Comments on: Ask The Readers: Is Sex an Acceptable Gift for Christmas?

By: Ben

Ben — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 01:57:22 +0000

Why not? But unlike the usual gifts, you can’t return it to the store if it sucks. I was given this “gift” when I born. But now, 37 years later, I’m stuck with it and the person I’m supposed to share it with doesn’t care about it. So I’m left with this “gift” that keeps “giving” and won’t stop demanding my attention till the day I die. Great gift huh?

By: Abe

Abe — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 14:17:24 +0000

I think sex as a mutual celebration at Christmas time is a great idea. Kids in bed, tree lit up, stockings hung with care

Unless there is something going on in the household like one spouse denying the other on a regular basis then I don't think it should be a 'gift'. In the case of the denied household, then if the denying spouse were to offer this, they'd better overcome every hangup they have and really *give*.

I like the doing the dishes and the filling the gas tank analogies. In a decent marriage, sex should be happening a fair bit anyway.

By: Chris | Advice for Dads

Chris | Advice for Dads — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 22:12:36 +0000

Interesting proposal… can't say I would turn down a gift like that… but it would be nice to have a gift that can be enjoyed with the family watching…. *cough*

By: DoriLuv

DoriLuv — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 21:56:52 +0000

AH! My Hub and I were just laughing bc he got his gift early and had nothing to unwrap. We have been flirting all week saying he can unwrap me. I found a {10$} xmas cutie to wear for him complete with fur, tacky red velvet, sheer material, and garter straps.
The holidays always put him into a funk bc of his family, so we have made it our goal to be “present”, and enjoy our OWN family love. Thus, the flirting to circumvent the disorienting holiday dread! Cheers to that!
p.s. luv the blog! Keep up the good work!

By: Laurie

Laurie — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 19:40:32 +0000

While some ladies would die at the thought of receiving a new vacuum for Christmas, some might think the same with sex….but that is just some. Other ladies might really love the idea of receiving a vacuum or a fun roll in the hay stack. I think it is up to the giver and the receiver. All gifts, no matter what is given, are more valuable depending on the heart of the giver. If I called my hub into our bedroom lite with candles, soft music, and me asking him to unwrap his gift, he would love it. He loves it when I pursue him. But if I didn't want to give that gift or thought he wasn't too thrilled with receiving it, giving sex for a gift wouldn't be the best thing to do.

I believe that if a person is going to give the gift of sex, then you need to make it special in some way. A special place, decorate in a special way, include some wine or sweets of some kind, have the kiddos out of the house, include a full body message, or perhaps play a game. You are only limited by your imagination. It could be a really beautiful thing.

By: tim_reallife

tim_reallife — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 13:17:15 +0000

throughout our 33 years of marriage, offering my bride the gift of a “free-wish” has opened doors to advancing in intimacy in all sorts of ways…this has played out in our body-oneness (sexual intimacy…) and in our soul-oneness (freindship+intiamcy+becoming best-freinds…)
The bottom line is to make gift-giving (as welll as my marriage) “not about me!”

By: George Burdell

George Burdell — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 19:14:00 +0000

I do not think that sex is an appropriate Christmas gift. I do not think that lace teddies or other sexy outfits that aren't meant to worn for long are a gift for her. I think they are a gift for him. Like some of the others, I think that a romantic night on the town or candles and a bubble bath or some other romantic gesture that could lead to sex is valid. Fulfilling a fantasy could qualify, but then the sex is not the gift the fantasy is. Once you start giving "sex" then it becomes a treat or a reward and is no longer something that is freely exchanged between loving partners.

p.s. Of course I would like sex for Christmas. I would also like sex for breakfast and sex for taking the trash out and sex for cooking dinner and sex as a good night kiss

By: Corey

Corey — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 17:49:10 +0000

The whole idea of the Ask The Reader posts is simply to generate discussion.

As for my thoughts - sure sex can be a great gift for Christmas, but sex is something to be experienced all throughout the year as well - just like the end of your comment.

Sex is a language, of oneself and one's relationship. Sexual encounters with your lover are great opportunities to express love and connection with each other. And I would hope that this happens more frequently than special occasions, i.e. Christmas, birthdays, Valentines, etc.

On special occasions, have fun with the idea of sex. Something to unwrap, new to wear, or try. Special occasions could be used to try something new. Who knows what that could do for your relationship.

By: Waffles

Waffles — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 17:24:29 +0000

This would not fly with my wife… though I would love it. I think in general you need to be careful – maybe if you make it a super special event, something more than 'normal'.

By: podrzebie

podrzebie — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 16:52:31 +0000

Only if it's incredibly dirty.