Why Vacations Make the Best Dates

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Post written by dates and romance columnist Sean Marshall of Family Rocketship.

I once interviewed a couple that had been married for more than 50 years. I asked them what the secret to their success was and their answer surprised me.

They said that ever since they got married, every year, they would take a weeklong vacation without each other.

Once the kids came along, the wife would take a spa vacation with her girlfriends leaving the husband/dad at home. Then it was his turn and he would usually take a fishing trip with his friends.

The couple said the time away from each other helped them appreciate each other more. They exercised the adage, “absence makes the heart grow fonder”.

Then the couple added, while they treasured their individual vacations, they loved even more the vacations they planned and took together.

Vacations Make Great Dates

Going on a date with your spouse is already fun enough. Getting out on a Friday night after a busy week feels like such a reward. Now multiply that by 3, 4, 5 times or more! That’s what a great vacation does for you and your spouse.

The ideal vacation looks different for each couple. Sometimes it’s a trip to an exotic place. Sometimes it’s a historical or genealogical tour. Sometimes it’s as simple as a visiting a new city.

For our vacations, my wife and I have found that we really love doing something where we have to be very physically active. Last summer we fulfilled a dream I’ve had for a long time by hiking an 18 mile loop in one day in the Olympic Mountains in Washington State. No kids. Just the two of us, the trail, and the amazing scenery.

Benefits of Vacations for Marriage

The benefits of taking a vacation are pretty obvious. The real secret is how taking vacations together strengthens a marriage.

One of the most obvious benefits is the quality time you spend together. In our busy world, we can get so caught up in the day-to-day that we sometimes forget our real priorities.

Another benefit is being able to experience something new together. This is especially true if visiting a place you’ve never been before. Seeing new places, experiencing different cultures, and especially sampling new food can make for some pretty incredible memories.

Closely tied to experiencing something new is being able to learn about each other. While in Paris one time, my wife learned that I had an uncharacteristically short fuse when it came to trying to understand a subway map in French! It was a learning experience for both of us and now we go into new places studying the maps together beforehand!

Another benefit is that it’s just plain fun to plan and then anticipate a vacation. Now with the internet, you can spend hours learning about all of the cool things to go and see and do before you even get there. Imagining together is almost as much fun as actually going on the vacation itself. I did say “almost”!

But We Can’t Always Go on Vacation!

Vacations are great, but what about living everyday life? It’s true that we can’t live our lives in one continual vacation. We’ve got work, school, kids, and so forth that take up most of our time. Plus going on constant vacations can add up.

However, you can still receive all of the same benefits of a vacation with a couple of creative tricks. For starters, try taking a mini-vacation. Not every vacation has to be a two week trip though the Andes.

You can take a short road trip somewhere – even if it’s just for a Saturday. Get away from the house and explore someplace new. Sometimes, the coolest places are just outside our “daily living radius”.

Another idea is to spend the day at a spa. If that doesn’t do it for you, try something more adventurous like going paintballing or skydiving.

Sometimes the best way to do this is to skip a day of work. If you have kids, make the proper arrangements and go for it. Nothing helps you enjoy each other and your mini-vacation by doing it on a Wednesday! Leave the cell phone at home. Don’t check emails. Just enjoy your quality time together.

Another idea is to have a “staycation”. You can stay at home and enjoy each other’s company. You can do a home project together (yes, you can do chores if it’s together), or you can have a movie marathon, or even better, a sex marathon. It’s just a day that’s totally devoted to being with each other.

Whether you’re traveling to the far parts of the globe or staying in your own bedroom, the benefits to taking intentional vacations with each other are huge!

What are some memorable vacations you’ve taken together?

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The Power of the Candid Compliment

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Post written by dates and romance columnist Sean Marshall of Family Rocketship.

Let’s go on a journey together.

Think back to the first time you saw your spouse. Where were you? What were you doing? Who were you with? Do you remember?

Now, think about what most impressed you about them at that moment.

Maybe she had a beautiful smile.  Maybe he had incredible blue eyes. Maybe it was her laugh. Maybe it was his dance moves.

With first impressions, it’s typically something physical that’s first appealing.

Now fast-forward just a bit to when you were dating. As you got to know your future spouse better, what impressed you? Was it her intellect? Was it his passion for the arts? Think about what really electrified you about your partner.

When dating, you’re constantly looking for the good in one another. It’s natural then, to share those observations in the form of compliments.

Maybe those compliments even came out in the form of frequent love letters, poems written just for them, or even singing telegrams.

In fact, the word “compliment” just doesn’t do justice to the lengths you took to make sure they knew you liked and admired them.

Then Comes Marriage…

After the honeymoon starts to make way for the routine of a normal life, somehow the love letters and the ballads start to decline. It’s natural.

But this is the key difference between having true romance in marriage or not.

Now, let’s think about the present. Think about your spouse. Think of all the great things he or she does. Really take time to see the things they do well.

Why Candid Compliments

I heard once that you should give your partner a sincere, genuine compliment at least once a day. It’s much easier said than done, that’s for sure.

I don’t feel it has to be every day. The last thing you want is another routine you have to follow. You don’t want giving compliments to be associated with heading off to work, taking out the garbage, and doing the dishes.

I think giving a real, meaningful compliment as often as you can is the best.

But why should we do this?

Reasons for Genuine Compliments

First, it’s all about taking the time. To give your spouse a genuine compliment, you’ve got to take the time to actually think about them. It requires you being mindful. It means slowing down from the normal routine of life and thinking about the person you’re sharing that life with.

Next, it requires looking for the good in them. Too often we get caught up in seeing all of the petty quirks that bother us about our partner. Leaving the cap off the toothpaste anyone?

By looking to share a compliment, we overlook the small things and focus on the important things.

Next, being able to give a solid compliment tells your spouse a lot of things. Obviously they hear the nice observation you just made but it goes deeper than that. It tells them you’re thinking about them. It tells them you’re focused on them. And that brings a level of satisfaction and deepens trust.

Finally and most importantly, it keeps you from taking your marriage for granted. By seeking to give a sincere compliment often, it will grow your admiration and love for each other.

Now as you go forward on your journey with your spouse, take time to remember why you love and admire them. And then tell them! Don’t keep those nice thoughts a secret!

What are your thoughts on giving compliments to your loved one?

 

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The Benefits of a Fun Date Bag

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Post written by dates and romance columnist Sean Marshall of Family Rocketship.

We all know it’s important to go on dates with our spouse. In fact, the most common counsel I’ve heard is that we should be going out at least once a week.

Often kids, time, and money all distract us from that goal but let’s say you’re living up to those “standards” and you’re going out once a week with your spouse. Sooner or later, you’re going to get to the point where the traditional dinner and movie can get somewhat mundane.

I’m not saying it’s bad. It’s not. But there’s an entire world out there that you can explore that has the potential to really give your marriage a happy jolt of excitement.

To achieve this, nothing will help you more than having what I term a “Fun Date Bag”.

What’s a Fun Date Bag?

First, you sit down with your spouse with pens and a bunch of paper. Then you cut the paper into small pieces and on each piece you jot down something that would be fun to do for a date. Don’t hold back. Let your imagination run wild and don’t set any limitations. Write down only one thing on each piece of paper.

You can choose to go over the ideas with each other if you wish or you can add some flare and keep the ideas secret. Once you’ve exhausted all of your creative thinking skills, fold the pieces of paper up and throw them into a bag. You can also use a bowl, shoebox, jar, or whatever. My wife and I use an old gift bag left over from our wedding more than 7 years ago.

Then put it somewhere ready to be pulled out on a Friday afternoon when the question comes up, “what are we going to do tonight?”

A friend of mine recently added that you can even color code the paper based on the events and time of year. For example, winter activities go on blue paper with spring activities on yellow and so forth. You can even get more specific and come up with a separate bag for Saturday trips or weekend excursions. It’s all up to you.

Why Have a Fun Date Bag?

There are a lot of reasons why having a fun date bag is good for your relationship. The most obvious benefit is that you never have to worry about coming up with an idea for date night. Just go to the bag!

Another more important benefit is that it gets you out of your dating comfort zone. Changing up what you’re doing every week gives you the opportunity to continually get to know your spouse. When you throw yourselves into a different environment, you react differently and this gives you a chance to learn about each other and grow closer.

Another benefit is that no matter what idea you put in the bag, it will be an event. If you choose to keep the ideas secret from each other, you never know what might be pulled out. It’s fun not knowing whether you should dress up for a night on the town or put your trail runners on!

The point of dating, as I understand it, is to spend time together, keep the spark of romance alive, and to grow closer as a couple. By changing up what you do on your dates, you’ll accomplish these goals.

With that said, here are some ideas you can use to throw in your own fun date bag. Keep in mind that most of these ideas are not original in any way. I’ve listed them only to help you get your own ideas flowing. Be sure to list ideas that accommodate your budget, where you live, and what time of the year it is. Please add some of your own ideas down in the comments!

  • Sign up for an adult learning class – maybe even learn a new language together
  • Have a cross-town scavenger hunt
  • Stay at home and make a special dinner together – if you have kids, take them to a babysitter
  • Get dressed up in your wedding dress and suit and go out for a night on the town pretending you were just married
  • Volunteer at a homeless shelter for the evening
  • Take a short flight somewhere on a puddle jumper
  • Do a home improvement project – not a glorious date to be sure but working together brings a sense of satisfaction
  • Write letters to soldiers overseas
  • Visit the travel section of your bookstore or library and plan your next trip
  • Play a game together – don’t be competitive!
  • Have sex in a place you never would think to normally
  • Make a fire outside and have foil dinners
  • Compile and mail care packages to areas of the world where they are needed
  • Go to a sporting event – especially if it’s something you don’t normally do
  • Visit a museum or art gallery
  • Drive through your dream neighborhood and find your dream house
  • Anonymously drop off a gift card or package to someone you know in need
  • Visit a neighboring city you’ve never been to

These are just a few ideas. Let your imagination run wild.

Having a fun date bag will definitely bring some stimulation into your dating. There’s nothing better than doing something new and exciting with your spouse. You’ll find new ways to love him or her, grow closer, and yours will be that much stronger of a marriage – something this world definitely could use.

What are some other ideas you can think of for the date bag? What are some other ways you plan your dates?

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Seeking More Romance? Help Mom with the Kids

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Post written by dates and romance columnist Sean Marshall of Family Rocketship.

*Note* This article is aimed specifically at the dads out there. The following tips, when enacted, will increase your romance with your wife.

Full-time mother, part-time mother, working mother, it doesn’t matter. Every mother needs help. Raising kids is tuff!

How many times have you settled down for the evening and gone to kiss your wife and she’s already asleep? Well, there goes any chance of physical romance.

Every day, moms go through a series of emotional roller coasters with your kids. One minute, the kids can be as cute as ever. In the next minute, one of them is screaming because the other one “invaded her space”.

Not only does a mom push through a chain of emotions every day, she also does all of the physical stuff that kids need. Lifting car seats in and out, changing clothes (and diapers), pushing shopping carts, and more.

By the end of the day, moms are tired!

Then comes the husband also wanting some attention and mom has to pull from her backup reserves and wait on him. Often times, those reserves just aren’t there.

So, dads, what can we do to help our wives and in turn, increase the romance in our marriages?

Here are 5 tips I’ve noticed really seem to do the trick:

1.       Take the kids out on dates

Moms need time alone. One of the best ways to give mom some time alone is to take the kids off her hands for a while. This also helps develop your relationship with your kids. Daddy-daughter or father-son activities are key to their development. Also, for moms, there’s nothing better than seeing their loved ones all interacting together lovingly…from a distance.

2.       Send Mom out on dates

Moms have friends too! Let mom hang out with her friends on a girl’s night out. This gives her a chance to get away from the cares of the house, the kids, and even you. In my experience, nothing helps mom feel more alive than getting out to mingle with her peers. And chances are good, that this tiny bit of time away from you will help her heart grow fond and you’ll reap the rewards when she gets home.

3.       Help them with their chores

In many homes, it’s mom that gets stuck making sure the kids do their chores. Why not offer some help? It’s important for kids to do their chores to increase their work values, and it also helps to just plain keep the house in order. You’re the dad. The home is your responsibility too. Make sure the kids are doing their part. The best way to do this is to work alongside them. Raking leaves can usually turn into an awesome leaf fight and a treasured moment.

4.       Help them with the bedtime stuff (also can be applied to morning time stuff)

Helping kids get to bed on time is a huge task. This is especially true for young kids. Rounding them up and making sure they’re getting their teeth brushed, going potty, and reading a story takes a lot of work. You can spare mom some of her highly prized energy and attention by helping with bedtime stuff. This also applies to getting started in the morning. There’s no better way to start the day than by helping out first thing in the morning

5.       Be the boss

I’ve noticed many dads these days would rather be the “fun guy” than the bad guy. As a result, they leave it up to mom to be the disciplinarian. To increase your romance with your wife, you’ve got to work alongside her and help keep the kids in check. Many times, due to sheer physical intimidation, you can be a powerful force in getting the kids to conform. Also, make sure you’re always backing up what mom says. If she tells the kids to do something, consider it your duty to be the enforcer. Moms and dads that work together, grow together.

One bonus tip – Go on dates!

How about getting away together from the kids entirely? Many marriage experts say that a weekly date is almost mandatory to a successful and healthy marriage. This includes Friday night dates and also weekend get-a-ways together.

There’s a hidden benefit in all of this – helping mom also means being a better dad. As you grow your relationship with your wife by helping with the kids more, you’re simultaneously becoming a better dad. It’s a win-win!

In the end, it’s all about giving mom more. More time, more service, more love. As you do these things, you’ll find that love will be reflected back and yours will be a joyous, happy, and romantic marriage.

What about you? What are some things you’ve done (or your husband does) to help out?

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The importance of dreaming together

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Post written by dates and romance columnist Sean Marshall of Family Rocketship.

Picture a couple in their mid-twenties on their very first date. They’re standing in line for the Splash Mountain ride at Disneyland.

If you get in a little closer, you’ll hear the guy telling the girl all about one of his most cherished dreams that he wants to accomplish in the future. He’s rambling on and on about all of the specific details of his dream. If you look at the girl, you’ll see she’s listening to every word, and somehow, deep down, wants to be part of that dream.

That couple was me and my (future) wife. Somehow, my dream resonated strongly with her. She’s told me that it was at that moment, on our very first date, that she knew there was something more to us than just a fun first date.

What Does it Mean to Dream?

I’m not referring to the dreams you have while sleeping. I’m referring the dreams that you share together as a couple. You could also call them aspirations, goals, plans, even desires.

These dreams are often shared with each other even before you get married. In many cases (like mine) it’s what helps to “woo” each other as you realize you have many common goals.

After marriage, these dreams provide the glue that keeps you working together. They give you a purpose to your everyday activities. Where you live, your job, how you spend your free time, and so forth are all determined by these dreams.

For example, let’s say you create a dream together to one day move to Hawaii and live the island life. If this is your deepest desire, then everything you do will keep you focused on that dream.

You might start looking for ways to downsize your stuff to make the move easier. You might start looking for a job or other source of income in Hawaii. You might spend time on real estate websites looking at properties on the beach. You might even trim back some of your expenses to start saving for the move.

7 Key Ways to Dream Together

  1. Become dream partners – take time to bounce ideas off of each other.
  2. Make sure they line up with your common values – this will cement in your resolve to attain them.
  3. Be supportive of each other’s dreams – no dream is too big or small, practical or absurd.
  4. Go to an inspirational place – get outside, go to a park, or even some place with a vista.
  5. Make your dream strong and vivid – it must engage you both at your core and get your emotions stirring.
  6. Write them down – put them up in a visible place where you can see them every day.
  7. Think about them daily – make sure your daily activities are in line with actually living your dream!

Dreaming together as a couple (and family) is powerful. It’s important to note that this dreaming process only works when it’s carried out through daily action. To dream is the start. To live the dream is the payoff.

In case you’re wondering, the dream I shared with my to-be wife was all about an amazing beach party still in our future. It’s evolved now to be our common dream we’re going to live 7 years from now. I’ll spare you the complete details, but it has to do with our 40th birthday party (we’re both the same age).

It involves an evening at a day’s end of playing in the ocean. Imagine a white sandy beach, warm tropical breeze, reggae music, lights on strings, and an entire party of friends and family all dancing and relaxing together. It’s something that moves us and we’ve planned our life accordingly to make it happen.

What’s one of your most powerful dreams as a couple?

What are you doing to achieve it?

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Ignite Your Romance with Old Fashioned Values

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Post written by dates and romance columnist Sean Marshall of Family Rocketship.

I love watching old movies. Particularly movies from the 30’s and 40’s.

It’s fascinating to see the interaction between the characters and how well they treated each other. During that era, even Hollywood, in all its trendiness, still managed to pump out movies highlighting good old fashioned values.

So are old fashioned values still relevant today?

Is it possible to live with 20th century morals and ideals in a 21st century world?

Do these values really play a role in increasing the romance needed in marriage?

Let’s take a look at three key “old fashioned values” and see how they might help us today.

Chivalry

Chivalry is one of the easiest to indentify as being “old fashioned”. Guys, this is a message especially for us. What would it be like if we, as men, all stood up when a lady entered the room? What would it be like if we took her coat for her? What would it be like if she never had to open a door?

I know from personal experience that most women are a little shocked at first. Then, at a deeper look, you can see that it really makes them feel special – like it’s a way they’ve always wanted to be treated.

Just before my wife and I were married, a piece of advice someone gave me that really stuck with me is, “she never touches a door handle”. Meaning, I need to always be there to hold the door, open the car, and so on. By being chivalrous, you can bring back the true meaning of the word ‘gentleman’.

Even in our busy modern lives, there’s always time for a little chivalry. In fact, it’s one of the best ways to help the ladies feel grateful to you and induce more romantic feelings for you.

Respect

Tied closely to chivalry is respect. Respecting your spouse involves treating him or her the way that makes them feel important. The highest form of respect in marriage is seeing and treating each other like royalty.

One aspect of respect is agreeing to each other’s standards and values and acting accordingly. When my wife and I were engaged, one of my friends found out we were waiting until we were married to have sex. He couldn’t believe it.

“Don’t you want to give it a trial run before you commit?” he asked. “Isn’t that a little too old-fashioned?” My response was that I wasn’t getting married just to have sex. It was (and is) so much more than that. It ultimately boiled down to respecting each other’s values more than giving it a “trial run”.

By respecting one another, your love and admiration of each other will also increase. Then, as a positive side effect, your romance will also increase.

Service

Serving one’s spouse is one of the best ways to arouse romantic feelings. What is romance except the time and care you put in to impress your spouse?

Serving your spouse manifests itself in many ways. It could be picking up a chore they aren’t very fond of. It could be doing something they really enjoy. It could be just taking the time to be involved with them, whatever that may mean at the time. The ways to serve your spouse are almost infinite. It’s just a matter of actively looking for ways to help.

It’s my experience, that as you look for ways to serve your husband or wife and actually do it consistently, that love will be reflected back and yours will be a happy marriage.

So are these values too old-fashioned?

What if we just removed the word “old-fashioned” and simply called them values?

In reality, any value that encourages a more romantic, more loving marriage is never old fashioned.

What are some values you’d like to see in your marriage?

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The Best Way to Date Your Spouse

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Post written by dates and romance columnist Sean Marshall of Family Rocketship.

Let’s pretend that you’ve got a hot date with your spouse coming up.

Let’s also pretend that you’re taking a turn planning the date and you really want to make it special. So, what’s the best possible way you can think of to make sure you have the best possible time on your date?

Do your partner’s favorite thing often.

I didn’t come up with that myself. It was wise counsel that my wife and I heard when we were first married. As the years have happily rolled on by, it still stands as the best way I know of to date and keep the romance alive.

So what does doing your partner’s favorite thing often even mean?

It’s simple!

First, think about what your spouse absolutely loves to do. Like if everything was taken care of – house, kids, job, etc. What would you find your spouse wanting to do? It could be dance, art, photography, movies, reading, sports, and so on.

Next, think about if it’s something you can do in an evening (or perhaps it’s a day date). If you can, then that’s the next step – make all of the arrangements.

For example, if your spouse has a penchant for extreme sports, perhaps you need to make plans with a skydiving company or a land luge facility. Perhaps it’s sampling a new ethnic cuisine so you’ll need to make reservations at a nice restaurant.

The next step is to decide whether or not you’re going to tell your spouse about it or not. This is up to you and how you think your partner will react. I love surprises myself. Even more so if it involves something I love doing – which is exactly the point.

Finally, make any last minute preparations for the date and enjoy the ride!

How to make it even more meaningful

One of the best ways to make this exercise in marital dating even more impactful is to figure out how they experience the world and do more of it. For example, is your spouse an audio person? Perhaps a night at the opera or a new band in a local club might be in order. Maybe he or she is a very kinesthetic kind of person. In that case, a night of dancing or some kind of sport might be best.

By learning how your spouse experiences the world, you can then tailor the date to doing exactly what they enjoy the best.

But isn’t this self-sacrificing?

About now, you’re probably thinking this is all very nice but isn’t it all a little too self-sacrificing? After all, shouldn’t you be able to enjoy your date too? What if she loves dog shows and you can’t stand them? What if all he wants to do is watch the ball game at the local sports grill?

First of all, in most cases, your partner is going to be sensitive to the fact that you’re making a strong effort to help them enjoy a date with you. This is going to carry with it, lasting implications. More love, more romance, and more appreciation for you will all be part of it.

Also, you don’t have to do something you don’t like. You’re the one that set up the date right? Do something you know he or she will enjoy and that you can enjoy also.

Another thing to consider is that your spouse is going to love what you did for them and want to return the favor. I know when I took dance lessons with my wife (her favorite thing to do), she was more inclined to put scuba gear on and get in the water with me (one of my favorite things to do).

Here’s the big kicker

This suggestion, to do your partners favorite thing often, goes both ways. As they say, marriage is not 50/50.  It’s 100/100. As you both put forth your best effort, you’ll find it will be reflected back in future dates.

One of the biggest benefits to dating with your partner’s favorite thing in mind is that you get to see your spouse in an environment they love. This increases the positive vibes of the date and you’ll come home with a stronger relationship than when you left.

What’s one of your spouses favorite things to do?

How can you make a special date out of it?

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10 Tips to Living a Mindful Marriage

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Post written by dates and romance columnist Sean Marshall of Family Rocketship.

Recently, my wife and I had some friends over to play board games. About half way through the game I realized that, while we were all having a good time, something was a little off.

Then it hit me – every single one of us had our phones in front of us! When it wasn’t our turn in the game, we were scanning Facebook, checking emails, and so forth. In other words, we weren’t really connecting with each other.

I called everyone on it and we put our phones away.

Just like a game night with friends, oftentimes our marriages get distracted as well. There are bills to pay, chores to do, meals to prepare, and more. Life is busy. But it shouldn’t get in the way of a great marriage.

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~ Barnett R. Brickner

Being the right mate involves living mindfully. It means being conscious about what’s happening in your marriage and taking charge of your own marital happiness.

Here are 10 ways you can be more mindful in your marriage.

1. Plan to have time with your spouse.
This sounds like an obvious one I know but I’ve got to list it. It’s often said to go on a date once a week with your spouse. If you have kids, this is especially important. It’s also important to find time together each day. No TV. No phones. No books. Just each other.

2. Your spouse is your priority.
Whenever your spouse requests your time, make sure you give it. Ultimately, nothing will be more important in life than your relationship with your spouse. If he or she needs your time, perhaps the company meeting or the soccer game can wait?

3. Continually learn about each other.
Take time to ask questions. Even if you’ve been married for decades, there are still things you don’t know about your spouse. Take the time to find out his or her thoughts, feelings, memories, and future goals.

4. Take time for affection.
Have you ever been guilty of going a day without kissing or hugging? It happens a lot if you’re not consciously remembering to do so. It’s important to take time throughout the day to spontaneously show affection. Yes, this does include sex but it’s not all. Affection includes simply holding hands or a back or foot massage. You can even try just looking into one another’s eyes for an indefinite amount of time. A little affection goes a long way.

5. Learn something new together.
How about learning a new language? Or perhaps you could take golf lessons? Or maybe you’d prefer to get your scuba certification? Couples who learn together, grow together.

6. Do your partners favorite thing often.
I heard this piece of advice when my wife and I were still newlyweds. With her, there’s no doubt her favorite thing to do is dancing. So I took ballroom dance lessons. It was surprisingly fun! Doing your spouse’s favorite thing means connecting directly with something that he or she values. It’s also a great way to physically show you care.

7. Share a genuine compliment.
How many times have you thought your husband or wife looked stunning but didn’t say anything? How many times did he or she do something amazing and you forgot to mention it? Take time often to actively look for the good in your spouse and tell them! The catch is that it must be genuine.

8. Say “Thank You”.
Closely related to sharing a compliment is to thank your spouse for something specific. Everyday there are things that he or she does that makes your life better in some way. Thank them for it! Even if it’s something as mundane as, “Thank you for picking up the groceries”. The little things turn into big things. A healthy side effect is a marriage full of gratitude.

9. Plan together.
When you first were married, you had big plans for your life. Are you meeting those goals? Take time together often (at least weekly) to make plans. Plan the everyday tasks and also the big things like vacations and holidays. This is also a perfect time to work on your life vision. What does it look like and how well are you doing in realizing it?

10. Service.
Enough cannot be said about the value of serving your spouse. This means the little things – getting up with the kids, preparing a meal, doing a chore you normally don’t do. If everyone simply focused on this single concept of serving their spouses and putting their needs first, there would be less divorce and more happiness in the world.

What are some ways that make your marriage more mindful?

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