Simple Marriage’s Take On A Simple Marriage
Not to sound vain or anything with this post, but I have been asked by a few readers for my wife and I’s thoughts on a Simple Marriage. While most of you have gotten to know us by reading the blog, there are many new readers who have joined recently.
I may be breaking every journalistic rule out there today by interviewing myself, but in the interest of time and the absence of someone else to conduct the interview, here goes.
Q: Brief bio data:
We are Corey and Pam Allan of The Simple Marriage Project. We’ve been married for over 15 years and have 2 children ages 3 and 1. Corey is a writer, marriage coach, and marriage therapist. Pam is a CPA working as a controller for a company in Dallas.
Q: How have you and your spouse simplified marriage effectively?
Early on in marriage, we fell victim to getting too caught up in our careers, status, materialism, etc. This resulted in our marriage almost falling apart. After some major changes in both our outlooks and perspectives, our marriage rebuilt stronger than ever. The tough times taught us what is important. Namely, our spiritual life, our own life and each other. We learned we need to follow our dreams and live from our passion individually and as a couple.
Q: How do you find harmony in marriage, parenting, work, blogging, fun?
We have developed a really good system to help this. We tell each other what we think about these areas. Pam is not shy in telling me to turn off the computer and I am not shy in telling her to put away her work. We both believe life can be fun, so we look for ways to have fun in most everything. We also have developed a good relationship in parenting. We strive to do things as a family in the evenings, walk, play at the park, etc. then spend time with each other after the kids go to bed.
Q: What can other couples learn from your marriage?
We hope that our marriage is an example of a Godly marriage. We also hope we are examples of: 1) living life with contentment, 2) enjoying each moment as it occurs, and 3) a marriage built on love and respect for each other.
Q: What are your marriage dreams?
At some point we hope to live in the mountains and travel the world as a family. We also hope to simply enjoy life and the ride it provides together as a couple. Things are so much more fun when shared with someone else.
Q: Any other thing Simple Marriage readers would benefit from knowing?
Learn to laugh at yourself and each other. Life is choice, so choose to enjoy the ride!
Corey is the editor of Simple Marriage as well as a licensed marriage & family therapist. While he has a Ph.D. in Family Therapy, he only occasionally likes to be called doctor. If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe so you don't miss any future posts.4 Responses to “Simple Marriage’s Take On A Simple Marriage”
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Great interview! What a great reporter.
So during your difficult times, did you or she ever say anything that was really unforgivable? How did you get past that? What would you have done if your wife had told you that marrying you was the biggest mistake she’s ever made?
It’s nice to know a bit more about you.
I’ve also found that focusing on the basics in your relationship as well as life in general makes for a much more fulfilling life.
It’s easy to get caught up in work, technology, social circles, etc.
However, when you go for a walk with your spouse in a park, pausing for a few minutes in a quiet spot, just to gaze into her eyes, it helps bring the rest of your life into proper perspective.
You didn’t ask this question specifically, but I’m betting you have very open and honest communication, too…
Thanks for the “interview.”
How were you able to identify that career, success, etc. were having a negative effect on your marriage? How did you overcome that?
@Laurie- I don’t recall anything unforgivable being said, just honest thoughts. And honest thoughts don’t necessarily need to be forgiven, just understood and addressed.
@Erin- We both found ourselves not really liking each other or being around each other much. My wife broke this cycle by being up front with me and asking straight out, “what’s going on?” We overcame this by choosing to work through everything together, counseling, and a career change for myself.