Comments on: Simple Family: Keep The End In Mind http://www.simplemarriage.net/simple-family-keep-the-end-in-mind.html Keep it simple. Make it better. Tue, 07 Feb 2012 21:01:29 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: How To Get To Know Your Step Kids http://www.simplemarriage.net/simple-family-keep-the-end-in-mind.html#comment-7197 How To Get To Know Your Step Kids Mon, 12 Apr 2010 21:17:36 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=2913#comment-7197 [...] Looking back now, I understand how poignant Shirley’s advice was, both as a stepparent a few years in or for a newbie step. Here are some ideas to help you get to know – and re-know – your step kids before the other side of parenting takes over your sanity: [...] [...] Looking back now, I understand how poignant Shirley’s advice was, both as a stepparent a few years in or for a newbie step. Here are some ideas to help you get to know – and re-know – your step kids before the other side of parenting takes over your sanity: [...]

]]> By: Corey http://www.simplemarriage.net/simple-family-keep-the-end-in-mind.html#comment-5032 Corey Tue, 27 Oct 2009 15:00:50 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=2913#comment-5032 That's great Laurie! Thanks for letting me know. :) That’s great Laurie! Thanks for letting me know. :)

]]> By: Laurie http://www.simplemarriage.net/simple-family-keep-the-end-in-mind.html#comment-5031 Laurie Tue, 27 Oct 2009 14:14:03 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=2913#comment-5031 Corey, I have to share. Guess what my oldest son did? Background for those of you who don't know me- My oldest is now 20. He was an incredibly difficult child and really was the teenager from hell. back to what he did.... He is working and with his job, his boss sent him to DC to pick up a car and drive it back to Texas. My son flew to DC by himself, got a taxi (a new experience for him) found his hotel, picked up the car the next morning, and spend two days driving back to Texas. WOW! I told him I was so proud that he was so self sufficient. I could not have done that at 20. It would be a struggle for me to do that now! (but I would). I feel successful. Corey,
I have to share. Guess what my oldest son did? Background for those of you who don’t know me- My oldest is now 20. He was an incredibly difficult child and really was the teenager from hell.
back to what he did…. He is working and with his job, his boss sent him to DC to pick up a car and drive it back to Texas. My son flew to DC by himself, got a taxi (a new experience for him) found his hotel, picked up the car the next morning, and spend two days driving back to Texas. WOW! I told him I was so proud that he was so self sufficient. I could not have done that at 20. It would be a struggle for me to do that now! (but I would). I feel successful.

]]> By: Melissa - Peace & Projects http://www.simplemarriage.net/simple-family-keep-the-end-in-mind.html#comment-5029 Melissa - Peace & Projects Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:03:49 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=2913#comment-5029 This is a fantastic post, Corey. It is so hard to remember that our main job is to raise adults. Recently, I had been giving my 11 year old constant reminders about getting to the bus on time - it was putting a very negative strain on our mornings. Then it dawned on me I was teaching her to rely on my reminders, rather than finding her own ways to get to the bus on time. So I told her the expected time to "make" the bus, and that if she wasn't able to keep on track, she'd have to walk the 6 blocks to school. So far - she has been early getting out to the stop. Keep up the great work! This is a fantastic post, Corey. It is so hard to remember that our main job is to raise adults. Recently, I had been giving my 11 year old constant reminders about getting to the bus on time – it was putting a very negative strain on our mornings.

Then it dawned on me I was teaching her to rely on my reminders, rather than finding her own ways to get to the bus on time. So I told her the expected time to “make” the bus, and that if she wasn’t able to keep on track, she’d have to walk the 6 blocks to school.

So far – she has been early getting out to the stop.

Keep up the great work!

]]> By: Coach J http://www.simplemarriage.net/simple-family-keep-the-end-in-mind.html#comment-5028 Coach J Mon, 26 Oct 2009 15:49:12 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=2913#comment-5028 This is a tough one, especially when the kid is so darn cute and is looking at you with those big doe eyes. But yes, I do want my child to be independent. A little bit of struggle on his part now (with some strategic help from me) will go a long way in the future. This is a tough one, especially when the kid is so darn cute and is looking at you with those big doe eyes. But yes, I do want my child to be independent. A little bit of struggle on his part now (with some strategic help from me) will go a long way in the future.

]]> By: Corey http://www.simplemarriage.net/simple-family-keep-the-end-in-mind.html#comment-5026 Corey Mon, 26 Oct 2009 13:48:30 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=2913#comment-5026 K, it is overly simplistic. When I live my life according to my values and beliefs, my kids are more likely to adopt them because what we model is far more powerful than what we say or teach. Be generous, kind, empathic, and happy as you live life with them and they will very likely do the same. Thanks for the discussion. K, it is overly simplistic. When I live my life according to my values and beliefs, my kids are more likely to adopt them because what we model is far more powerful than what we say or teach.

Be generous, kind, empathic, and happy as you live life with them and they will very likely do the same.

Thanks for the discussion.

]]> By: Corey http://www.simplemarriage.net/simple-family-keep-the-end-in-mind.html#comment-5025 Corey Mon, 26 Oct 2009 13:45:17 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=2913#comment-5025 No, Lindsey, you didn't misunderstand me. The idea I'm proposing here can still include all the things you mention (which I would like for my children as well) but the hope is that as parents we will lighten up a bit about all the things we hope are children will obtain. Parents seem to put a fair amount of pressure on themselves and their parenting, so much so that they miss time with their kids and their own life. To put this another way. One of the big things many family's desire is for their children to love God and have a relationship with Him. Many parents go to great lengths to help their children develop this relationship. At times, their effort can actually push the child away from their goal. The only way a person (any person) will develop a relationship with God (or adopt any of your family values) is when they are given the freedom to choose it. So rather than do so much to try and ensure your child's future faith, live out your own faith and it will increase the likelihood that they will follow along. Thanks for the comment. No, Lindsey, you didn’t misunderstand me. The idea I’m proposing here can still include all the things you mention (which I would like for my children as well) but the hope is that as parents we will lighten up a bit about all the things we hope are children will obtain. Parents seem to put a fair amount of pressure on themselves and their parenting, so much so that they miss time with their kids and their own life.

To put this another way. One of the big things many family’s desire is for their children to love God and have a relationship with Him. Many parents go to great lengths to help their children develop this relationship. At times, their effort can actually push the child away from their goal. The only way a person (any person) will develop a relationship with God (or adopt any of your family values) is when they are given the freedom to choose it. So rather than do so much to try and ensure your child’s future faith, live out your own faith and it will increase the likelihood that they will follow along.

Thanks for the comment.

]]> By: K http://www.simplemarriage.net/simple-family-keep-the-end-in-mind.html#comment-5023 K Mon, 26 Oct 2009 13:21:55 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=2913#comment-5023 Along with Lindsay, the definitely of a success once your child becomes an adult didn't seem right. I want my child to be a happy person, who knows how to love and be loved. And have empthathy, and be generous... (and I could go on!). I'm guessing the taxpaper definition was meant to be tongue in cheek, but it made the post come across overly simplistic. Along with Lindsay, the definitely of a success once your child becomes an adult didn’t seem right. I want my child to be a happy person, who knows how to love and be loved. And have empthathy, and be generous… (and I could go on!). I’m guessing the taxpaper definition was meant to be tongue in cheek, but it made the post come across overly simplistic.

]]> By: Lindsey http://www.simplemarriage.net/simple-family-keep-the-end-in-mind.html#comment-5022 Lindsey Mon, 26 Oct 2009 02:51:37 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=2913#comment-5022 I definitely agree with the idea that we need to parent from our most basic and important values. It really makes a difference on which battles we choose to engage in with our kids. Having said that, it surprises me that you said as long as your kid's a taxpayer, you've done a good job. Really? What about being a good person? What about loving God? What about compassion, loyalty, a good work ethic, etc? I'm surprised that your measuring stick is about contributing money to the country. Did I misunderstand you? I definitely agree with the idea that we need to parent from our most basic and important values. It really makes a difference on which battles we choose to engage in with our kids.

Having said that, it surprises me that you said as long as your kid’s a taxpayer, you’ve done a good job. Really? What about being a good person? What about loving God? What about compassion, loyalty, a good work ethic, etc? I’m surprised that your measuring stick is about contributing money to the country. Did I misunderstand you?

]]> By: Jenn @ Beautiful Calling http://www.simplemarriage.net/simple-family-keep-the-end-in-mind.html#comment-5021 Jenn @ Beautiful Calling Mon, 26 Oct 2009 02:00:48 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=2913#comment-5021 Oh, Just what I needed tonight! Usually, I am able to approach situations calmly and make them teachable moments and this past week, (I hate to admit) I found my emotions surging a little out of control. Praise the Lord for a new week: one where I can start once again parent with the end results in mind! Oh, Just what I needed tonight! Usually, I am able to approach situations calmly and make them teachable moments and this past week, (I hate to admit) I found my emotions surging a little out of control.
Praise the Lord for a new week: one where I can start once again parent with the end results in mind!

]]>