Could Too Much Sex Negatively Impact Your Marriage?
photo credit: karpov the wrecked train
If there is one topic that repeatedly gets the most buzz it’s sex. I’ve written on this topic several times thus far and I’ve always tried to approach the subject honestly.
One of the issues argued about in marriage may be the frequency of sex. The words too little or too much are often thrown around in this discussion. Regardless of which camp you find yourself, have you stopped to consider the impact the frequency of sex has upon your marriage?
Throughout the years there have been numerous research studies on the subject. Most notably beginning with Alfred Kinsey and his colleagues who surveyed over 11,000 men and women covering a wide variety of sexual issues, including how often they had sex. They discovered that young married couples tended to have sex approximately twice weekly.
Twenty years later Morton Hunt reported slightly higher frequencies of a little over 3 times per week on average. Several studies on sexual frequency in marriage have revealed that this number decreases as the marriage progresses.
Most recently a study in 2003 revealed that people engage in sex once per week. But in 2007, researchers from the University of Minnesota investigated the impact frequency of sex in marriage has on overall marital satisfaction.
They discovered that couples who had sex on average 4 times per year reported an overall higher level of marital satisfaction than did those couples in the average sexual frequency range. The reasons for this finding:
We think that couples who have sex less frequently than the norm have lessened the amount of time spent arguing over their sex life and more time accepting each other for who they are. Thus freeing their time to spend on other pursuits like careers, parenting, travel and the like.
So what’s your reaction to their findings?
For me, two things come up.
First, perhaps there’s merit to focusing less on your sex life and more on the other areas you seek to improve.
And second, realizing that today is April 1st, I hope you don’t buy any of the last half of this post as actual truth. There is no such 2007 study nor is the University of Minnesota associated with any study of this kind. April fools! Enjoy your day.
Corey is the editor of Simple Marriage as well as a licensed marriage & family therapist. While he has a Ph.D. in Family Therapy, he only occasionally likes to be called doctor. If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe so you don't miss any future posts.21 Responses to “Could Too Much Sex Negatively Impact Your Marriage?”
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Nice job. You totally had me fooled till the end. I was thinking, ‘what in the world?’
So my comment was going to be “Whaaa??? Did you mean to say “4 times per week” instead of “4 times per year”????? Four times per year??? Good grief. Yup. You got me too.
DANG! You totally got me. Damn. I was so hoping it was true.
)
Researchers would not say “we think”. I knew right then something was afoot. Researchers would say “research indicates”…
Good one! Totally had me going
You totally got me. I’m so gullible.
You rascal! I totally bought your post. I couldn’t believe that the average went up Twenty years later to 3/week and would DECREASE as the marriage progresses. I was about to ask if you thought their studies were valid.
Thank God!!! I was about to fall out of my chair! I’ll make sure my husband doesn’t read it! He might not read all the way to the end! EEK!
You got me! I was falling for it and getting ready to argue.
Damn! You totally got me there. I was thinking, “This is INSANE! There’s no WAY those people are happy!”
I’ve been waiting for someone to pull a good April Fools joke. Thanks for the laugh!
Man I ALWAYS fall for this stuff!
Heh. This is my favorite April Fool’s today. Four times per year. Yikes!
Yeah I was thinking how many men lied on that study and said that they were okay with having sex 4 times a year! (Women too!)
Had me there. A real survey like that would have made serious headlines…and made a lot of people scratch their heads in disbelief.
So we’re back to the same frequency-of-sex argument that men and women have been having since the beginning of time…
Every day is a bit much, how about every other day?
Best laugh I’ve had all day!
good one lol
Frequency of sex is definitely important. Our clinical director recently posted information that would completely counter that study (if it existed
). More frequent sex is good for a couple’s relationship and their health.
Having read this NOT on April Fools I was COMPLETELY taken in . . . and thinking to myself huh? really? um, okay . . . maybe that could make sense. Huh . . . Oh! it’s a joke! Good one. Fooled me.
Wife and i have been married 43 years to each other. the love still flows under our roof. i will not discuss our sex life, but i will say we still have eyes only for each other. read between the lines. all i can say is this: “ain’t love grand when you have found your soulmate for life” we have been blessed.
I try to get a serious answer and all I got was a doctor who plays games. Nice work doc… A hole… One of the only things in this life that is free to enjoy with your spouse, Is there any harm? Could I die from too much? I didn’t think so. I bet more married people brake up because of it. Why do women fight so hard against it? Five minutes and we can both get some sleep!!! I would do anything for my spouse, cheating on them will only destroy the love you thought you had. I would rather sleep in the spare room and maybe she would either understand my needs, or enjoy being alone..God gave us something so amazing and we hord it.. You can’t take it with you when you die.. thanks for your help doc..