[Note: This is a continuation of our shift posts, one and two.]

To begin, I want to send a thank you to those of you who have sent me emails and left comments in support of Simple Marriage and our goal of fundamentally changing the culture of marriage. Your support means a lot.

Second, I want to let you in on my thinking about things as we’ve progressed the past week.

The response from people has been good, but I’ve got some concern as to how good the response really is. After all, there were only 2 comments on the second post discussing the coming shift (our email list and readership is pretty big, so this number was discouraging).

But then I checked the survey we’ve been running as part of this (you know, the one where I’m willing to bribe you for your input, it’s not too late to be involved BTW) and the answers given in the surveys show we’re exactly on the right path with this shift.

I’m truly grateful for the insight and thoughtful responses given thus far in the survey. And I’ll be sending along the bribe later this week.

But, along the way we’ve encountered a huge problem that could bring this shift to a screeching halt.

The main shift in jeopardy involves the plans for relaunching Blow Up My Marriage (or this “thing” we’re creating) as a cutting edge, tremendously valuable, will bring about improvement and dramatic change to your marriage and life with ongoing support and encouragement to ensure the improvements last.

So I need your help and feedback (especially those who’ve joined our “virtual creation group”) …

What we’re talking about creating has generated some great buzz already. It even has brought about several people already contacting me about wanting to partner in the development of this “thing.” I’m honored.

But since what we’re talking about creating is something revolutionary in the marriage and family help-world, I’m hesitant to jump in with both feet too soon. I want to be sure it’s something that truly helps marriages and people. This will be more than just a class or manifesto or PDF report (if it were something this simple, I’d just release it and see what happens).

Instead, this will be something revolutionary.

Something that takes the technology of today (both online and offline) and combines it with the theory and practices of great marriages and delivers it in real time with ongoing support both online and offline. In other words, it will use all the resources available to help you create a rock solid marriage that lasts!

Does that make sense?

So right now, we’re considering slowing down the creation of this “thing” (unless we get solid validation that you think this is useful and valuable for your situation).

I just want to make sure we’re on the right track before we get too far down the road.

So here’s what I’m asking you to do.

Step 1, click here to join our “virtual creation group” and complete the survey that goes along with it (if you haven’t already).

Step 2, leave a comment below letting us know if this “thing” is something you could see using at some point in your marriage. Just a sentence letting us know what you think will be fine.

That’s it. If there’s enough positive feedback in the comments and survey, we’ll continue this shift and make this “thing.” If there isn’t, then we’ll go back to the drawing board.

~ Corey

P.S. We’re relying 100% on word of mouth. So if you know someone who could benefit from what we’re creating, please let them know about this post.

P.P.S. And again, if you think what we’re doing is cool, then please consider sharing this post on Facebook, Twitter, or G+.

[Note: This post is a follow up to my last post. Where I announced some small shifts coming down the road.]

First, I want to thank everyone who left encouraging comments in the previous post. Once again, the comments and emails I get from loyal Simple Marriage readers are payments in and of themselves.

Anyway, last time ended with a cliffhanger.

Two in fact.

So, let’s cover the second one.

Perhaps you already know about Blow Up My Marriage. But in case you haven’t heard, it’s a 16 week class that has impacted hundreds of people already in deep and lasting ways. The way this has been done is by presenting a radically different way to view marriage and relationships via an online class format.

This structure allows people to work through the class at their own pace, while giving time to fully digest and implement the material in their relationships.

On the surface this format has been successful. But it’s not enough.

I’m so confident that the concepts and ideas covered in Blow Up My Marriage can fundamentally change the culture of marriage that I don’t want to limit it to just 16 weeks. Plus, I want to offer more couples the chance to experience Blow Up My Marriage at any time, all the time.

To that end, there’s a shift coming.

BLOW UP MY MARRIAGE TAKES THE FUNDAMENTAL DYNAMICS AT PLAY IN EVERY MARRIAGE … AND GIVES YOU THE TOOLS TO USE THEM TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE GREAT

Simple Marriage’s main concept is that when you keep things simple, things get better. Our other foundational belief is that marriage is designed to help you grow up, not just make you happy.

These ideas are simple on the surface, but more difficult to apply on a deeper level.

So our goal is create a way to allow anyone/everyone who seriously wants to create something spectacular in their marriage the chance to do so via a step by step, from your own home, with total access and support process. Think spur of the moment, in the moment counseling/coaching/encouragement, right where you live.

To me, this eventually will be a total game changer.

We’ll be starting small. And we’ll be starting online. But eventually this process will involve offline offerings as well.

So, if you keep hanging around here for a while, if you watch closely you’ll see a grassroots marriage movement being created out of thin air. And over time, as you participate and get involved, you’ll experience dramatic improvements in your own relationships – plus get the chance to be pivotal in the improvements made in other’s relationships.

Put another way, you’ll take part in the formation and creation of this movement.
You’ll help decide what we do and what we don’t do.
And together, we’ll each experience all relationships have to offer.

Why the shift?

If Blow Up My Marriage and Simple Marriage have already been “successful,” why change things?

The reason, quite frankly, is that most of what’s on the market in the marriage help world is pseudo-help. It may help alleviate some pain or struggle on the surface, but the underlying message actually perpetuates, or exacerbates the issues.

I’m not totally dissing ALL the marriage help stuff out there, but it MUST be used with the proper perspective.

And another thing, most of the marriage gurus on the circuit are riding off into the sunset, towards the tail-end of life, winding down … or without sugar-coating it – old.

It’s time for the next generation of marriage leaders to rise up.

And it’s time for the marriage world to utilize and revolutionize the technology being used by most every household today.

While technology and social media has appeared to offer more connectedness, I think what’s actually happening is there are more marriages (and families) that are more alone together.

What if there was a way to use technology to help create meaningful, lasting, life changing marriages?

That is exactly where we’re heading!

What we’re doing differently.

Whenever people ask me what I do, my answer is, “I’m a marriage therapist who also blogs.” The distinction here is huge.

I don’t consider myself a blogger, or even really a writer. I’m a marriage therapist. A marriage coach. Or as one friend put it, “I’m a marriage artist, helping people sculpt masterpieces.” (I particularly like that one )

First and foremost Simple Marriage is a marriage improvement company.

But this means different things.

Do we produce improvement, enrichment material for couples to use before there’s any major issues? Do we offer resources to help couples navigate major issues that inevitably arise in marriage?

The short answer … yes.

What we are creating will actually do both, depending on your situation. And since you’ll be part of the creation of this “thing,” it’ll directly apply to you.

So what exactly are we developing?

One of the major issues marriages face today is the tendency to move things to the back burner, until there’s a problem. But by then, it may be too late.

One of you may realize there’s an issue or frustration, but neither of you say something.

Instead …

• You settle for roommate status together
• You settle on routine and loneliness together
• You settle for mediocre, occasional sex
• You settle for surface level, scheduling and co-parenting interactions

So we’re creating a revolutionary way for couples to not only improve (or save) their relationship, but also receive continued support and access to help ensure the improvements don’t stop.

If you find this idea intriguing, or at the very least you’re curious about it and want to know more, perhaps we can help each other out at this point.

1. Go here, enter your name and email address and hit “submit”
2. You’ll then be taken to a quick survey to give me your initial thoughts and feedback.

(If you’re already on the list, you can access the survey here)

That’s it. (When you opt-in you’ll get access to our “virtual creation group”, where you’ll get occasional behind the scenes stuff we’re not sharing on the blog, AND you’ll get something free in return (like one of our products/books, etc.- still to be determined))

Think of this as bribery if you like.

But I really want your opinion and input, and I’m willing to bribe you with stuff to get it.

~ Corey

P.S. We’re relying 100% on word of mouth. So if you know someone who could benefit from what we’re creating, please let them know about this post.

P.P.S. If you think what we’re doing is cool, then please consider sharing this post on Facebook, Twitter, or G+.

P.P.P.S. Several of you have emailed regarding the first cliffhanger, our looking for 2 people interested in creating a little fellowship of people looking to fundamentally change and dramatically improve the culture of marriage. Again, this will be addressed in more detail later (what? another cliffhanger! that stinks … I know)

[Note: I'm embarking on something new and I want you to hear the story behind it.]

In January 2008, Simple Marriage began as a place to spread a “be all marriage can be” message.

At that time I was writing a weekly column for a small town newspaper about marriage and family life and began posting the articles online as well. After only posting a few articles, people began finding them and reading, and more excitingly, commenting.

I was hooked.

I stopped writing for the paper and thanks to the medium of this blog, I was able to interact with people from all over the world and was invited into their lives and relationships on a regular basis (a honor I hold very dear).

To this day, the comments and emails I receive are payment for the time spent developing Simple Marriage into a trusted resource for marriage help.

Anyway, sometime during the summer of 2008 I told my wife, “Simple Marriage is going to be a major player in the marriage world. One day it will fundamentally shift and dramatically improve the culture of marriage.”

I’d like the say that so far we’ve radically changed marriages the world over … but we haven’t. Not yet.

Here’s what I think has gone well …

• In 2009 my first book/workbook, A Simple Marriage was published. At the end of 2010, Buck Naked Marriage was released. Both books have been well received and have helped lots of relationships.
• Two years into the evolution of Simple Marriage, 5 columnists came on board to help broaden the message and reach more people looking to improve their most vital relationship. That number grew to 8 a year later (then we realized that brought too many voices into the fold) so currently there are 3 other writers dedicated to helping people address and deepen various aspects of married life.
• Along the way I’ve written two manifestos that outline some major dynamics at work in every committed relationship.
• Through the course of writing Simple Marriage I’ve been blessed to become friends with many other bloggers and writers in the blogoshpere. This has allowed our message to spread to tens of thousands of others in a short timeframe. I’ve also been part of a group of other relationship bloggers born during this time, which is awesome to see other proponents of strong marriages.
• As for readership, Simple Marriage continues to be one of the largest marriage focused sites on the Internet.
• This year, teaming with a SM columnist Susanne Alexander, the Marriage Sparks eCourses have been rolling out. Currently there are 5 available. And each one will improve an aspect of your marriage in a relatively short time.
• And in the Fall of 2010, our flagship course Blow Up My Marriage began. To this day, I believe this is one of the most influential, marriage changing resources on the market. This class has impacted hundreds of people in its 2 years of existence.

So …

• We’ve spread a healthy marriage is important message, but we haven’t fundamentally changed the culture of marriage.
• We’ve provided a broader range and message for families and relationships, but we haven’t fundamentally changed the culture of marriage.
• We’ve grown our readership and presented the Simple Marriage message to tens of thousands of people, but we haven’t fundamentally changed the culture of marriage.
• We’ve helped couples on the brink of divorce transform their marriage and create something out of this world – which has fundamentally changed the culture of marriage (for these specific couples/people).

While I’m humbled by the success of Simple Marriage, and Blow Up My Marriage specifically, it’s not enough yet.

When you look at the world of marriage/relationship improvement resources on the Internet, much of what you find is either Hollywood gossip/tabloid sleaze that actually helps no one or people with a desire and heart for others, born out of prior struggles in their own lives. And while going through low points in marriage and surviving together is totally commendable and should be applauded and shared, there’s something to be said about professional training and perspectives that carries a certain amount of weight.

Thus far Simple Marriage has been more a blog than a business. And while we will continue to produce regular content and posts like a blog, I believe to become a major player in the marriage world and to fundamentally change the culture of marriage – some shifts need to happen.

So … this month some small shifts will occur.

In the past I’ve shared some of my desires and plans – to mixed responses: from being trashed to total support.

I’ve learned quite a lot during our journey together thus far (and I continually will). But at some point, everyone who truly wants to revolutionize something has to step out and take their shot.

So … this is me taking my shot.

To that end, I’m going to share with you a couple of the shifts we’d like to see happen.

One, we’re looking to bring on board 2 people interested in creating a little fellowship of people looking to fundamentally change and dramatically improve the culture of marriage. The 2 people will not be only columnists, instead we’re looking for 2 people interested in revolutionizing the way marriage help is created, offered, delivered, and presented.

To be qualified for one of these slots you’ll have to have some kind of credentialing in the relationship, self-improvement, people helping world. You also must have a strong take the ball and run with it nature as well as a creative and exceptional teacher/communicator. [more on this later]

And two, instead of offering print resources and marriage classes like we have in the past, we’ll be developing … [to be continued]

~ Corey

P.S. I’ll fill in the details for both these shifts in the coming days. Until then, feel free to speak up, vent, ask questions, even rip me up in the comments. All details will be filled in eventually, I promise.

In case you weren’t aware, there have been 5 Free Marriage Courses available for you to receive via your inbox.

You can have past posts sent for free to your inbox, and the best part, they are broken down into the topics.

Head over to the Free Marriage Courses page, you’ll find these topics: Communication, Family Life and Parenting, Sex and Intimacy, Simplicity, and the Nice Guy/Girl Series.

Now you can also sign up for the newest marriage course … Sexual Desire Differences.

Let’s say you’re the high desire partner when it comes to sex in your marriage. How do you handle having the bulk of the initiation burden on your shoulders?

But what if you’re the low desire partner? How do you handle the fact that you actually control sex?

This series of lessons cover how to handle the differences in desire in your marriage, and how to use these differences to create something better for both of you.

Go here to sign up for this course or any of the other courses.

Or, simply use the form below.

Sexual desire differences course

Family life can be chaotic, hectic, busy and even down-right crazy at times.

It can also be routine, ho-hum, boring and monotonous.

No matter which extreme, or wherever in between, describes your experience – what if there was a collection of books gathered together aimed at simplifying things in family life?

Things like cooking, parenting, relationships, money and the like?

Know what?

For four days … there is!

From Monday, April 16th at 8 a.m. EST to Friday, April 20th at 8 a.m. EST you have the chance to purchase 38 of the best family life ebooks and products the blogosphere has to offer, worth more than $375!

And during this time, the entire collection is only $29 – more than 90% off the retail value if purchased separately.

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If you purchased last year’s collection, you’ll find 33 brand new products worth more than $335!

Here’s a full list of everything that’s included:

Entrepreneurship & Blogging

Blogger Behave by Laura @ 10 Million Miles ($4.99)

How to Have Your Cake and Eat It, Too by Mandi @ Life Your Way ($12.00)

Make Money Blogging by Tara @ Feels Like Home ($4.99)

Tap Into Your Unique Creativity and Self Expression Webinar by Lisa @ WellGrounded Life ($39.00)

Tell Your Time by Amy @ Blogging with Amy ($4.99)

Your Blogging Business: Tax Talk & Tips from a Bookkeeper Turned Blogger by Nikki @ Christian Mommy Blogger ($4.99)

Food & Cooking

Get Lean Recipe for Success by Nisha @ Healthy Mom’s Kitchen ($37.00)

Got Dinner? by Susan @ The Confident Mom ($4.00)

How To Cook For Yourself: A Complete Beginner’s Guide by Rachael @ Kitchen Courses ($35.00)

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Real Food Basics by Kate @ Modern Alternative Mama ($6.95)

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Homemaking

2012 Confident Mom Weekly Household Planner by Susan @ The Confident Mom($9.00)

Clean Start: Your Guide to Natural Home Cleaning by Michelle @ Open Eye Health($4.95)

Complete Printables Download Pack by Mandi @ Life Your Way ($7.00)

Food on Your Face for Acne & Oily Skin by Leslie @ Crunchy Betty ($7.99)

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Not a DIY Diva by Melissa @ The Inspired Room ($3.99)

One Bite at a Time by Tsh @ Simple Mom ($5.00)

That Works for Me by Kristen @ We Are THAT Family ($8.00)

Marriage & Relationships

A Simple Marriage by Corey @ Simple Marriage ($4.99)

Buck Naked Marriage by Corey @ Simple Marriage ($2.99)

Entangled by Amy @ Permission to Peruse ($4.99)

The A to Z Guide: 26 Ways in 26 Days to a Happier, Healthier Marriage by The Dating Divas ($9.97)

Minimalism for Families

101 Ways to Simplify Your Life by Laura @ Journey to a Simple Life ($9.95)

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The Minimalist Mom’s Guide to Baby’s First Year by Rachel @ The Minimalist Mom($9.95)

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Simple Marriage began four years and over 700 articles ago.

That’s a lot of information, from a lot of different people, covering a lot of different topics.

We’ve also grown quite a bit recently, adding new readers every day (welcome, by the way).

So what if you’re new to our little community, or you’ve been here the whole time, you’re interested in reading about a specific topic and unsure where to begin?

The answer is simple: check out the free marriage courses.

So what are the free marriage courses you ask?

Custom courses broken down by topic and delivered for free to your Inbox. Topics like family life, simplicity, Nice Guy/Nice Girl, sex, and communication.

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Simple, eh?

Click below to read more or sign up for the course of your choice.

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Viva la marriage!

Of all the items I own, one of my favorite is a Kindle.

I usually end each day reading, and what better way to have several books in one place without adding to night-stand clutter.

Another great thing in life is Chocolate!

Since Valentine’s Day is this week, we’re hosting a giveaway, and we’re combining these two great things!

This week one Simple Marriage reader will win Kindle, Wi-Fi, 6″ E Ink Display and Ghirardelli’s New Line of Gourmet Milk™ Chocolate.

If you like reading, you’ll love owning a Kindle.

And what better way to enjoy a good book that with some chocolate?

Ghirardelli Chocolate Company is offering an upgraded milk chocolate — Ghirardelli Gourmet Milk™ — providing chocolate lovers with three new reasons to increase their pleasure with the introduction of Gourmet Milk Creamy Devotion™ with rich and creamy 32% cacao chocolate, Gourmet Milk Sea Salt Escape™ with sea salt and roasted almonds and Gourmet Milk Coconut Rendezvous™ which features toasted coconut flakes.

How To Enter

Leave a comment on this post answering this question: Where is your favorite place to read?

For a second entry, share this giveaway on Facebook using the Facebook link below. Then leave an additional comment letting me know you’ve done so.

And for a third entry, share this giveaway on Twitter. Be sure to include @simplemarriage and the URL of this post so I can see it. Better yet, copy and paste the following:

A Kindle and chocolate! Win yours via @simplemarriage this week. Hurry, the giveaway ends Fri. http://wp.me/paZ8c-2vY

This giveaway will end Friday – February 17th at 11:59 PM CST.

The winner of this giveaway will be notified via email. Good luck.