Simple Marriage | Relationship Design

5 Reasons for Creating Your Own Wedding Vows

Written by Susanne M. Alexander · 6 Comments

Post written by premarital columnist Susanne Alexander of Marriage Transformation.

Your wedding vows reflect the essence of your relationship and direct what happens after the wedding.

They state what actions you commit to doing to create your marriage. Even if your ceremony has pre-set vows, you can share your own personal vows as part of the reception, perhaps before the toasts.

And after marriage?

Anniversaries are great for reviewing the promises you made in your vows and setting goals for anything that’s off-course. And, if you didn’t write down before marriage what you want to have together, it can still be helpful to do it now.

Writing your own vows:

1. Provides Couple Reflection Time: Your vows will reflect what’s important to both of you if you talk about them as you write them. This is true whether they are individual vows or a mutual one you both craft together. Couples sometimes get stuck on the romance of hearing individual vows for the first time at the wedding. But then do they truly reflect your united hearts and minds?

2. Highlights Potential Challenges: Sometimes you don’t realize that the two of you are on different pages until you write your vows. It’s wise to pay careful attention to where you have differing visions of your marriage. Do you change course? Do you get some counseling from a family member or professional? It’s vital to address any differences and not just push through to the wedding hoping for the best. It’s unwise to leave creating your vows until the last minute!

3. Creates a Commitment: Thinking through what’s vital in your relationship and what you want your marriage to look like in action gives voice to what you truly commit to create. You can include how you will speak to and act with one another and what activities you will do together as marriage partners. You can envision your marriage and family and what it will take to fulfill it.

4. Connects You to Family and Community: When you make your vows public in front of people who care about you, they can help you with fulfilling them. They can also hold you accountable at times through reminding you what you promised and holding you to it.

5. Reflects Your Personal Beliefs: You can align your vows with what is most important to the two of you. For example, as couples increasingly embrace equal partnership in their relationships, the word “obey” often does not work. The new model for marriages is respectful and joint consultation and decision-making. A wife might occasionally defer to a husband and a husband to a wife, but practicing equality means neither has the right to dictate to the other and expect obedience. Your vows could reflect a perspective like this.

Some couples may simply create a vision statement for their marriage and share it at the ceremony. Here is one given as an example by John Curtis, Ph.D., in All-in-One Marriage Prep: 75 Experts Share Tips and Wisdom to Help You Get Ready Now:

“Our vision for our relationship is one where we will have complete trust and honesty, free of fears or anxieties, and full of acceptance and support. We each will be devoted to helping one another reach our full potential through the ever-increasing exploration of who we are as partners and parents and by expressing our individuality. We will be close to God, Who will bless us with lives full of deep meaning. We will continue to explore our world and include our family members whenever possible. We will be free of material burdens while living a rich and full life.”

Other vows will be more complex. Here is a portion of the detailed one used by Terri Muuss (a life coach), and Matthew Pasca (a teacher) of Long Island, New York, when they married:

• Treat each other with love, honor, respect, courtesy, and integrity.
• Be examples of service to ourselves, each other, our families, friends, and communities.
• Deal with issues that arise as soon as possible.
• Be playful, have fun, and incorporate humor into daily life.
• Act with integrity in all things, particularly in our finances, our work, and our service commitments.
• Enrich our lives with the arts.

Terri says, “Designing concrete, specific vows as opposed to more general ones has made it so much easier to remind ourselves of the importance of tending to our partnership on a daily basis. Being of service, laughing, and dealing with issues immediately have just become part of the routine of our lives, as opposed to a grandiose claim made once many years ago at our wedding.” [An expanded list of possible vow items is in All-in-One Marriage Prep.]

Whatever way you choose to do your vows, the key is to do them together and weeks in advance of the wedding. And then have a great time making your promises come true in your marriage!

(photo source)

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What do you fear most in your marriage?

Written by Corey · 10 Comments

Named must your fear be before banish it you can.
-YODA, Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back

Many people go into a marriage with an ideal in mind.

After saying “I do” to him or her, life will be a happily ever after, long walk on a sunset beach, hand in hand, staring into each others eyes, and then making love in the morning with the cool breeze through the window and the birds singing in the trees- Blah, Blah, Blah.

If you are currently married, you know full well that this fairy tale seldom, if ever occurs.

How many of us go into a relationship having thought through worst case scenarios?

What’s the worst that could happen in a marriage?

Is it the prospect of divorce? Maybe.

For me, the worst case scenario would be monotony.

Settling for the same thing each and every day for as long as we both shall live. Where do I sign?

To be clear, I am not in favor of divorce.

Most of the time, it is the easy way out.

Failing to acknowledge a possibility does not make it go away. Inherent in every relationship is the ending of it.

But when you honestly address the fact that relationships involve risk, you’ll likely find you are more capable of conquering the fear often associated with the risk.

The thing about risk – risks often aren’t that scary once you face them. And very few things in our world are really life and death types of risks … although it’s easy to get caught up in the feeling.

Most people become paralyzed when faced with the prospect of risking their relationship.

They will choose unhappiness over uncertainty.

They choose to settle with their spouse.

The idea becomes “well if this is as good as it’s going to get, ok,” or “they are never going to change so I might as well get used to it.”

In this scenario, the only thing left to do is wait for death, which may be a long way off.

But,

what if you actually faced the fear? Took a risk?

It all begins with a pointed discussion regarding the current state of things.

And this discussion may need to be with yourself, but from there, you can begin to design the life and the relationship you want.

(photo source)

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A sure fire way to improve marriage … play

Written by Corey · 13 Comments

Play has become a lost art in the adult world. Perhaps even in the kid world … play may not be what it used to be.

Gone are the days of tag, chase, tackle the man with the ball, dodgeball, and the like. Also gone are the “dangerous toys” like the metal Tonka trucks that are indestructible, the monkey bars that tower into the air, the tree house built way up in the tree with a homemade zip line going into the garage, and the metal slide that’s 4 stories tall with no side-rails and several bumps on the way down. Okay so the last one may be a bit of an exaggeration but it’s not far off.

Play serves a great purpose.

Remember when you used to call up your friends or head over to their house and greet them with “wanna play?” It didn’t matter what you played, you’d make it up.

Today it seems that play is all but dead. Especially in the adult world. Even parenting has been impacted.

Parenting often becomes more about the child’s achievement and directing towards goals – be it the child’s – or far more likely the parent’s goals.

Schools are doing away with recess in the belief that giving up play time will allow more time for study. Even preschoolers are not immune to this shift.

Through the 80’s and 90’s a 4 billion dollar industry sprang up … tutoring. With 26% of it being devoted for 2 to 6 year olds. Babies … who should be spending more time in imaginative play than structured learning.

Play develops a child’s cognitive skills.

By play, I mean true child directed play: free, unstructured play where the kids invent the activities that reflect their own curiosities and interests.

Too many children are parentified, or expected to become adults too fast. And too many adults have added too many stipulations and parameters to play – in short, they’ve lost the art of play.

Play is critical in a child’s life. According to David Elkind, play is vital in teaching a child how to control himself and interact with others.

But play is also important in the adult world.

It opens to door to new solutions and creative sparks. It adds passion and energy to life and marriage.

Researcher Jaak Panksepp believes play turns on hundreds of genes in the brain. Specifically, play stimulates neurogenesis to hasten the development of the frontal cortex in the brain.

Play is vital to the development of our children and the health of our families, but it is also vital to us as adults.

So what can you do today?

Encourage your kids to play with other kids. This may seem like a no-brainer, but it doesn’t seem to happen that often. Many parentified children would rather play with adults than other kids. While this may seem mature and grown-up, anytime a kid plays with an adult, imagination and leadership skills are stifled. Adults often take charge or limit the imagination because we can’t compete with a child’s imagination level. When you do play with a child, let go of your imagination restrictions and let them take the lead. When they want you to be a princess or a prince who helps tame the nice dragon so you can fight the mean one, do it!
Play with your kids everyday for at least 30 minutes. Spend time as a family playing. One of my favorite times each day is the wrestling time I get with my daughter and son. My son, before he could even talk, would walk over to the floor and point meaning “it’s time to wrestle dad!” Before long, my daughter and my wife would be in the mix. Now that he’s almost 4 he just runs and jumps on me anytime I’m within range. It’s a great bonding time as well as a testing of my children’s strength and abilities.
Take your kids out of school for a day. You don’t have to do this too often, but take your kids someplace instead of school. You could even incorporate some learning opportunities into this. Visit the zoo, the aquarium, local museums, or galleries. You could even go to the park. Give them an unexpected break from their normal structure and spend the time together.
Play with your spouse. Pull out the games after the kids are in bed, or go outside and build a snowman together. Point is, you don’t have to be structured in every aspect of your life … just play.

Now … off you go. Have fun storming the castle!

(photo source)

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Can you be too close to your spouse?

Written by Corey · 8 Comments

Apparently, there are varying beliefs about whether your spouse should be your best friend.

Let me begin by quoting something from the previous article that possibly was missed: “To clarify, I’m referring to best friend here as a primary and/or sole outlet of your relational needs.”

Of course your spouse is going to be your friend.

And of course your spouse is going to be important in your life. But when your spouse is the entirety of your life, or the center of your existence … that’s what I believe can lead to problems.

Specifically in the area of desire and sex.

One thing that differentiates your spouse from the others in your life is the fact that you have sex with your spouse. You “know” them differently, and they you.

That’s part of what I believe makes marriage elegant … and delicate.

As your spouse climbs the ladder of importance in your life, you experience the paradox of human relationships – our need for enough togetherness to survive and enough separateness to thrive.

With friends, this paradox is still present, but to a lesser degree.

Marriage is the main playing field of this paradox. It’s also the best relationship designed for growing up.

I believe many couples begin to experience issues in their relationship when they’re too close. The pull toward togetherness is often stronger than the pull toward separateness in marriage. And this usually means there’s more pressure to conform or accommodate your spouse’s wishes or wants in order to keep the peace.

Where the issue of being too close most often shows up is in a decrease of passion, novelty and eroticism – because these aspects can only exist in the space between you. (See Esther Perel’s book, Mating in Captivity for a much deeper look at this idea)

So to rephrase my previous post … if your spouse is your entire world – monotony is likely to ensue. But when you both work to live full, interesting and passionate lives – this will naturally spill over into the relationship.

What I find interesting is that most of the comments that disagreed with the premise of the previous post went on to describe the same thing stated within the post.

Granted, when it comes to friendship, and marriage for that matter, there is no one way to approach it – and it’s all about finding a healthy balance.

But I firmly believe marriage is choice … and it’s just as much a choice on day 1,761 as it is on day 1.

(photo source)

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Should your spouse be your best friend?

Written by Corey · 51 Comments

“He’s like my best friend.”

“She’s the best friend in my life.”

These are common statements and beliefs about a relationship with our spouse.

That they must be our friend, no, best friend — as well as all the other roles a spouse plays in marriage.

While I don’t discount that there should be friendship between husband and wife, having him or her as your best friend will be the death-nail to the marriage.

To clarify, I’m referring to best friend here as a primary and/or sole outlet of your relational needs.

When you first met your spouse, ideally you were both living lives that were fulfilling and interesting (note the emphasis on “ideally”— if you and/or your spouse didn’t have a lot going on when you first met, the relationship was already in really big trouble). One reason your spouse was attractive was the life they were living apart from you. The lives you were living before you met were an important part of what made each of you who you were.

As you began spending more time together and getting to know one another, you likely had less time to engage in the things you were doing before you met. Some couples go so far as to completely give up everything they previously found fulfilling and important in order to spend time together. The problem with this is, as you became fused, you became more and more dependent on each other to meet your individual needs.

That’s the problem with your spouse being your best friend.

As you give up those things you find fulfilling and important for the sake of the relationship, this places a tremendous burden on your spouse to fill the void of whatever you gave up. And this burden will create neediness and dependency, as well as resentment and boredom.

One of the best things you can do for your spouse is have a couple of great same-sex friendships.

Every marriage needs space between the spouses. It is within this space that you find energy, passion, eroticism, quiet time, and personal fulfillment.

While I believe that friendship within the marriage is vital for the relationship, close friendships outside of the marriage are equally important, especially if you want a marriage with lots of passion, eroticism, adventure, and energy.

One of the biggest killers of passion in marriage is all the meaningless time spouses spend together. And this monotonous coexistence is what often comes to define most marriages.

If you want to create a great marriage full of energy, adventure, passion, and love, spend some time away from your spouse with your friends.

(photo source)

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10 Tips to Living a Mindful Marriage

Written by Sean · 20 Comments

Post written by dates and romance columnist Sean Marshall of Family Rocketship.

Recently, my wife and I had some friends over to play board games. About half way through the game I realized that, while we were all having a good time, something was a little off.

Then it hit me – every single one of us had our phones in front of us! When it wasn’t our turn in the game, we were scanning Facebook, checking emails, and so forth. In other words, we weren’t really connecting with each other.

I called everyone on it and we put our phones away.

Just like a game night with friends, oftentimes our marriages get distracted as well. There are bills to pay, chores to do, meals to prepare, and more. Life is busy. But it shouldn’t get in the way of a great marriage.

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~ Barnett R. Brickner

Being the right mate involves living mindfully. It means being conscious about what’s happening in your marriage and taking charge of your own marital happiness.

Here are 10 ways you can be more mindful in your marriage.

1. Plan to have time with your spouse.
This sounds like an obvious one I know but I’ve got to list it. It’s often said to go on a date once a week with your spouse. If you have kids, this is especially important. It’s also important to find time together each day. No TV. No phones. No books. Just each other.

2. Your spouse is your priority.
Whenever your spouse requests your time, make sure you give it. Ultimately, nothing will be more important in life than your relationship with your spouse. If he or she needs your time, perhaps the company meeting or the soccer game can wait?

3. Continually learn about each other.
Take time to ask questions. Even if you’ve been married for decades, there are still things you don’t know about your spouse. Take the time to find out his or her thoughts, feelings, memories, and future goals.

4. Take time for affection.
Have you ever been guilty of going a day without kissing or hugging? It happens a lot if you’re not consciously remembering to do so. It’s important to take time throughout the day to spontaneously show affection. Yes, this does include sex but it’s not all. Affection includes simply holding hands or a back or foot massage. You can even try just looking into one another’s eyes for an indefinite amount of time. A little affection goes a long way.

5. Learn something new together.
How about learning a new language? Or perhaps you could take golf lessons? Or maybe you’d prefer to get your scuba certification? Couples who learn together, grow together.

6. Do your partners favorite thing often.
I heard this piece of advice when my wife and I were still newlyweds. With her, there’s no doubt her favorite thing to do is dancing. So I took ballroom dance lessons. It was surprisingly fun! Doing your spouse’s favorite thing means connecting directly with something that he or she values. It’s also a great way to physically show you care.

7. Share a genuine compliment.
How many times have you thought your husband or wife looked stunning but didn’t say anything? How many times did he or she do something amazing and you forgot to mention it? Take time often to actively look for the good in your spouse and tell them! The catch is that it must be genuine.

8. Say “Thank You”.
Closely related to sharing a compliment is to thank your spouse for something specific. Everyday there are things that he or she does that makes your life better in some way. Thank them for it! Even if it’s something as mundane as, “Thank you for picking up the groceries”. The little things turn into big things. A healthy side effect is a marriage full of gratitude.

9. Plan together.
When you first were married, you had big plans for your life. Are you meeting those goals? Take time together often (at least weekly) to make plans. Plan the everyday tasks and also the big things like vacations and holidays. This is also a perfect time to work on your life vision. What does it look like and how well are you doing in realizing it?

10. Service.
Enough cannot be said about the value of serving your spouse. This means the little things – getting up with the kids, preparing a meal, doing a chore you normally don’t do. If everyone simply focused on this single concept of serving their spouses and putting their needs first, there would be less divorce and more happiness in the world.

What are some ways that make your marriage more mindful?

20 comments, add yours

30 Ways to be Intimate With Your Wife

Written by guest · 49 Comments

Post written by Sean Platt of Writer Dad.

Intimacy can be defined in many ways.

But if you’re a dude, your brain probably went exactly where mine would have; the nape of a neck, the curve of a breast, or…

Sorry, where was I?

Truth is, intimacy isn’t what happens between the sheets. Intimacy means fostering a warm, friendly, informal atmosphere that makes is easy to share mutual interests, habits or affections.

Sex equals intimacy, but intimacy doesn’t necessarily equal sex.

Intimacy with your spouse should be the breath of your relationship. Yes, intimacy should include physical touch and carnal pleasure, but it must also be a core value that leads you to a deeper understanding of your partner.

Nurture your intimacy and you will have a union that is happier, healthier, and filled with surprises. Get to know your best half a little better and remind her that she’s the center of your universe. Gather insight into her interests outside of the bedroom and you might be surprised at what happens once the door is closed.

Here are 30 ways to be intimate with your wife. Start today and by this time next month you’ll be making the neighbors jealous.

Have a Picnic: Whether you have a picnic at the park, beach, or living room floor, sharing a blanket full of food is a simple yet terrific way to enhance intimacy. You could be sitting beneath a cloud-filled sky dreaming of what will one day be, or in front of the fireplace reveling in silence – the one-one-one without the usual distractions will reinforce the idea that all you need is each other.
Take her to the ballet: Maybe your wife isn’t the theater type. But if ballet, opera or anything on the stage is something she would enjoy, two tickets for an evening at the theater will show how much you care. Ballet or opera probably aren’t for, but it isn’t about you. Buying tickets shows an active interest in her.
Book a room at a local bed and breakfast: This is a low maintenance way to experience the benefits of time away without emptying your bank account. Lavish your lover with a romantic evening and a leisurely breakfast, and let someone else do all the heavy lifting.
Send flowers to work: Take it from me, a guy who worked in a flower shop for 12 years. Women LOVE getting flowers, especially at work. Having flowers delivered to your wife’s workplace will make the women around her jealous. Imagine what that might do for you.
Surprise her: Leave an hour early from work and have a nice dinner prepared when she gets home. Schedule a babysitter for the kids if you need to, but make the evening about the two of you.
Prepare a gift basket full of romantic items: Your wife works hard. Sometimes all she wants is a break. Give her what she needs with a basket brimming full of bath salts, chocolates, bubble bath and scented candles. The basket does the hard work for you, providing her with a calm, relaxing (and accessible) escape from reality.
Make a romantic memory scavenger hunt: I’m sure you remember back when you first started dating and intimacy wasn’t a problem. Create a scavenger hunt built around your personal histories; your first kiss, first I love you!, or any old moment worth reliving. She’ll love the memories!
Give her public praise: Just as sending flowers to her workplace will build her self esteem and help her see you in a softer light, even when you’re not around, praising her in public, whether she’s present or not, will do the same – especially when she hears others repeating your words back to her.
Make her breakfast in bed: It’s cliché, but you can never go wrong with breakfast in bed (as long as you don’t burn anything or settle for cold cereal!).
Do your chores (and hers): Surprise her by completing a stray chore or lingering home project that’s been laying unfinished for too long. Chipping in shows her you don’t take her for granted. Whether you’re helping to potty train your toddler, or finally finishing building the deck, your extra set of hands won’t go unnoticed.
Maintain eye contact: Great eye contact sends the signal that your partner’s words are important to you. It shows your interest and affection. This will make your wife feel valued.
Talk about your goals, then record them together: Discuss what you want for your collective future, then write those goals and set a date to re-evaluate them every six months. This will this make a great date night, but more importantly, it will establish a tradition of bonding that will keep you growing as a couple.
Give her a seven second kiss: No need to hurry. Give her the same lingering lips you once did, back before she did all your laundry and you mailed all the bills.
Be a better listener: Intimacy is about understanding and appreciating your wife’s desires and interests. Being a better listener means more than not watching TV while she’s talking, it’s about caring enough to ask the questions that will fertilize the conversation.
Have a mini-honeymoon: Make time to get away for a long weekend. How long has it been since the two of you spent significant time alone together? Chances are, you’re overdue. Choose a special spot to get away from it all, and use your time to learn a little more about each other.
Have manners: Be a gentleman. This may not seem like a big deal, but courtesy might be a bigger turn on for your Mrs. than you realize. Don’t let chivalry die on your watch; open the door, pull out her chair and by all means, use the manners your mama gave you.
Let her rest: When the kids rise in the middle of the night, or are up first thing Sunday morning, take the initiative to lead the family toward quiet. Bonus points if you take her out to breakfast when she wakes up!
Put her goals first: If your wife wants to go back to school, make sure she has the chance. Whether she wants to learn sewing or scuba diving, give her time to learn and grow herself. If your wife feels like she’s growing as a woman and person, she will be happier and healthier – so will your entire family.
Write a mission statement: Take the time to write the expectations for your marriage and family. Sitting down and sharing goals is an extremely intimate experience. Deciding where to take your family together is the first step in getting where you’ve always wanted to go.
Renew your wedding vows: You can’t do this one often, but it’s guaranteed to carry a lot of capital when you do!
Ask your wife about her fears: Find out what makes her most insecure. This might even be uncomfortable, but only for a bit, and true intimacy is sometimes built by asking tough questions. Schedule a romantic dinner. Then ask what makes her sad and listen to her every word. Offer suggestions when appropriate, but it’s most important to simply listen.
Alleviate her fears: Find ways to alleviate her fears and insecurities. Use your new knowledge to help your wife find a better outlook. Let her know you are there to put her first and protect her forever.
Put her first: Value your wife above everyone else and make sure she knows how you feel. Your friends will always be around, your parents are family, but your wife should feel like she’s the most important person in your orbit.
Court her: Remember how easy intimacy seemed before you said, “I do!” Intimacy doesn’t end after you get married, but it’s up to you to bring it back. You’ve caught her, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t ever want to be chased.
Spend quality time together: Invite her for some quality alone time. Mark it on the calendar and don’t let anything get in the way. She deserves the attention and will appreciate having it.
Write love letters: Making your feelings permanent with ink will go a long, long way. You don’t have to be Shakespeare to express your affection. Write from your heart. She will love it.
Show her intimacy without expectation: Show her how much you love her without wanting anything in return. She will likely give you things you weren’t even asking for.
Make her feel noticed: Let her know she looks beautiful when she takes the time to look pretty. Humans crave attention, you’re wife’s no different. Pay attention when she goes the extra mile and compliment her as often as possible.
Recreate your first date: Tell your wife you’re taking her out, but don’t tell her where you’re going. You may be inhibited by time or geography, but do your best to recreate the experience of your first date together.
Take dancing lessons: Not only is this fun and intimate, taking dancing lessons together will ultimately lead to the two of you going out and practicing what you learned – then returning home electrified.

Intimacy is more than a physical desire; it’s learning who your lover is on a deeper, more emotional level; discovering her interests and affections, and learning to appreciate the same things, at least on some level.

Take a month, try some of these ideas.

See how much more there is to learn about the person you thought could no longer surprise you.

Intimacy is a process, not an event, and it doesn’t end with marriage. Find it and you’ve found the golden goose that will lay golden eggs forever.

Sean Platt is a happy dad and ghostwriter who helps good writers make a great living. Follow him on Twitter.

(photo source)

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8 Simple Reasons to Move the TV Out of the Bedroom

Written by Corey · 17 Comments

Post written by Corey Allan.

I’ve written a couple of times about our life with and without TV.

For a couple of years now, my wife and I have gone a month each year without TV, and we even planned on this last go round being permanent.

Quick update … it didn’t last.

But one thing that did happen from our last stint without TV, we got rid of the TV in our bedroom.

And since we’ve noticed the differences this change has made, I can’t see us ever having a set in our room again.

Here’s 8 simple reasons why:

More and better sleep. Americans watch over 35 hours of television per week, which says to me the lure of the screen is simply too strong. I’m willing to bet that no one sets out to spend 5 hours a day watching television. But the temptation of the thing is too great… especially when we are tired. Not only does television in the bedroom keep us up later at night, but there are also studies that indicate watching television before bed actually disrupts sleep cycles. Removing the television from your bedroom an you can get more sleep … and better sleep.
More conversations. Some of the best conversations occur with your spouse during the waning parts of the day. You can simply sit and talk. You can prepare for the next day together. You can connect. That is, of course, unless the TV is on.
Less clutter. A TV takes up a lot of space. It also attracts a lot of dust (all electronics do). Get rid of the thing and declutter your room. I’ve stated this before, nothing can ruin romance faster than clutter.
Reserve your room for two things. Every room in your home has a purpose. Keep the master bedroom’s purpose down to two things … sleep and sex. Don’t pay bills on the bed. Don’t have arguments in the room. Treat your room as a special room and see what happens to the spirit and energy of your marriage.
Life is meant to be lived … not watched. It is far too easy to fall into the trap of watching other people live and not living yourself. Top this off with the fact the people and the stories you’re watching aren’t even real. It sets you up for unrealistic expectations and disappointment. Connect with those you live with. Talk. Love. Plan. Dream. Then live it!
Set a better example for your children. Our kids are sponges. They are also robots (to a degree). Meaning, they follow our lead, whether we like it or not. If I spend my time lost in my shows, what do you think they’ll want to do? By limiting the number of TV’s in your home and reducing the amount of time to watch it, you can lessen the amount of outside influence on your family. Please don’t come at me with the thought that advertising doesn’t affect you … it absolutely does. The human psyche is easily swayed by outside enticements. A quick side note: Children with televisions in their bedrooms score lower on school tests and are more likely to have sleep problems.Plus, having a TV in the bedroom is strongly associated with being overweight and a higher risk for smoking. Enough said.
More reading. For many people, reading will help you get to sleep faster. Even if you’re not one of them, reading is better for your brain than TV. It access the creative centers of your brain more, it requires you to stretch and learn more, and the benefits of reading far outweigh the benefits of TV.
More sex. Surely you knew this one would be on the list. Couples who have a TV in the bedroom have sex half as often as those who don’t. Do the math … to me, it’s a no brainer.

Try it out. There’s a lot of upside to this, even if you only experiment with it. Here’s just a few: 18 Good Reasons to Get Rid of TV, 11 Reasons to Ditch Your Television, and 4 Simple Reasons to Sell Your TV.

What’s your thought?

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