Comments on: How To Keep Arguments From Escalating

By: Reader

Reader — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 06:58:58 +0000

but then it becomes one person being nasty toward another, even if the person doesn’t argue back

By: Successful second marriage

Successful second marriage — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 21:21:12 +0000

[...] How To Keep Arguments From Escalating | Simple Marriage Jun 28, 2009. That's a key part of having a successful, useful interaction be it argument or calm discussion. My second marriage (5 1/2 years so far) is How To Keep Arguments From Escalating | Simple Marriage [...]

By: RAYMOND

RAYMOND — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 15:13:13 +0000

hints and tips on this subject please, i feel that its about to end! and we argue constantly about every small thing, its so frequent that i can time it when its about to happen.must we accept that its time to move on and be greatful that we knew each other, or must do something better ?

By: LinkO-the O Say Can You See Version — Burning Bushes

LinkO-the O Say Can You See Version — Burning Bushes — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 06:38:52 +0000

[...] Put on the Brakes This is a great post about how to slow down the argument cycle with your spouse. But, honestly, the approach is true for most relationships. [...]

By: Tom

Tom — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 22:03:17 +0000

I’ve been in two marriages. The first one ( 9 years) was the type where I could not win any arguments, or have much hope of de-fusing them without first going through hours of listening to my wife go on and on about whatever issue was gnawing at her at the moment. There was no discussion with her, because in her mind, we were never on equal ground.

That’s a key part of having a successful, useful interaction be it argument or calm discussion.

My second marriage (5 1/2 years so far) is good in that if we ever do get into an argument, it’s easy for either one of us to de-fuse it, and neither of us walks away feeling rotten.

The techniques are only as effective as the foundation of the marriage, and that’s only as strong as BOTH of you have decided to make it.

By: Paul Maurice Martin

Paul Maurice Martin — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 01:19:30 +0000

And it seems to me there’s a cycle there. That is, lots of little “brake failures” can undermine the foundation. But if a couple experiences making lots of successful repairs, that’s a confidence-builder and strengthens the foundation.

By: Bob (not my real name)

Bob (not my real name) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 01:03:45 +0000

Laurie, This sounds sort of like how I feel, but I’m on the receiving end as well. I sit and listen, but then I get in trouble for sitting and listening. I have tried time-limiting the events, but that is terribly ineffective. The arguments never make any progress, but I get blamed for that too (for being too silent).

As I said above, not matter what approach I take, the argument will escalate into a 2 or 3 hour ordeal. It’s like I just have no say in the matter; she wants to argue, so we argue. It’s very frustrating. And we have what I consider a good (new) marriage.

By: Laurie

Laurie — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 00:52:42 +0000

Sounds like some great things to think about and implement. I’m practicing sticking out my tongue now. LOL!

I have a friend whose hub will go on for HOURS yelling and arguing at her. She just sits and listens. I think I would give him 10 minutes to express himself and then it would have to stop. The arguments never make any progress. Any other suggestions to someone who misses a ton of sleep being yelled at?

By: Nikki

Nikki — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 23:46:43 +0000

This is something that works for my husband and I. There are times when one of us will do that and the other doesn’t find it funny.

By: Heather

Heather — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 14:52:16 +0000

I love the thought of having something silly set in place for just this purpose. I’m sure there’s something that my husband would easily cue into. I will have to ponder on this one. . .