August 3, 2008
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Photo courtesy Sleestak66
Have you bought the new 3G IPhone yet? What about the Wii Fit? Or the Apple Airbook? While there is nothing wrong with any of these items, as well as many others, do you really need them? Do they simplify life or make things more complicated?
On the surface, the latest cell phone/calendar/email server/game console/navigation system may help in organizing life, but at what cost? Many people will rush out and pick up the latest gadget before they can really afford it. Paying by the credit card shuffle in order to keep up with the trends. So do these gadgets really simplify life in these instances? No.
Rather than focusing this post on the materialistic pulls that may complicate life, it’s also important to look at how you can simplify schedules, family routines, marriage, parenting, and households. Continue reading…
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July 22, 2008
Brett and Kate McKay of The Art of Manliness have rocketed up the blog-o-sphere this year. In an effort to learn more about the people behind the blogs, here is a brief interview Simple Marriages conducted with them recently.
The hope for these interviews are for the rest of us to get a glimpse of life behind the blog scenes and perhaps a few nuggets of information we can apply to our lives and marriages. Continue reading…
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July 20, 2008
I married a CPA. At the risk of offending the CPA society, your brains are just wired differently than the rest of us. That is definitely the case with my wife.
I consider myself to be fairly good with numbers, and I did well in Math back in school, but I’m not in the league of the CPA. Although I do find great pleasure when my checkbook balances and hers is off a few cents. She returns the joy by poking fun at how long it takes me to complete the 1 star Sudoku puzzle.
For the life of our marriage, she preferred to live within a budget. For the beginning years of our marriage I would enter the discussions kicking and screaming. I always felt a budget was far too limiting. I didn’t want to cramp my style.
Needless to say, my attitude helped get us in a financial hole.
The two most common topics fought over in marriage are money and sex. I’ve written plenty of times on the sex topic, now it’s time to tackle the money.
When it comes to budgeting, there are those that live by one and those of us that swear tomorrow we are going to sit down and write one out. The intention is honest, we just have trouble following through.
So how do you set up a budget you’ll actually follow? Continue reading…
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July 16, 2008
Tell me if you’ve ever done this. You’re at a function of some type with several other people. The air conditioner in the place obviously works very well. Instead of speaking up and stating that you are cold and wish someone would turn up the AC, you phrase it in a question. “Are you cold? You look like you’re cold.” What’s the risk in speaking up and stating what you’re experiencing? “Hey, I’m cold. Anyone got an extra Parka?”
Maybe you’ve been in this situation. You’re going about your daily tasks with your family or significant other and they say something in passing to you. While whatever they said was innocuous, your interpretation was anything but. You storm out of the room or react with a verbal unleashing that would give any baseball coach a run for his money.
If none of the preceding examples have happened, how about this. You are so deeply involved in your routine of life and work that when you come home after a long day, you simply co-exist with your spouse. You don’t even talk anymore. You’ve drifted apart and are living lives together under the same roof, but miles apart.
The common belief for the cause of these examples? You are having trouble communicating. Continue reading…
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July 13, 2008
Have you ever had an idea that only grew larger in scope as you began working on it? In January 2008, The Simple Marriage Project began as a way to share articles and ideas about marriage and life. Specifically getting more out of marriage and life.
There are far too many couples and people for that matter who have settled on life as is. They’ve resigned themselves to a life of monotony and schedules. Moving mindlessly from one activity to the next. Life is determined more by other’s expectations than their own design.
Last month I came across Chris Guillebeau’s Brief Guide To World Domination. After reading through his brief guide, worth the read by the way, I’m developing a strategy for how the Simple Marriage Project can dominate the world. Not as an unruly, power hungry dictator; but as a marriage movement. Continue reading…
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July 10, 2008
I have been asked by several readers for a guide to creating a Simple Marriage. There is no step by step manual for marriage, that’s unrealistic. But I do believe there are a few questions to ask yourself and your spouse that will assist with getting this process under way.
Each of these questions have a companion question. The idea is to begin answering individually then as a couple. There are no right or wrong answers. But these questions are not designed to be easily answered either.
Begin by writing down your initial responses. Mull them over. Meditate on them. Pray. Then come back to them at a later time. Continue reading…
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July 7, 2008
Here’s a question I received the other day from a Simple Marriage reader.
Dear Dr. Allan-
My husband and I have been married for 13 years, and while we’ve had our ups and downs, overall our marriage is good. Lately however, I’ve noticed a level of unhappiness in each of us. While it’s not so bad that I would leave him, or him me, it is noticeable. How can we add some spice to our marriage to break out of old habits?
Thanks.
A bored wife, Dallas, TX
Dear bored wife-
What you are describing is quite common in any long term committed relationship. The newness is going to wear off and routines are going to settle in. I would bet that you could accurately predict your husband’s schedule of interaction with you throughout the week, and he could do the same for you.
We all live fairly predictable lives. It’s part of the comfort zone so many of us enjoy residing within. Too much uncertainty and change is scary. So scary in fact that most people will choose unhappiness over uncertainty. Continue reading…
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July 3, 2008
With the 4th of July holiday now upon us, it’s probably safe to assume you will be spending some time with your family over the extended weekend. But what about the times you’re apart? That is of course assuming you have a life beyond your job and your spouse.
So I pose these questions to you the Simple Marriage reader: Is it healthy to spend time apart from your spouse with your friends? How often? What do you do during these times?
Post your thoughts in the comment section below. I look forward to the discussion.
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My name is Corey Allan. It's nice to meet you. I began blogging during the summer of 2007 with the belief that it's possible to get more out of marriage and life. Blogging seemed like a great way to share ideas and find others who want more as well. With your help, our little project can change the world.