There are several bloggers that I read regularly. Many of which several thousand other people follow as well. Recently I began contacting some of these bloggers seeking a contribution for The Simple Marriage Project. Whether it be a guest post, a few thoughts, or an interview with them and their spouse, I am hoping to broaden the perspectives involved in creating a Simple Marriage.
To get this series off and running, Jonathan Fields of Awake At The Wheel has graciously shared his take. Thank you Jonathan for your thoughts. Be sure to jump over and check out all his work as well as one of my favorite posts, Six Timeless Rules For My 6-Year Old Daughter.
Jonathan says:
Marriage is innately, gloriously complex, that’s one of the things that makes it so wonderful. It’s a puzzle without a solution, so rather than banging your head against the wall trying to constantly “solve” the great marriage puzzle, try stepping back, letting go of the need to strive for perfect marital-bliss and just enjoy what’s in front of you.
Everyone says the key to a great marriage is communication, but I think it goes deeper than that. You can’t have communication, great or otherwise, unless you are present. Physically and emotionally present. Not constantly off thinking about the future, reliving the past or spending vast amounts of time physically separated.
You’ve got to carve out regular time to be mutually in the moment, to give the fullest attention possible to each other. Simple? Yes. Easy? No. The act of being present is the essence of simplicity. But the logistics, thought and preparation that go into creating regular opportunities to cultivate this state are immensely challenging.
In the end, will being more present make your marriage better? Dunno. But, it will make it “realer,” and if there’s good stuff to be had, that’s where it lies.
I loved Jonathan’s site. Thanks for sharing. He has a lot out there for the new small business owner! :O)
I always say marriage is a journey, not a destination. Sometimes your journey involves incredible sunsets and perfect Margaritas on a Mexican beach and sometimes it involves barfing and having diarrhea at the same time. You have to decide if you are going to continue the journey or give up and go home.
I think when you start the marriage journey, you make the commitment to stay in the journey even when your throwing up.
Thanks for this, it was beautifully written. My husband and I read it together during a break form work. Whew we needed that!