For this past year, my wife and I have been on a simplification kick. The goal has been to make life simple as possible. While we’ve succeeded in some areas, there’s still work to be done. Our plan is to continue this work in 2009.
With that in mind, what are some of your goals in 2009?
Our marriage has been helped a great deal because of the shared goals we’ve created over the years and there are a few things we’ve come across that aided in the creation of these goals. That’s what is included in this giveaway.
The Simple Marriage Project is offering a special giveaway to help one lucky reader simplify in 2009!
Here’s what you could win:
1. Wild At Heart by John Eldredge.
Here’s an excerpt from John Eldredge: A Battle to fight. An Adventure to live. A Beauty to rescue. This is what a man longs for. This is what makes him come alive. Look at the films men love. For that matter, look at the dreams of little boys, the games they play. There is something fierce, passionate, and wild in the heart of every man. That is how he bears the image of God. And the reason that most men “live lives of quiet desperation” (Thoreau) is because men have been told that the reason God put them on earth is to be a good boy. To be nice.
God designed men to be dangerous. Simply look at the dreams and desires written in the heart of every boy: To be a hero, to be a warrior, to live a life of adventure and risk.
2. Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge.
Here’s an excerpt from John and Stasi: Every woman was once a little girl. And every little girl holds in her heart her most precious dreams. She longs to be swept up into a romance, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, to be the Beauty of the story. Those desires are far more than child’s play. They are the secret to the feminine heart.
And yet – how many women do you know who ever find that life? As the years pass by, the heart of a woman gets pushed aside, wounded, buried. She finds no romance except in novels, no adventure except on television, and she doubts very much that she will ever be the Beauty in any tale.
These are great books for life and marriage. My wife and I enjoyed them both.
3. Two Moleskine Notebooks.
This alone would make this giveaway enticing to me. I love these little notebooks. They’re great for jotting down ideas, notes, to-dos, or journaling about the moment. The two included in this giveaway are a Pocket sized (3in. x 5in.) and a Large (5in. x 8in.). I carry both these with me most everywhere I go. I think you’ll love them.
4. His and Her Simple Marriage T-Shirts.
Help spread the word about Simple Marriages by getting dressed in the morning. The winner will be able to choose two short sleeved T-shirts from our store.
How to enter.
You have 3 ways to enter your name in the random drawing for this giveaway.
- Leave a comment in this post and share either a goal for 2009 or a way you have found to simplify your marriage or life in 2008.
- For a second entry, email me at corey (at) simplemarriage (dot) net with the secret code in the email’s subject line (no need to write anything in the email’s body, as it won’t be read). To find the secret code, make sure you’ve subscribed to Simple Marriage either via RSS or via email, and look in the footer of the feed for this and all subsequent posts.
- For a third, fourth, and fifth entry, share your favorite Simple Marriage posts with your friends using the Email this post link at the end of each post (You have to use this link or I can’t see if you shared any posts). For each friend you email posts to, you’ll receive one entry in the giveaway (limit 3 entries for the giveaway but feel free to share as many posts as you’d like please).
Each person may enter up to 5 times. Meaning you can do number 1 and 2 once and then number 3 and share three posts with your friends.
This giveaway will end December 30, 2008 at midnight CST. Good luck!
Wow, first off, thanks for the opportunity to win such awesome prizes!
As for a 2009 goal…I’m in the process of getting married (seem to mention that every chance I get) and it’s alot, and complicated, and work, just to get to being married… But I digress, my goal for 2009 keep things simple, especially in relation to the wedding. As we go about planning do we really need that crazy expensive such-n-such or can we go with something a bit different? So, all of 2009 lets try to ask myself, “Can I do this easier, simpler?”
My wife home schools our 5-year old boy with a 2-year old girl in the house while I work 50 hours a week. In addition to work, I blog, podcast, and am working on publication of a novel. My goal for 2009 would be to streamline my online identity (Average Joe American) and become more efficient at work so I can be home to spend more time with the family and be more helpful to my wife during that time.
@Average Joe American – A worthy goal you will never regret. Lost time with your family can never be retrieved. Your family will benefit from it more that you can imagine.
@Mark – I’ve been married for almost 25 years. If I had it to do all over again, I would have spent tons less on the wedding and more on the honeymoon. After all that’s were the real party starts!
I can say both of the books Corey is giving away are great. I read them both and suggest that both spouses read both of them. I will give you insight to your better half while understanding yourself more at the same time.
While I am not entering because I have both books, my goal for the coming year is to grow up more in my marriage and be more differentiated. It is also to have some adventures together and play more as a couple.
One goal for 2009 is to better track my bills and monthly receipts. Right now I put them in a big pile. Maybe I will scan them…
2009 goal: Go outside, play games, and talk more with wife and daughter. Watching TV, watching movies, or playing video games does not count as together time because we already do these things.
I just got engaged a couple weeks ago with plans to marry in 2010. So my tangible numbers type goal is to get my consumer debt paid off and a good chunk of my student loans paid. Doing this will necessarily require simplifying my life so I can go into *our* life together in that mindset.
As a personal physical goal, I will run a 10K at some point in 2009 and training for it is free (see goal above)! I did my first 5K this Fall and I’m looking forward to challenging myself to longer distances.
This site is a wonderful regular reminder of what’s really important in relationships. Thank you. So much of our daily input is garbage from ads and commercials to ridiculous sitcoms to unending negativity from people we know, it is nice to have good healthy input to counterbalance.
We have simplified our marriage by getting on a budget and getting out of debt. Our arguments are way down and our enjoyment is way up. We go on dates with no guilt because we have planned in advance and have the cash to pay for it (we try to date once a week).
Dave Ramsey has made our marriage a lot better (http://www.daveramsey.com)!
For 2009 our goal is to create a budget to work on getting out of debt. Also to continue working on communication as a couple, finding time each week for a date, and enjoying our time with our children.
My goal for 2009 (one of them anyway) is to be able to take what I read here and apply it. I’m currently single(though hopefully not for long
), but I enjoy reading this blog and ones like it; my philosophy is that you shouldn’t jump into something unprepared, and marriage is certainly no exception. Thanks for the excellent advice you and all of your colleagues on the net provide.
I have several goals for 2009. I’d like to continue my pursuit of better health. With the way things are going, I will be more healthy and in better shape at 35 than I was at 25.
I also desire to apply more of what I learn here to my marriage. It’s much better than it was a year ago and I hope that next year it will be even better. I really like the “simplify” idea and I am applying that to many areas of my life, including my marriage. So far, it’s working pretty well.
Thanks for the great giveaway!
My goal for 2009 is as follows:
Whenever I become annoyed, irritated or otherwise disturbed by my fiancee my goal for 2009 is to release the feeling, release the idea of changing him, accept him as he is and wheres he’s at and bring the focus on what I need to change about or do for myself. We’re opposites in many ways and the more I try to make him more like me and control his behavior, the unhappier I get. So my goal is to release and accept, all at once.
Do you think I can do it? I am not sure. But I’ll try.
My 2009 goal is to conquer the mounds of paperwork, magazines and newspaper in our home.
Our goal for 2009 is to simplify the holidays by dividing them between our families instead of driving between two states to visit everyone on major holidays.
One thing we did this year was simplify our entertaining. We have a closet with emergency entertaining supplies (wine, snacks, soft drinks, napkins, a tablecloth, etc.)
I’m not married yet, but what my boyfriend and I do to simplify things is to spend a lot of time staying in and spending quality time together talking about our lives and to each other. I find that it greatly helps our relationship!
My goal is to be more assertive whenever my husband and I have disagreements. I’m usually pretty passive, and I often back down from things I feel strongly about just to avoid arguing. I also plan to help my husband with his plan to get better at controlling a little impulse buying problem he has.
Our goal for 2009 is to work hard at repairing the damage that has been done to our relationship. We have both been stubborn and inconsiderate to each other, so we are committed to being the loving, calm people we were before we were married, so that we are reminded (daily) why we fell in love and how much we really do love each other. This will be difficult as we have really pushed the bounds of our marriage, but we are determined to see our marriage grow.
@Alicia- you said “why we fell in love and how much we really do love each other”
I am working on a Christmas project that requires me to go back through all of our old family photos. You might want to share this activity with your spouse. When I was going through the photos, recalling the events and feeling represented in the photos, really reminded me why I am married to my guy and what a wonderful guy he is. Maybe a photo trip together with a nice beverage and some fruit to dip in melted chocolate will remind you why you thought you couldn’t live without your guy. The person we married is still in there. Life sometimes gets in the way. Just a thought.
I was introduced to your blog by friend shortly after I became engaged. We are planning to marry in April/May of this year, so simple wedding plans are high on the simplification plan of ’09. One simplification commitment that both I and my fiance have committed to is to take monthly retreat days where we get alone (not even with each other) with God and spend time worshiping, praying and resting. We live in a major city and urban life is very hectic if you are not ruthless in carving out time in the calendar to meditate on the glory of God and actually rest. I’ve found both resting and meditation to be extremely simplifying!
This is a grand opportunity to win some great prizes… from a very valuable website. I hope I’m not the only partner in my marriage entering.
My personal goal for 2009 is to stop debting and to start digging out of the mess I’ve gotten my family into. To accomplish this, we will be tracking every penny we spend, and are setting up a very explicit saving plan using the financial tools that I own but have been neglecting. And it starts now… not January 1.
In 2008, one of the tasks that I have taken on, and have been moderately successful at, in terms of simplifying my life is cleaning my closet and work area in my house – and trying to get the rest of my family to do the same. Starting in 2009, we’ll be doing this to eBay that which we no longer use.
I recently changed pretty much everything in my life..and my “new life” is due to start on January, with a great new boyfriend, great new job, new flat, new country.. so my goal for 2009 would be making the most of these changes and hopefully seeing that I made the right decisions
Great goals! In a world that is constantly busy & confusing, making your marriage a simple haven can have far reaching results.
This year we got married so we’re still putting routines into place but my goal for this year is to continue to be open and thankful for how my husband is different from me. I also want to continue to ingraine the habit of being thankful for him and letting him know how much I appreciate him. I’ve found when I’m thankful and show it, it takes a lot of the pressure off for both of us.
our 2009 goals:
* Make our living space more welcoming. This includes getting rid of things that we don’t use, tidying up, fixing or replacing broken things, and decorating our house to our tastes rather than the prior owner’s.
* Swap roles – I have been the student (working full time and going to school in the evenings) for a long time now, and in May, I’ll be done! It’s his turn now.
The rest of the goals remain the same as before: health, happiness, good parenting, good friendships, good romantic partnership with each other – you know, all the usual stuff. : )
We have taken one evening commitment, caroling around town, off of our Christmas week schedule. We will miss it but we found that we needed the extra margin at the holidays. That extra evening is already paying off.
BTW, I subscribe in Rososo (The Peaceful Reader:-) so no secret code.
my husband and I don’t exchange gifts for special occasions. Neither of us need anymore stuff to clutter up the house. Instead we just go out to a special place for dinner.
One of my goals for 2009 is to become move to a better location for my family!
We have started talking honestly about finances and keep ourselves in check from bringing home stuff we don’t need. We trade in books at a used bookstore and use the trade in credit for more things to read. If a new video game is wanted we wait til we have enough of the giant collection we already own finished to trade in for it. Our wallets are thanking us.
We get paid once a month now. This has simplified our lives very much. We go to the ‘big’ store once a month and have a list. We have cut back on our splurges. But we still have a long way to go.
Best thing we did in 2008: when we would start arguing I would say “let’s remember we are FOR each other not AGAINST each other” It really changes the perspective, as it reminds us we’re supposed to be a team, not two individuals butting heads over issues that can be talked about calmly
Goal for 2009: Budget and organization. We got our hearts in the right place, now for the rest of it!
My main goal for 2009 is to finish my degree. After years of taking a few courses here and there I’m finally within reach of the end.
2009 will be the year that I work on not letting issues “fester,” and instead work on being honest, clear and straightforward as soon as possible when I sense an issue that needs to be resolved.
We are choosing one project or goal at a time this year to accomplish. We made a list of “everything we want to do” and pick one or two things to start with and then approach the goal or project together, sometimes each one taking on one aspect of the project or goal and other times physically working together to accomplish the project.
For example, we want to be more self-sufficient, so our first project this year is to recreate our yard and move from lawn to garden. This week we are working on the mapping and planning, each taking an aspect of the tasks and then working together to accomplish it.
Thanks Corey for such a valuable site!
I am getting married Feb 14, 2010 and even with the stress of planning a wedding me and Mike have made it a rule to NEVER go to bed angry at eachother. We always take time at the end of the day or even durring the day to discuss whats bothering eachother. Then we wake up happy and ready to start a new day