How to unplug from cyber space and plug into marriage.
There are many things of which a wise man might wish to be ignorant.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking. ~Albert Einstein
If you are like me, you spent a good deal of your day with your computer on, Outlook (or whatever email server you use) running in the background, several browser screens going throughout the day, as well as a Word document or two and maybe even some Excel spreadsheets thrown in for good measure. Yet, even with all this “work” open, I can waste a day with the best of them. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that I will also have music playing and/or the TV on as well. I am thoroughly immersed in noise and distraction. And most of this noise is negative and overblown. Don’t believe me, watch your local news and tell me what you see.
In 2008, I am committing to an information fast. I am going to unplug from most of the information sources I have sought and seek to spend more time with family, friends, or outside. This actually started on a smaller scale about two months ago, which was the last time I watched a local news broadcast.
What I am proposing is an information diet. This starts with employing some selective ignorance. When I take more charge of my personal life and my family life, I don’t need to know as much about what others are doing. I become more concerned about what I am doing. This produces action. Many times my wife and I have had the discussion about not enjoying a particular season or phase of life. What breaks us free from this gloominess is action. Life and relationship design is about massive action.
If you are interested in producing more action as you design your relationship and unplug from the cyber information world, here are a few suggestions:
Take an inventory of the information and noise sources you consume each day. Rate them each as necessary, irrelevant to your goals, negative, or beyond your concern. Be honest. I will bet that much of the information you consume is in the latter three categories.
The next step is to unplug from all but the necessary. Focus on consuming only the information important for you and your family’s goals each day. Then pull the plug on these sources everyday at a set time, say 7 PM, in order to spend time with your spouse and family. This includes business and personal emails, phone calls, time wasting TV shows, etc. Let voicemail do its job. Save your correspondence until the next day, then take a focused hour and get it all done. With the time you will free up by unplugging, do something together. Go to bed early, talk, play legos with your kids. Trust me, the information you may miss when you unplug isn’t that important anyway. If there is something that is truly an emergency, you’ll hear about it. But the time you spend with your family and marriage is worth it. It will produce more action, which will generate more energy, which will allow more freedom to design the relationship and family you desire.
When it comes to information, less is more. Focusing on what matters and what is in line with your values and goals then will change your life.
Corey is the editor of Simple Marriage as well as a licensed marriage & family therapist. While he has a Ph.D. in Family Therapy, he only occasionally likes to be called doctor. If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe so you don't miss any future posts.3 Responses to “How to unplug from cyber space and plug into marriage.”
Comments
Read below or add a comment...
One of the best things I ever did was stop watching TV. There was more trash on than anything else. That freed up so much of my time. I read a lot more. (I’m not sure I like your Einstein quote). I read things to learn about myself. I read things to help me grow personally and spiritually. With us being in the midst of the political season, I am thrilled to miss all that mess. NO commercials, no slander. It’s great.
When I read your post I thought of a horse. Yes a horse. When you want to control a horse, you put blinders on it so that it is not distracted by the world around it. It is easier to control a horse with blinders. I think when we put on our blinders (blinders being focus on TV and news sources, internet, email, etc) we miss what is going on around us. We bombard ourselves with what others tell us to think and how to live. We end up giving up our core values because we are inundated with the values of someone in a studio or behind a keyboard and we start taking on their values and letting ours slip away.
I do like to listen to the radio but I listen to things that are more spiritual. I listen to Christian music and speakers.
I have to watch the internet. I just spent 30 minutes looking at “doggie boots” I know, kind of a waste of time.
Well, the hubby just walked in so I’m going to unplug with you and plug into him for a while. He is more electrifying! he he he….
:O) :O) (that deserves two smily faces!)
Very interesting…especially at work, it is so easy for me to get distracted by useless chatter, facts spewed around the office from the daily newspaper, and people reading things out loud from the Web. Not to mention all the time I spend on the Web during the day. No wonder my eyesight is going! Will take your admonishment to become more conscious about what technology/noise/useless information sources are using up my time. And go on a diet!
I’ve done this same thing over the last few months, and it’s helped a lot. I’m happier and more social. I would recommend any could ensure that they’re spending together time without distractions like the Internet, video games, books, or anything else.
To respond on Checkered Minnie’s comment about the Einstein quote, you have to remember that Einstein basically thought he had figured out how world worked, so why would be bother reading to get different perspectives on things? Either way, the quote is great in the context of this article.