Photo courtesy seanmcgrath
Building off the momentum from the last word pair, intimacy and sex, let’s continue the discussion. Based on the lively conversation between many of you, sex seemed the easier of the two to define. Intimacy is a whole other thing however.
So here you go: What’s the difference between intimacy and connection?
Once again, I am very interested in your thoughts. See you in the comments.
I think they are the same thing but at different levels of emotion. Intimacy is much more emotional, and may come with more vulnerability and expectations. Connection seems less emotional, more casual, with less expectations. For example, you can connect with friends, but you are probably not intimate with them. With a spouse you can connect, and be intimate.
I’m getting into this series, and I agree with Dan. You can feel a connection with a stranger immediately; intimacy is a deep connection that has been fostered over time.
I kinda agree with both, but I think the terms change depending on the person. Some people have different boundaries. A connection for some can be shallow like a glance, but it can also be a “spark” glance like seeing “the one”! Intimacy can be in that glance or it can only surface once a conversation begins or it becomes physical. I think the intimacy/connection/sex words change with every person. I have moments of each separately and combined with my wife. And they can all be in the form of a conversation, a look, a touch or being physical. One day a look can be more intimate than sex and one day sex can make an intimate connection. For me, it’s about intention and awareness. Am I making sincere and honest deposits in the “Love & Relationship Bank” or just catching up on lost time due to our crazy schedules and being tired?
I guess I’m saying that intent and inclusion are huge factors in each person defining these words and terms.
You know, I’m with Ariem on this one. Intimacy is about revealing oneself to another. So, for me, intimacy is paired with connection and both are on a continuum. When I feel especially connected with my hubby, I am more vulnerable and he sees more of the ‘raw me’ that others are privileged to see.
It’s a fascinating question… maybe I’ll take it up next week on my blog, too.
I see intimacy as sharing, opening yourself up and showing all, being vulnerable. Connection is when you find a bit of yourself in the person who you are intimate with. It is an understanding or agreement.
Connection is when you say, “Oh, Wow! Me too!”
I agree pretty much with what everyone has said so far. I won’t repeat everything I said about intimacy on the previous post but it’s deeper and involves taking the risk of opening yourself comepletely to another. And for the union to be complete it involves balance between physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual.
. A connection can be more specific. You can connect with someone over your taste in books, music, food, etc. When you reach out to help someone in need. Even that first spark of mutual attraction you feel when you meet someone. I think you can connect with a complete stranger without sharing intimacy. Though the connection can eventually lead to intimacy. I mean, that’s how people usually develop relationships – they meet and develop a connecton over something they share or have in common, right?
A connection to me isn’t as deep or, well…intimate
And of course connection can exist simultaneously with intimacy. In a marriage you share connection with the person you’re most intimate with. You have common history together, likes, dislikes, goals, dreams, etc.
Intimacy is opening up your soul. Getting naked emotionally, spiritually authentically. Intimacy involves vulnerability and trust between two people. Connection can happen on many levels. A lot of times, a shared experience will cause a connection between two people. If you were both involved in a traumatic experience such as a plane wreck, you might develop a connection, at least it did on LOST ;o). If two women had triplets, there is probably a connection that will form.
Sometimes a connection can happen due to the vibrations between two people who don’t really know each other. A connection can even happen between an adult and an infant with silly faces and giggles. I can also connect with my dog but I can’t be intimate with her. She just doesn’t have it in her to go there. Maybe if she didn’t have fluff for brains.
SO bottom line, connection is not the personal investment that intimacy is. It isn’t as risky, isn’t as deep and doesn’t need to involve vulnerability or trust.
Well put Laurie. That’s pretty much the direction I was heading in with my comments. Sounds like we have a connection.
I feel really connected to everyone after reading these comments because I think we’re on the same page with our thoughts and opinions on the matter of connection and intimacy. =)
I think I connect most with Laurie who intimacy is “getting naked” and involves vulnerability. Connection, on the other hand, is a deeper understanding, yet not as vulnerable.
Great question, Corey!