Comments for Simple Marriage http://www.simplemarriage.net Experiments in relationship design. Sat, 04 Jul 2009 06:38:52 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8 hourly 1 Comment on How To Keep Arguments From Escalating by LinkO-the O Say Can You See Version — Burning Bushes http://www.simplemarriage.net/how-to-keep-arguments-from-escalating.html/comment-page-1#comment-3825 LinkO-the O Say Can You See Version — Burning Bushes Sat, 04 Jul 2009 06:38:52 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=2145#comment-3825 [...] Put on the Brakes This is a great post about how to slow down the argument cycle with your spouse.  But, honestly, the approach is true for most relationships. [...] [...] Put on the Brakes This is a great post about how to slow down the argument cycle with your spouse.  But, honestly, the approach is true for most relationships. [...]

]]> Comment on How To Self-Soothe Your Way To More In Marriage by Corey http://www.simplemarriage.net/how-to-self-soothe-your-way-to-more-in-marriage.html/comment-page-1#comment-3821 Corey Fri, 03 Jul 2009 18:20:55 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=2222#comment-3821 The truth is we all medicate and soothe in some form or fashion. I'm a great lover of cookies, but if I must run to them every time my anxiety spikes, I'll likely not be running to fast carrying all the added pounds. The same applies to anything else we use, healthy or not. When I must use something outside myself (besides God - although I believe He resides within us as well as around us) in order to soothe my anxieties, I set up a potential problem. What happens when my Ipod isn't around, the art gallery is closed, or the candles are all gone? I still need to turn inward and face the anxiety within - it's still the best way to grow up and emotionally mature. The truth is we all medicate and soothe in some form or fashion. I’m a great lover of cookies, but if I must run to them every time my anxiety spikes, I’ll likely not be running to fast carrying all the added pounds. The same applies to anything else we use, healthy or not. When I must use something outside myself (besides God – although I believe He resides within us as well as around us) in order to soothe my anxieties, I set up a potential problem. What happens when my Ipod isn’t around, the art gallery is closed, or the candles are all gone? I still need to turn inward and face the anxiety within – it’s still the best way to grow up and emotionally mature.

]]> Comment on How To Self-Soothe Your Way To More In Marriage by Woodson http://www.simplemarriage.net/how-to-self-soothe-your-way-to-more-in-marriage.html/comment-page-1#comment-3820 Woodson Fri, 03 Jul 2009 16:25:25 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=2222#comment-3820 Great article!!! Keep up the great job!!! I love these... very helpful!!! Great article!!!

Keep up the great job!!!

I love these… very helpful!!!

]]> Comment on Ask The Readers: What The Difference Between A Good Marriage And A Great Marriage? by Michelle http://www.simplemarriage.net/ask-the-readers-what-the-difference-between-a-good-marriage-and-a-great-marriage.html/comment-page-1#comment-3818 Michelle Fri, 03 Jul 2009 15:36:27 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=2243#comment-3818 A good marriage: Good: Reliable and Sure Can be seen as two people who are well suited and maybe rarely disagree. It is a relationship that comes easy and hasn’t suffered very much hardship or struggle. I’m not saying they do not have the opportunity to have a great marriage but their time together has been a relatively smooth road to travel which hasn’t tested their ability to work together under an enormous amount of pressure. A great marriage: Great: Powerful and Influential Is two people who have faced struggle, heartbreak and hardship together. Marriages that survive lots of adversity become great because you develop an inherent ability to support each other through whatever struggles come your way. Partners in a great marriage have learned how to communicate effectively when the stakes are high; they’ve learned to fight fair and they’ve learned to compromise for the greater good without feeling anger and resentment for not getting their way. These spouses recognize when the stake is higher for their partner and may concede because it is less important for them to “win” than for their partner to be happy. People in a great marriage also know that it takes work to keep their marriage strong and healthy and invest time and energy into it. A good marriage:
Good: Reliable and Sure
Can be seen as two people who are well suited and maybe rarely disagree. It is a relationship that comes easy and hasn’t suffered very much hardship or struggle. I’m not saying they do not have the opportunity to have a great marriage but their time together has been a relatively smooth road to travel which hasn’t tested their ability to work together under an enormous amount of pressure.

A great marriage:
Great: Powerful and Influential
Is two people who have faced struggle, heartbreak and hardship together. Marriages that survive lots of adversity become great because you develop an inherent ability to support each other through whatever struggles come your way. Partners in a great marriage have learned how to communicate effectively when the stakes are high; they’ve learned to fight fair and they’ve learned to compromise for the greater good without feeling anger and resentment for not getting their way. These spouses recognize when the stake is higher for their partner and may concede because it is less important for them to “win” than for their partner to be happy. People in a great marriage also know that it takes work to keep their marriage strong and healthy and invest time and energy into it.

]]> Comment on Taking Your Shape: Focusing on the How Instead of the What by The Art Of Marital Conversation http://www.simplemarriage.net/taking-your-shape-focusing-on-the-how-instead-of-the-what.html/comment-page-1#comment-3816 The Art Of Marital Conversation Fri, 03 Jul 2009 12:55:11 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=775#comment-3816 [...] are necessary parts of every relationship (for more information on this subject check out this post or this Ebook, The Simple Marriage [...] [...] are necessary parts of every relationship (for more information on this subject check out this post or this Ebook, The Simple Marriage [...]

]]> Comment on The Simple Answer to a Lasting Marriage by Are you making these marriage mistakes? http://www.simplemarriage.net/the-simple-answer-to-a-lasting-marriage.html/comment-page-1#comment-3815 Are you making these marriage mistakes? Fri, 03 Jul 2009 12:54:17 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/the-simple-answer-to-a-lasting-marriage.html#comment-3815 [...] written before about the marriage killers as well as the secret to a lasting marriage, but how the mistakes we make in marriage are addressed is key to improving your relationship. [...] [...] written before about the marriage killers as well as the secret to a lasting marriage, but how the mistakes we make in marriage are addressed is key to improving your relationship. [...]

]]> Comment on A Simple Marriage by What's Wrong and How Do We Fix It? http://www.simplemarriage.net/looking-for-more-passion-and-adventure/comment-page-1#comment-3814 What's Wrong and How Do We Fix It? Fri, 03 Jul 2009 12:52:08 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?page_id=1147#comment-3814 [...] in learning more about this? Pick up a copy of A Simple Marriage. AKPC_IDS += "1912,";Popularity: 8% [?] Share and [...] [...] in learning more about this? Pick up a copy of A Simple Marriage. AKPC_IDS += "1912,";Popularity: 8% [?] Share and [...]

]]> Comment on Flooding – Stop to Start by How To Keep Arguments From Escalating http://www.simplemarriage.net/flooding-stop-to-start.html/comment-page-1#comment-3813 How To Keep Arguments From Escalating Fri, 03 Jul 2009 12:51:07 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=1341#comment-3813 [...] more, check out How To Fight in Marriage and the idea of the physiological response to a perceived threat – Flooding. If you are currently in negative override, How to Say I’m Sorry will be worth the read [...] [...] more, check out How To Fight in Marriage and the idea of the physiological response to a perceived threat – Flooding. If you are currently in negative override, How to Say I’m Sorry will be worth the read [...]

]]> Comment on How to Have an Affair… With Your Spouse. by Allan http://www.simplemarriage.net/how-to-have-an-affair-with-your-spouse.html/comment-page-1#comment-3812 Allan Fri, 03 Jul 2009 04:57:03 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/how-to-have-an-affair-with-your-spouse.html#comment-3812 @ Eric I have to disagree somewhat there: One thing that kills a relationship is believing you are 'good enough' , since your mate already loves you. I can imagine finding out I really liked my wife with blonde hair (she having worn a wig for our 'affair' date) or she finding that I really like her in shorts and sandals (she usually wearing skirts at home). I can see it injecting a bit of the unknown into a relationship that might be on the verge of stale. We often forget, as we become more and more familiar, to compliment honestly (or over-honestly, in fact) I recall reading an article a few years back, by a partner in a couple who mentioned that when they were newlyweds, the wife would shower twice a day and he would shave twice. Things moved downhill quickly, until one day they realized they were sitting on the couch eating popcorn and picking their noses. They both had this realization at the same time. This led to the thought of going back to their 'dating' behaviors, such as dressing up just to watch TV together, and keeping nose-picking private. (My wife, while a wonderful woman, tends to be loudly flatulent at times, which can be rather...surprising when I'm trying to make eyes at her, for example) @ Eric
I have to disagree somewhat there: One thing that kills a relationship is believing you are ‘good enough’ , since your mate already loves you. I can imagine finding out I really liked my wife with blonde hair (she having worn a wig for our ‘affair’ date) or she finding that I really like her in shorts and sandals (she usually wearing skirts at home). I can see it injecting a bit of the unknown into a relationship that might be on the verge of stale. We often forget, as we become more and more familiar, to compliment honestly (or over-honestly, in fact)

I recall reading an article a few years back, by a partner in a couple who mentioned that when they were newlyweds, the wife would shower twice a day and he would shave twice. Things moved downhill quickly, until one day they realized they were sitting on the couch eating popcorn and picking their noses. They both had this realization at the same time. This led to the thought of going back to their ‘dating’ behaviors, such as dressing up just to watch TV together, and keeping nose-picking private. (My wife, while a wonderful woman, tends to be loudly flatulent at times, which can be rather…surprising when I’m trying to make eyes at her, for example)

]]> Comment on Ask The Readers: What The Difference Between A Good Marriage And A Great Marriage? by Lindsey http://www.simplemarriage.net/ask-the-readers-what-the-difference-between-a-good-marriage-and-a-great-marriage.html/comment-page-1#comment-3811 Lindsey Thu, 02 Jul 2009 22:45:06 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=2243#comment-3811 I think a great marriage is all about Unity. Being united in purpose can help ease tensions during difficult times, as well as keep you from focusing on petty problems. It still allows each person to be an individual while working toward common goals. While I personally believe that a truly great marriage must be Christ-centered, there are a lot of non-Christian marriages that are good examples of unity. I think a great marriage is all about Unity. Being united in purpose can help ease tensions during difficult times, as well as keep you from focusing on petty problems. It still allows each person to be an individual while working toward common goals. While I personally believe that a truly great marriage must be Christ-centered, there are a lot of non-Christian marriages that are good examples of unity.

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