Since then the phone calls stopped (over 2-3wks) until today something unexpectedly happen. My partner had an aptointment with the dentist. He left work around 3:00pm. After that he was going to head down to the apartment where we used to live to pick up some more of our stuff. I had gone 6pm so I called to catch him as I needed him to pick up something specific from the apartment. I rang the phone and no answer. So I sent him a text. Still no answer. By this time it was pushing on to 6:40 so I called once more.

He finally first thing I noticed was the background, he was out somewhere in a bar. I was surprise and embarresed that I interupted something (but I didnt know this) He had to admit that he was in a bar having a drink with a friend. I said (probably sounding upset) oh you should have warned me so that I would not have interupted your meeting. He then replied I didnt tell you because I knew you would get upset. At that point I was not happy with his comment and thought it was unfair. Because if he did not have anything to hide then he could have at least text me to say that he was busy and that there was a change of plan.

Finally he arrived home. I was in the middle of packing to go to the other apartment. I was still feeling hurt by what he had said to me over the phone as this is not the first time an incident like this happened.

Then I explained to him why I was moving by which he appeared very concerned. He explained that he met up with someone and then after several minutes of talking he admited that the person he was out drinking with was in fact this woman. I asked him did he spoke to me was it in the presence of this woman and he said yes.

I reminded him that during one of our chats he said that he would speak to this woman and explain to her about his circumstance. This could have been a phone call. But he said he was in the area at that time when the woman called him (remember I thought she had dissapeard) so he decided to drop everything to go meet her. He said it was an opportunity to tell this woman that he has a girlfriend and that he can only be a friend. I thought there was something strange about this. I started to lose my trust in my partner due to the fact that I felt he was lying some what.

He denied the fact that he was curious about this woman he hadnt seeing for years (most people are curious about people in the past) and that he felt he had to see her in person to tell her to lay off.

I dont believe him now as my instincts tells me that he had actually arranged to finally meet up with this woman especially when she lives near the dentist.

So this is the third occurance, I really dont know what to do as I dont understand why he has to be so secretive if he has nothing to hide. He tells me that he loves me and that all the things that he does is to make me happy like shopping and carrying things etc. He could bring me a wilted flower and that would probably mean more to me than buying materialistic things all the time. Then when there is a conflict he throws these things that he does in my face so to speak!

Trust in a relationship is a big thing. I’m not so sure its stable for us. I noticed things like the way he looks at another woman as if for the very first time. Sometimes I think its best that we seperate because I see future conflict caused by me not trusting him. I really dont know what to do. Our love making is sound and really improving but now I dont know what to think. Is it me he really sees or some other woman.

I feel a part of me has changed I have no more respect for this guy. Unfortunately his parents will be very dissapointed as we get on really well.

What advise can I take now…Is there a way to resolve this situation?

But I completely agree with those who say don’t do it.

As much as I believe in praising God and appreciating His creation, I don’t think my wife would praise Him along with me for the same reason. Furthermore, I don’t believe any guy can truly just look and admire without having his mind let in the naturally-occurring follow-on thoughts to creep on in. And that’s where the adultery issue hits you.

It’s a slippery slope. And I’ve slid down it way too many times.

So for me, it’s “Just Say No.” If an attractive woman happens to come into view, then as soon as my mind registers that fact my eyes are ordered to be diverted elsewhere. It’s an act of will.

You are praising God by appreciating one of His creations, so go ahead and get an eyeful. If your marriage is so weak that you’re going to dump your wife just because you saw something different, you have some big problems, brother. Strapping on some blinders and burying your head in the sand isn’t going to fix the real issue.

It’s OK to look as long as you’re just looking.

You’d be amazed at how effective that is.

Nature, God, saw fit to strap DDDs to my chest. I went through middle and high school ashamed of my body and horrified that people – men WITH their wives! – would ogle me like I wasn’t an actual person, just a walking pair of boobs. I wore big, baggy clothes and they were all men’s. I walked quickly, with my head down.

There is NO REASON that a 14 year-old should have to feel like something is wrong with her.