Dreamlining your life
Vast amounts of money are spent by almost every country in border protection, although I never could confirm how much Greenland spends. Regardless, border protection is a big deal. It will be one of the issues discussed at length during next year’s presidential race. How much do we spend on our own borders? While the amount spent on border decoration and beautification is quite large, what is it all for if we don’t protect what is most valuable and dear to us?Learning how to say “no” is the first line of defense when it comes to staying on purpose and following your dreams. When your days are topsy-turvy and you are pulled in all different directions, it most likely is due to a lack of an overriding purpose in life. In order to help discover this purpose, refer back to the dreams you had as a child. They did not go away just because you’ve grown up into adulthood. These childhood dreams still have an impact on us today. They produce a longing, a desire to go or do something, a dream of being something.
Now, it may be impractical for you to seek childhood dream fulfillment, then again, it may not. It’s important to incorporate these longings and dreams as you set your goals and purpose for today. Since these dreams still influence us today, it seems more appropriate to state that today’s goals are uncovered, not just created.
When our goals for today are aligned with our core values and dreams, a tremendous amount of energy and momentum is discovered. Life makes sense. Things are effortless. I experienced this during this last weekend when I got to be with my wife for a weekend without the kids. We went all over the place. Bowling, eating out, the rodeo, a friend’s party, sleeping late. While this weekend was a bit of an anomaly, it did align itself with one of my wife and I’s core values; our marriage. So how do you hold on to weekends like this when the work week invades?
Step one requires you to know and continue to follow your purpose and dreams. For most people, work will be a necessity all their life, but it does not have to completely dominate your life. If you dread your job that much, it may be time to find a different one. Step two would require you to sit down and plan out a “dreamline.” Map out what you want to have and/or experience in life 3 months from now, 6 months from now, and/or a year from now (don’t go beyond a year, it’s too far out to sustain today’s momentum). Simply knowing and working towards a goal or dream 6 months from now can make working today more appealing. Step three; protect the steps and the progress of your dreamline with your life. Give up the things that don’t fit in with these dreams, say “no” to the things that will steer you off course.
Imagine your dreamline as your compass. Refer to it often. It will guide you where you want to go.
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Corey is the editor of Simple Marriage as well as a licensed marriage & family therapist. While he has a Ph.D. in Family Therapy, he only occasionally likes to be called doctor. If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe so you don't miss any future posts.8 Responses to “Dreamlining your life”
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Step One: follow your purpose and your dreams. I need Vanna to buy a clue for the purpose thing. I could go the Jesus route and say that my purpose is to be a light for God. I believe that is true but I’m not sure that is the kind of purpose you’re talking about here. Are you? Otherwise I don’t know my purpose. What kind of things makes for purpose?
My dreams have to do with getting back to nature in the log cabin as I have mentioned before.
Step Two: What I want to have or experience in up to a year. Hum. I would like a jewelry case. That was trivial because I really don’t won’t anything material. What I want is all about personal growth. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin. I want to feel competent as an individual, a wife (lover), and a professional. I want to be able to travel without freaking out and feeling like a child. I want to feel grown up. I’d rather have that than the jewelry case any day. Are these really dreams? What would be dreams?
Step Three: Protect the steps to your dream….OK.
I think dreams and purpose are important. They give you a reason to be. They give you drive. They bring joy and fulfillment. I think many people, myself included, either lose focus or don’t even get that far, because of other distractions in life. Bad things happen. I think the trick is to figure out how to not let the distractions in life be a roadblock or detour to our dreams and purpose. Easier said than done. If you get a chance, I would like you to respond to my questions above. Until then, dream on.
Obviously being a light for God would be a big purpose, but that is not all I am talking about here. What are some of the things you want to experience or be while on this earth? It’s ok to enjoy God’s creation and things, that’s what they are for in my book. Do you want to help people, climb the highest peak on each continent, read a good book at sunset every day? Anything goes here. Design the life you want.
Your traveling desire would be an appropriate dream. So go for it. What’s in the way? If you look around, most likely the only thing in the way is yourself. To borrow a phrase from a good friend; Life your life as though your life depends on it.
My first thought is no, that’s what other people do, not me. I’m not in that league. I don’t do that stuff. I don’t travel to places outside of my reach, I don’t do risky things, I fit the mold of what is expected. I stay safe. I can hear you now, “EEK!” (My secret, I don’t want to be this way. Shhh, don’t tell.)
What do I want? Freedom. I want freedom to enjoy and explore. I want to enjoy and explore me, the important people in my life, and the world. But thinking about doing this brings about two thoughts, 1. That’s not me. I don’t do that or maybe not allowed to do that, 2. It’s scary, very, very scary. I’m not sure why.
My default is to “turtle up”. Not a lot of exploring done in a shell. But something holds my head down in there. The anxiety is pretty intense.
So what would the freedom look like? I don’t know. I have to work. I have to live within my means. I have to wash clothes, and make dinner and take care of my kids. I also have to consider a husband and his thoughts on life. But I may be letting these things keep me from taking the steps. I’m sure there is a balance but how to reach it is unclear. There is also the safety factor. While I am exploring myself and my relationship with my husband, I know I am not where I want to be. But I am not exploring the world much. Maybe that will come. I want it to but can I do it? I think I can if it is in steps. I wish I had a do-over.
The great thing is, you get a do-over everyday. It starts by coming out of your shell when you normally feel the need to turtle-up.
So I’ve been thinking about addictions. Addictions can mess with the pursuit of your dream if they are harmful. But other addictions don’t seem so bad. Are all addictions a bad thing? So if you were addicted to reading books, what makes that a bad thing? When is it more than a hobby? Why is it bad?
So tell me what is the whole addiction thing about? Let’s say counseling, what would make someone addicted to counseling? Why would it be a bad thing? It seems harmless enough. Why would you need to break it? I don’t see how that would affect pursuing your dream in a negative way. It seems like it would help it.