I believe everybody has their own individual thoughts and views on pornography. Most men that I know like pornography because they can use it to have sex with other women in their heads, and that makes them not want to have sex with their parteners. Don’t say that I don’t know what I’m talking about either. I have many writings about my husbands friends and their relationships with their wives. They come to me and tell me that I’m the only one they can talk to about what’s going on and it started with pornography.

After they birthed children, the men’s wives did not want to have sex as much as they did before and when they were pregnant, so they turned to pornography to gain the sexual pleasure they needed. They had all the love and attention they could get from their wives inbetween the women caring for the children, which the husbands wouldn’t do in the first place. So, not only did they expect the women to have sex with regularily, they expected them to be up and down with their infants every night, work outside of the home, and take care of them as well. All of this started happening AFTER pornography was introduced in the home.

I’m not just speaking for the other couples either, this is my own life story as well. After I birthed my little girl, my sex drive went somewhere else for about 2 years. In the time that my child was still an infant, my husband started to watch pornography. Before he started to watch pornography, he was a wonderful father and partener to me. He helped me at night by changing clothing and we daipers while I breastfed every 2 hours. Granted, he went to work also (a hard labor job), so took over taking care of the baby and house work. We had a great partenership, but our sex life was lacking. I told him that sexual intercourse hurt me so he went and purchased hardcore pornography behind my back. He didn’t use pornography to bring our sexual intamcy back together, he hid it from me and sometime later, I figured out why.

He wanted the pornography because of his sexual fantasy that he couldn’t get at home. The trouble is, he never told me. So far he’s spent more than a hundred dollars on this type of hard core pornography and continues to spend.

Now our relationship is in a wreck. He’s always angry with me, no matter if we have the kind of sex he wants or not. He never takes care of his daughter. He wants me to take care of him, the child, and the house while I work. He see’s me as an object during sex. He thinks my body is disgusting, yet I’m down to the same size as when we first me, and wishes I was skinnier and had bigger breasts. He wants me to preform the violent and dangerous sex acts that he sees on the pornography. He wants to have multiple parteners and expects me to stay with him while he’s doing these things. He won’t seek coulseling with me and expects me to stay with him while he’s going out and having sex with other women.

He hasn’t done it yet, but he’s paying hundreds of dollars a year at a booty call website on top of the pornography he buys. If he didn’t buy all these things, we could have had a better relationship and a better life together, but now it’s worse. Now he’s unemployed but yet he continues to spend our savings on pornography.

You people don’t know what your talking about because pornography has never ruined your personal relationships but has ruined mine and the relationships of the two females’ that I have been talking to and writing about. I’m very disappointed with the fact that so many people, MEN and WOMEN alike, don’t understand that porn CAN ruin marital intimacy, but the fact that not only do they don’t understand but DO NOT CARE as well, makes me disgusted to think I came from the same primordial soup as everybody else.

I’m disappointed in the husbands more than anyone else because they can’t see how great they have it with women who care so much about them, and how much their wives are trying to get their attention and have a great intimate relationship with them.

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You also might like this guest post on my blog from Mark Gaither. Really interesting take on how women see pornography:
http://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/2009/07/27/is-porn-the-same-as-adultery/

My husband and I have watched porn together…. we had some hotter sex, yes, but it also felt a little more empty to me… something was missing. The intimacy wasn’t there. It felt a bit like some of the one night stands I had in my single days. It scratched an itch but felt superficial.

My other problem is that I figured out that lots of young men seem to get their sex training from watching porn. Unfortuneatly, a lot of what the movies show turning a woman inside out with ectasy doesn’t actually work as well in real life. I base this observation on a couple relationships and discussions with girl friends. We all have had to break husbands or boyfriends of at least one or two “tricks” they picked up from porn.