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How Twitter May Tweak Your Relationships

by Corey on April 21, 2009 · 11 comments

in Relationship Design, communication, simplicity

Balancing act
Creative Commons License photo credit: prakhar

Have you ever wondered if Twitter could improve things at home? Or with your kids?

With the addition of social networks in the past few years, it’s amazing how easy it has become to stay “connected” to other people. I’m currently only on Facebook and Twitter (@simplemarriage). But with countless other avenues to use for connection, how could these mediums be used to improve, or perhaps even save your relationship with your significant other?

I realize that many people use Twitter for the networking or marketing aspect of its design. It’s a great way to generate a buzz about a product or service you can provide. It’s also a way to expand your network of influence and influencers.

But what if Tweets were used to tweak your relationships? Or your parenting?

I shall explain.

My family of origin is cursed/blessed with the gift of detail over-provide. You know what I mean, you call home to say “hello” and are given every little detail about the day/week/month, and maybe even year (that’s a long phone call). What they ate for lunch, what’s on TV, even the episode, on and on it goes.

My wife’s family on the other hand, doesn’t have this “gift” to the same degree as mine. So early on in our marriage I was often greeted with the phrase, “get to the point.”

Enter Twitter.

With a maximum of 140 characters, Tweets require the necessity of laser-like messaging. There’s no room for extraneous details.

While face to face conversations may provide a bit more connection and understanding, the extra details can get in the way. Whether both you and your significant other use Twitter for business, to connect with family, or each other, it can be a great way to improve your relationship. It may even be a way to save it.

Here’s a few ideas how:

1. Focus on what’s important.

Messages on Twitter are short and to the point, forcing you to focus on what’s most important and get to the heart of the matter between you. As a bonus, whenever I fall into the detail over-provider during face to face conversations with my wife, she can now respond with “Tweet that!”

2. Stay connected throughout the day.

With Twitter’s ability to send direct messages, this is another way to stay in touch throughout the day. You could send short messages, plan out an evening, ask them out on a date, write a poem, or simply write “I love you” 12.72 times.

3. Team parenting as a way to grow closer.

With Twitter’s DM feature you could easily connect and co-parent throughout the day as issues arise. Since children are so gifted at playing one parent off the other, tweeting is another one of many ways to combat this and stay informed as parents. Plus you’d have a record of your communication, further decreasing the likelihood of your child’s ability to twist what one of you say in order to get their way.

4. Collaborate with other parents/couples.

Now I’m not recommending that you air your family’s dirty laundry with this idea. Instead, what if you used your Twitter followers to collaborate with when it comes to date ideas? Or parenting assistance? I’ve seen several conversations on Twitter about gift ideas and ways to celebrate special occasions.

Could it be that there is a valuable resource waiting to be tapped into in order to get more out of marriage and parenting? Try a little experiment with tweeting each other and see the impact you observe in your relationship. You could even Tweet it so others could share in your experience!

Your turn- how have you used Twitter (or other social media) to improve things in your marriage and family?

ABOUT THE WRITER
Corey is the editor of Simple Marriage as well as a licensed marriage & family therapist. While he has a Ph.D. in Family Therapy, he only occasionally likes to be called doctor. If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe so you don't miss any future posts.
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{ 1 trackback }

Relational Tweeting
April 22, 2009 at 3:27 am

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Roger - A Content Life April 21, 2009 at 1:59 pm

Interesting idea!

I just joined Twitter so I’m still trying to figure it out. I currently use text messaging for some of what you describe.

Reply

2 Whitney April 21, 2009 at 3:04 pm

My husband and I use gchat for this constantly. It allows a little more conversation than Twitter and it’s nice to “talk” more throughout the day. As our son gets older, I know we’ll use that (or something that’s more current) more frequently.

Reply

3 Laurie April 21, 2009 at 4:04 pm

I like the idea of having a group to collaborate and problem solve with. A lot of the times when I am in the midst of a problem, my mind is racing and finding a good solution is difficult. Having a support group a tweet away is a wonderful idea!

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4 Chris April 21, 2009 at 4:09 pm

This is a great strategy. I think I might actually suggest it to my family that has the same issue. At the very least it underscores how important it is to be able to present and think about one’s ideas clearly and succintly. I have observed many arguments and blow ups that seemed mostly to be caused by poor understanding of the terms of the argument, and I don’t just mean that people insufficiently understood the other side’s views. We fail to understand our own views well enough too.

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5 Rhett Smith April 21, 2009 at 10:46 pm

I love this post…so great. I will be linking it at my blog.

Rhett Smith

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6 amber April 22, 2009 at 5:02 pm

Interesting post to me because the whole reason I ever started using Twitter was to help communication in my marriage.

My husband is of the “detail over-provide” variety and after he’d carry on about his day, he’d ask me how mine was. My “it was fine” answer was never satisfying for him (and rightfully so!). I started using Twitter to make notes of the interesting or unusual things that happened through the day (usually sent via SMS from my phone) and those turned into talking points for the evening. A VERY useful tool to say the least.

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7 Melanie Thomassian April 24, 2009 at 7:23 am

What an excellent concept..I really hadn’t considered using Twitter this way before.

We use G-Chat for this in our home, but I like the idea of having another way of reaching the family. Also, the Twitter group support is a fun idea.

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8 Jeff Lee April 26, 2009 at 2:53 pm

That’ a great idea. Trouble is, I don’t have access to Twitter (or the rest of the internet, really) while I’m at work.

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9 Harvey Stoppe April 28, 2009 at 7:00 am

The support group is the most interesting part of this idea to me? Any recommendations as to how one should go about acquiring one?

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10 Jacos April 29, 2009 at 5:06 am

Hi…

Very intersecting idea.. if used correctly. I haven’t tried anything like this before, but will give it a whirl…

This did not happen to me, but I have noticed this with other couples, including my brothers new 2 month old relationship. All of this happens on the platform www(dot)facebook(dot)com.

It follows sort of the same idea as Twitter, but a lot more extensively. You can upload pictures, set you relationship status and with who and so on… Now all of these couples use facebook extensively, but the results are not always so positive… Partners get upset about things said, people interacted with and old photo’s uploaded about ex – girl/boy – friends… O and they use it to spy on each other… (probably boils down to trust..)

I know this is a very brief explanation, but real question is: What guidelines, except for the above, could you give to ensure that the results are more positive and uplifting?

Thnx..!

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