nostamp=1&quality=70

]]> By: DaveM http://www.simplemarriage.net/ask-the-readers-is-it-ok-for-children-to-sleep-with-their-parents.html#comment-1577 DaveM Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:26:10 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=534#comment-1577 For those who are interested, follow the link to a pic of our co-sleeper cot so that you can get your head around the idea! http://mallon.fpic.co.uk/c916347.html For those who are interested, follow the link to a pic of our co-sleeper cot so that you can get your head around the idea!

http://mallon.fpic.co.uk/c916347.html

]]> By: Jack from eyeflare http://www.simplemarriage.net/ask-the-readers-is-it-ok-for-children-to-sleep-with-their-parents.html#comment-1571 Jack from eyeflare Sun, 21 Sep 2008 18:43:41 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=534#comment-1571 No kids yet. But as we live in a one-bed flat, it's something my wife and I have considered as we're getting ready to start trying... The baby will likely sleep in a crib next to us for the first while, but if he/she sleeps better in bed with us, that's where the baby will be! If nothing else, I think that will provide a very deep sense of security for the child. No kids yet. But as we live in a one-bed flat, it’s something my wife and I have considered as we’re getting ready to start trying… The baby will likely sleep in a crib next to us for the first while, but if he/she sleeps better in bed with us, that’s where the baby will be!

If nothing else, I think that will provide a very deep sense of security for the child.

]]> By: Laurie http://www.simplemarriage.net/ask-the-readers-is-it-ok-for-children-to-sleep-with-their-parents.html#comment-1568 Laurie Sat, 20 Sep 2008 23:17:12 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=534#comment-1568 I will no way, no how, and under no circumstances allow my two boys to sleep in bed with my hub and myself. It is just too darn bad if they want to. I don't care if they are scared, or sick or just want to snuggle. My bed is totally off limits to them. Period! Before you think I am a totally heartless, I think boys that are sixteen and nineteen years old are just too old. he he he. I will no way, no how, and under no circumstances allow my two boys to sleep in bed with my hub and myself. It is just too darn bad if they want to. I don’t care if they are scared, or sick or just want to snuggle. My bed is totally off limits to them. Period! Before you think I am a totally heartless, I think boys that are sixteen and nineteen years old are just too old. he he he.

]]> By: tasha http://www.simplemarriage.net/ask-the-readers-is-it-ok-for-children-to-sleep-with-their-parents.html#comment-1566 tasha Fri, 19 Sep 2008 16:49:01 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=534#comment-1566 of course it's okay for kids to sleep with their parents! as has been stated, it's only the 'western' cultures that split up the family to sleep. we share our bed with our 9 week old and our two year old, and i can't imagine it any other way. there are so many proven benefits to sleeping with your kids. and the transition to their own bed can happen on their own time, when they feel secure enough to do so, and gently. of course it’s okay for kids to sleep with their parents! as has been stated, it’s only the ‘western’ cultures that split up the family to sleep. we share our bed with our 9 week old and our two year old, and i can’t imagine it any other way. there are so many proven benefits to sleeping with your kids. and the transition to their own bed can happen on their own time, when they feel secure enough to do so, and gently.

]]> By: Beth http://www.simplemarriage.net/ask-the-readers-is-it-ok-for-children-to-sleep-with-their-parents.html#comment-1565 Beth Fri, 19 Sep 2008 15:49:35 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=534#comment-1565 Our boys have slept with us from day 1. My oldest is almost 3 and my youngest is 10 months. It has not affected our marriage in any way but positive. As one poster said, to think of the bed as the only place you can make love is so silly. We sneak off and go other places, and it adds such life to our sex life. We all cuddle together at night and that adds to our closeness as a family, too. I have (and still am to our youngest) breastfed the kids and it makes it so much easier than getting up and going to another room especially as newborns when they eat every hour or two. I can't imagine another way of doing it. But it works for us. For others it may not. I can say that before I had kids, I never thought I would cosleep. But after having my first son, I could not imagine putting him in another room in a crib. I think it would have been torture for me and for him, too. Our boys have slept with us from day 1. My oldest is almost 3 and my youngest is 10 months. It has not affected our marriage in any way but positive. As one poster said, to think of the bed as the only place you can make love is so silly. We sneak off and go other places, and it adds such life to our sex life. We all cuddle together at night and that adds to our closeness as a family, too. I have (and still am to our youngest) breastfed the kids and it makes it so much easier than getting up and going to another room especially as newborns when they eat every hour or two.

I can’t imagine another way of doing it. But it works for us. For others it may not. I can say that before I had kids, I never thought I would cosleep. But after having my first son, I could not imagine putting him in another room in a crib. I think it would have been torture for me and for him, too.

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