Comments on: Simple Family: The Biggest Lie Many Parents Live By

By: Corey

Corey — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 19:34:01 +0000

By book are you referring to Screamfree Parenting? Yes, among many other things as well.

By: dan

dan — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 19:17:07 +0000

I don’t “yell” at my (very young) kids so much as I urgently get them to stop jumping off the bed so the downstairs neighbors don’t knock on our door again. Ok so it’s yelling. Does the book address this type of thing?

By: Lis

Lis — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 16:08:02 +0000

Thanks Laurie! I will give it a shot! I’m glad to hear that your son is enjoying his life more with less strife. I’m sure that is a big relief to you. Thanks again!

By: Laurie

Laurie — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 15:48:56 +0000

I took my son to counselors starting when he was in about the 4th grade. All of them worked with him on coping skills. While this is a good thing, He had to choose to use them which he wasn’t interested in doing. Also, I still wasn’t trained to respond to a child that seemed like he had no limits as to how he would react to my limits and the consequences placed on him. As a teen, I had him arrested, put into a psych hospital, and continued paying for professional help. It wasn’t until I found someone who taught ME how to respond in a way that would diffuse the situation (or at least not escalate it so much) that things begin to get better. This counselor didn’t even really see my son (he met him on one session but that was it). Instead, this counselor taught me and my hub what to say, do etc. In our response to our child, it shifted choices for his life to him. He knew where choice A would lead for him and where choice B would lead. After he experienced the consequences of his choices a few times, he started to settle down a bit.

Now he is 20 and living on his own. He is enjoyable to be around, loving, and just a cool kid. I will eventually get the cracked doors replaced and the holes repaired in my walls. While I believe he will always struggle with his mood swings and impulses, I believe he can make the life he wants should he choose to do so.

You might ask who the counselor was that equipped my hub and I and made all the difference in our lives. That would be Corey Allan, Mr. Simple Marriage himself. This man saved our family and my marriage. God sent me a miracle in Corey.

I wish you all the best with your son. Maybe Corey has a book to recommend to you. If your able I would give Corey a call. Parent coaching would be a great thing. Well worth the money and much cheaper than a psych hospital.

By: Lis

Lis — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 15:18:36 +0000

Laurie, I’m dealing with this right now, only my son is only 5 years old. I can see the future if I keep dealing with him like I am. I don’t trust him, honestly, and I think I am undermining his ability to make his own decisions. Would you elaborate on your experience and what you would have done differently?

By: Simple Family: Giving Kids Their Space — Simple Marriage

Simple Family: Giving Kids Their Space — Simple Marriage — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 21:10:01 +0000

[...] the last Simple Family post I proposed the idea the as parents, we are responsible to our children, not for them. [...]

By: Susan

Susan — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 22:25:43 +0000

You keep it up Maegan!! The title is a little scary – but the principles are what we need to focus on – focusing in on ourselves! I would love to answer any questions you might have, I am at a certification seminar right now to teach these amazing tools/principles to other parents.

By: Susan

Susan — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 22:23:29 +0000

This is just what parents need to hear!! Parenting isn’t about the kids, it’s about the parents!! I am at a conference on this EXACT topic – a great book that describes this concept in detail for parents is “Screamfree Parenting”. I am passionate about getting parents to understand this concept and calm their homes! This is the ONLY way to make a change in your home – truly!

By: From Dominique's Desk

From Dominique's Desk — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 09:14:28 +0000

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By: Suzannah

Suzannah — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 12:44:32 +0000

I’m always amazed when I see people grow up and, regardless of the environment in which they were brought up, become absolutely nothing like their parents. You’re right, children are their own people. As parents, it’s our job to guide them, to teach them, and to model for them, but none of that guarantees they’ll become what you expect or desire for them. Great thoughts.