Man Up: Money, Sex & Power

Photo courtesy first reflection

Money money money, money. ~”For The Love of Money” by the O’Jays

The title should have gotten your attention, since most men are interested in all three of these things. If the subject matter is not of interest to you, maybe you’d prefer to check out something else.

Most of the time life places a high priority on these subjects but they are also the cause of a great deal of problems in our society. The two most common issues argued about among married couples are money and sex. I would add that power is closely tied to both issues as they are often used as sources of power in the relationship.

This post will cover the first of the three, with the remaining two to be dealt with at a later date.

The Bible tells us that the love of money is the root of all evil. Greed is responsible for many of our society’s ails. It leads to corruption, fraud, entitlements, robbery and murder.

On the home-front, the love of money can result in deception, lies, even affairs. While there are many great things money can do, it most often seems to be viewed in a negative light.

Money can be divisive. The haves and the have-nots. The upper class, lower class. Rather than looking at how much money so-and-so has, and even how much you have or don’t have, look at what is done with the money. That is where the secret to handling the power of money lies.

When you pay what you owe, give to others, and can rest at night, the power of money has been diminished. Johnny Carson stated that the only power money provides is the removal of worry about your next meal.

Whether you are wealthy beyond means or barely making it form paycheck to paycheck, here are a few principles to consider about money:

1. Give to others. Regardless of disposable income, you can give to others. Time. Friendship. Service. Assistance. Money. There is a synergy created around you when you give. Especially when you give regularly. Being involved in the lives of others helps you gain a better perspective on your own.
2. Budget. One of the best ways to handle money is 1) know exactly where your money goes, 2) set up a budget on order to plan for the the things you hope to accomplish in life, and 3) live within your budget. By setting up a budget you will be in a better position to save, get out of debt, travel, and give to others.
3. Live below your means. Even though the newest gadget looks really cool, do you really need it? The ball games still look alright even though it may not be in HD. It is far too easy to stretch your means and get the things you want but don’t need. Wait until you can pay cash for the things you want. Clay over at The Growing Life has a great post on this.
4. What does your money say to you? A great exercise for taking charge of your money is to have a conversation with it. Before you brush this off, try it. We learn to communicate with our money from our parents. Statements like I heard while going shopping with my mother, “we won’t tell your father about this.” This bred secrecy in the area of money. One which I have had to work hard to break the pattern.
5. Don’t abuse the power of money in marriage. Stereotypically, men are the primary breadwinners in the marriage. This can set up a hierarchy in the marriage. The wife’s self-worth may be diminished since she is not contributing to the family monetarily. This can be exacerbated if you continually point this out. Talk to her about her feelings on the matter. Listen to her view. There are greater things to focus on and work towards.
6. Live simple. Enough said.

ABOUT THE WRITER

Corey is the editor of Simple Marriage as well as a licensed marriage & family therapist. While he has a Ph.D. in Family Therapy, he only occasionally likes to be called doctor. If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe so you don't miss any future posts.