How the Inca Trail is Like Marriage
In Peru there’s a trail you can hike from the city of Cusco to the Sacred City of Machu Picchu. Known as the Inca Trail, it’s often referred to as a legendary hike.
Early into the beginning of the hike, there’s a fork in the trail. If you go right, the city of Machu Picchu is only 6 hours of walking a path alongside a river. This way was actually the commercial route to the city. If you had goods to sell or deliver to the city you’d follow this path.
Every one else traveling to the city would take the fork to the left. This path was 26 miles long, it would take you four days to walk over four mountain passes. This trail doesn’t have switchbacks, instead there are stairs going straight up and down the mountains… about nine miles of stairs.
The reason visitors to the city were to take the long route was so they would value the city. It’s human nature that when we work hard to earn something, we value it more.
The trail takes you along some beautiful scenery. You climb up and over “Dead Woman’s Pass” which tops out over 13,800 feet. But on day four of your journey, if you awaken before sunrise you can hike to the Sun Gate and watch the sun rise over the ancient city. Then travel into the city and take in it’s beauty.
I once listened to a guy describe his journey on the trail and how it was one of the most difficult things he’s ever done. But he also described walking around in the city along with other tourist’s who’d traveled in by train, all of them seeing the same sights but having vastly different experiences than him due to their journey to the city.
The point is the journey.
Marriage is the same. The goal of marriage is not to arrive some place – the goal is to journey together. The destination can be to wherever you decide, but the goal is to travel it together.
Sure it’s work, sure there are times when it seems that what lay ahead is nine miles of stairs, but when you travel the path, you appreciate and value the relationship all the more.
Conflict and struggle change you. Conflict and struggle are transformative. You become a better person when you travel down this path.
It’s what takes a marriage from good to great. From routine to passionate. From… you get the idea.
Photo courtesy Matito
Corey is the editor of Simple Marriage as well as a licensed marriage & family therapist. While he has a Ph.D. in Family Therapy, he only occasionally likes to be called doctor. If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe so you don't miss any future posts.5 Responses to “How the Inca Trail is Like Marriage”
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I know the path I traveled was a difficult journey that brought me to a place that I would have never gotten to otherwise. A place where I could live in a marriage more fully alive. A place where I felt more passion and authenticity. A place where….well, you get the idea.
It was totally worth it!
I think this is a beautiful metaphor for marriage. It really isn’t about reaching some far off place — just enjoying the time together, and knowing you are together in this, as you say, journey. Thanks for the post.
What a beautiful metaphor and story. Thank you for that. I would add that one of the most important factors is that you and your partner are in-sync about the journey – so it doesnt matter whether you take the 9-miles of stairs, or the 6-mile shorter route, but that you agree to walk it together and make the best of it through the challenges. Don’t regret your choices or blame your partner if the journey has a few snakes or blisters along the way.