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Photo courtesy one from RM

If you happened to miss the initial guide, be sure to check it out.

One reader posted a comment asking a few very good follow up questions based on part one. Here is an excerpt of the comment:

Finding a therapist, especially when there isn’t anything catastrophic wrong, is a challenging thing. There just seems no good way to find someone without a referral from a friend, which most people (including myself) are too uncomfortable asking for.

How do you do a phone screen? How do you know if the counseling is “working”? How long is a fair trial?

Allow me to attempt to tackle the stigma of going to counseling. Continue reading…

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One evening after putting the kids to bed, I was reading an article in the newest Backpacker magazine about two people who hiked the Continental Divide Trail from New Mexico to Canada and then back. It took them almost 200 straight days on the trail to complete the task.

As I was reading, my wife came in a said, “Why don’t you take a month and go on an adventure? You’d love it. Why don’t you go and do it?”

A month ago I posed this question to you my loyal readers. There were some great responses. Most everyone who commented stated they would head outdoors and/or travel.

Now that summer is in full swing, I’ve planned out my adventure and I thought I’d share it with you. Continue reading…

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Photo courtesy Ross Burton

When I look at the world I’m pessimistic, but when I look at people I am optimistic. ~Carl Rogers

As you may or may not know, my paying gig is as a marriage and family therapist. I’ve had a private practice in the town where I live for 6 years now specializing in working with married couples.

I’m a big advocate for the counseling profession and believe everyone can benefit from counseling at some point in their life. Mainly due to the fact that each one of us was born into a family and every family is dysfunctional. While the degrees of dysfunction will be as varied as the families in the world, every one of them passes on their dysfunction.

That being said, there are some things you should be aware of and ask before you begin the journey into the therapy world. Continue reading…

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The following is taken from Jonathan Fields, Awake @ The Wheel. Great questions to explore. 

Three simple questions…

1. If you knew you could not fail and those around you would not only suspend judgment, but wholeheartedly support you…what would you do?
2. Are you doing it?
3. If not…why?

Oh, one final question…

1. If your reason for not doing something is that you’re afraid of failing or being judged…how much worse would that be than never having tried?

Think about it and post your answers in the comments section below.   Continue reading…

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Last week I introduced the idea of going 21 days in a row without complaining. The idea is from a Kansas City minister named Will Bowen who has created a buzz across the globe.

My wife and I are almost a week in to this crusade and it has become evident that we complain more than we thought. Rather than throw her under the bus in this post, which I guess could be interpreted as complaining, I’ll let you know how I am doing.

Not so well.

I am proud to state that I did go almost two days in a row once. Wow, a whole two days. Pitiful. I had to start over after I played basketball with a group of friends, where I complained and criticized (I am putting trash talk in the criticizing category). Over the weekend I figured it would be much easier. Especially considering that my wife would be gone to see her mom and the kids would be with close friends. Wrong. Continue reading…

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Photo courtesy Fugasa

My wife and I have embarked on a 21-day complaint free marriage experiment. I was first introduced to this idea on Tim Ferriss’ blog. In fact, there is a huge movement towards a complaint free world, almost 5 million bracelets distributed worldwide.

The idea is simple; go 21 days in a row without complaining. Sounds easy, right?

Nope!

After only 2 days, we both had already started over twice. And I consider myself to be a pretty optimistic person. I found out there is still work to be done. Continue reading…

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There are many things of which a wise man might wish to be ignorant.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking. ~Albert Einstein

If you are like me, you spent a good deal of your day with your computer on, Outlook (or whatever email server you use) running in the background, several browser screens going throughout the day, as well as a Word document or two and maybe even some Excel spreadsheets thrown in for good measure. Yet, even with all this “work” open, I can waste a day with the best of them. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that I will also have music playing and/or the TV on as well. I am thoroughly immersed in noise and distraction. And most of this noise is negative and overblown. Don’t believe me, watch your local news and tell me what you see.

In 2008, I am committing to an information fast. I am going to unplug from most of the information sources I have sought and seek to spend more time with family, friends, or outside. This actually started on a smaller scale about two months ago, which was the last time I watched a local news broadcast. Continue reading…

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It’s time to face the facts, we all have some concern about what others think of us. If we didn’t, then the time we spent picking out our clothes, preparing ourselves for going out, worrying about what we drive, or where we live would not take near as long as it does. We also would not watch the TV news shows, visit the gossip sections of the Internet, or look at the magazines in order to know what other people are wearing or doing or who said what to who about what. We would not have the desire to know what other people are doing in order to emulate their life. Hollywood stars would just be other people. No paparazzi or journalists following their every move. It seems that many people are more interested in watching other people live than they are in living their own life. Spectatoring runs rampant.

At some level, we want to be noticed and liked. But when this desire goes beyond living from our core values and dreams, we live life according to others. Namely, our family and friends and coworkers determine our life for us. We spend more time doing what other people want rather than what we want. Continue reading…

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