Comments on: Nice People Sex … Boring

By: Tense couple | RES Dating

Tense couple | RES Dating — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 10:46:07 +0000

[...] couple Note: this photo was published in a Feb 23, 2010 blog titled "Nice People Sex … Boring." It was also published in an undated (late Nov 2010) blog titled "Long Distance [...]

By: Paul

Paul — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 04:14:14 +0000

I have been married 40 plus years and I fixed our boring intimacy, sex problems. I just stopped having sex or any thing to do with my wife 30 years ago. We still live in the same house and she does what ever she does and I do mine. The best 30 years of my entire life. My wife disagrees but thats her opinion and I don’t care.

By: Ron

Ron — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 20:06:48 +0000

I would wonder, have you actually been to a Bible based Church? Becuase the myth that the Christian Church thinks sex should be devoid of passion & riddled with guilt is just that, a myth. A Christian Church who is Bible based DOES NOT teach that. The Bible is FULL of examples on how withing the marriage bed there is supposed to be passion, desire & hot sex. Nowhere does it teach that sex is dirty. Just read the Song of Soloman.

However you do have a valid point in this respect. Many churches in the past took this view. It was a way to control of the people attending & making them dependant on the church, not God. This hasn’t been true for some time now. Even the Catholic Church which started this view (that sex was dirty & only for procreation) has changed this. while they still oppose artificial birth control this is why the rythym method is taught. Where you may disagree is that the Church does teach that sex is to be withing the confines of marriage. Not here to give pros & cons of that at all. Each must follow their own beliefs & values.

Many Bible based churches today conduct marriage seminars which includes, frank, adult discussion of the importance of sex. It stresses the passion, the closeness, the romance & most importantly the bond it can bring for a couple. That is the example set for the church in the Bible. We have discussed this many times in my Sunday School class with great candor. So that great ministry does exist within the church today.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 05:41:43 +0000

I think you do have a good point. However, I want to add some complexity to this from my own experience. I have had boring sex with great guys and grew tired of them. I have also had great sex with bad boys and they have their own set of issues. Now I’m with a good, and yes nice, guy. I want to stay with him because I like the way he treats me with respect and courtesy. At the same time, I want the sex to be good and as you say, he is timid. Any suggestions?

By: saving my marriage

saving my marriage — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 08:34:59 +0000

Hello,
interesting thought. I always thought of myself as a nice guy and I hope it is not the same “nice” as mentioned in the post. I think I don’t complain very much about my sex life and I am generally happy, but don’t we all like to be liked? Still you have to be true to yourself and not just pretend to be someone else just to be accepted.
Thanks for the good blog! Regards, Stefan

By: Recovering Misanthropic

Recovering Misanthropic — Sun, 09 May 2010 08:07:36 +0000

It is quite common in relationship for one person to more aggeresive while the other is more grounded. There is a saying opposite attracts which could mean that a sexual person could be attracted someone less wild and free as they are. Furthermore, I believe nice people are willingly to prove in sex department if you just tell them. Nice people may be little to eager to please but always ready to listen. There are not psychic and if not told probably would know if they had a problem or not. The last thing that I would like to say is that people shouldn’t suspect sex to be like a porn flick. A lot of the time nice people don’t want to play games, which makes sex initmate and real. For nice people it is about feel close to a person and not fullfilling a sexual fantasy, because they don’t want to degrade their spouse in the process. However, if you are feeling dissatisfied then nice people are always their to listen.

By: Beyond Nice People Sex — Simple Marriage

Beyond Nice People Sex — Simple Marriage — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 00:09:40 +0000

[...] is a follow up to last week’s post on Nice People sex as well as a bonus Pre-Sex Week [...]

By: Shannon O | Confessions of a Loving Wife

Shannon O | Confessions of a Loving Wife — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 03:33:09 +0000

Laurie I love your comment: glad to have moved past the good girl I used to be. Now I’m a better girl! ;o)

You hit the nail on the head with that one!

By: Laurie

Laurie — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 01:08:48 +0000

Great post. I can relate and am glad to have moved past the good girl I used to be. Now I’m a better girl! ;o)

By: Paul Byerly

Paul Byerly — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 18:48:18 +0000

“He constantly complains he’s not getting enough, or it’s unsatisfying…”

Spot on, Corey! These guys can’t ask for what they want, because of their fear of being selfish – and/or feeling they can’t give her what she should have unless they are holding back. It’s part of the “men are brutes” thinking that seems increasingly common.

Thing is, his sexual urges and desires don’t just lie down and go away, so he ends up stuck between to strong motivations, with no way to express both.

For years my bride told me how much she likes me “being myself” when I didn’t hold back. After a while, I started to believe her, and then to actually see it; the more free I was, the more I was who I am, the more I expresses what I wanted and enjoyed, the more she enjoyed sex.