Comments on: Social Media for the Socially Inept http://www.simplemarriage.net/social-media-for-the-socially-inept.html Create a better marriage by keeping things simple. Wed, 08 Sep 2010 00:22:32 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: ReworkInProgress http://www.simplemarriage.net/social-media-for-the-socially-inept.html#comment-3615 ReworkInProgress Tue, 09 Jun 2009 00:45:10 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=1994#comment-3615 I was horrified to see this post on SimpleMarriage. In my opinion (and from first-hand experience), all of these so-called social networking tools are fraught with danger for relationships, especially marriage. They invite inappropriately intimate connections with both friends and strangers that can drain life away from your most important relationship with your partner. You can socialize, interact, and have fun in a singles bar too, but I'd no sooner advocate that as a tool to improve your marriage than I would these sites. At best these sites are a drain on your time (and productivity for those who have access at work), and at worst a snake pit that can end your relationship or marriage. The potential downside far outweighs any benefits - again, my opinion. If you're looking to strengthen your marriage, you'd do well to steer far clear of this Pandora's box. I was horrified to see this post on SimpleMarriage. In my opinion (and from first-hand experience), all of these so-called social networking tools are fraught with danger for relationships, especially marriage. They invite inappropriately intimate connections with both friends and strangers that can drain life away from your most important relationship with your partner. You can socialize, interact, and have fun in a singles bar too, but I’d no sooner advocate that as a tool to improve your marriage than I would these sites. At best these sites are a drain on your time (and productivity for those who have access at work), and at worst a snake pit that can end your relationship or marriage. The potential downside far outweighs any benefits – again, my opinion. If you’re looking to strengthen your marriage, you’d do well to steer far clear of this Pandora’s box.

]]> By: Daily David — davidgagne.net http://www.simplemarriage.net/social-media-for-the-socially-inept.html#comment-3613 Daily David — davidgagne.net Mon, 08 Jun 2009 18:26:24 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=1994#comment-3613 [...] Marriage has posted a primer on social media that’s worth a read if you can’t seem to understand the difference between — or [...] [...] Marriage has posted a primer on social media that’s worth a read if you can’t seem to understand the difference between — or [...]

]]> By: Favorite Finds Of The Week | Serene Journey http://www.simplemarriage.net/social-media-for-the-socially-inept.html#comment-3603 Favorite Finds Of The Week | Serene Journey Sat, 06 Jun 2009 03:48:07 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=1994#comment-3603 [...] Social Media for the Socially Inept - Simple Marriage I don’t know about you, but the moment I walk into a crowded room, my palms start to sweat. I search the room for a familiar face. Thoughts crowd my brain: What if I don’t know anyone? Who will I talk to? I don’t think these people like me! Why did I come here anyway? I’m such a dork! They’re all looking at me and thinking, “I can’t believe SHE came HERE.” [...] [...] Social Media for the Socially Inept – Simple Marriage I don’t know about you, but the moment I walk into a crowded room, my palms start to sweat. I search the room for a familiar face. Thoughts crowd my brain: What if I don’t know anyone? Who will I talk to? I don’t think these people like me! Why did I come here anyway? I’m such a dork! They’re all looking at me and thinking, “I can’t believe SHE came HERE.” [...]

]]> By: TeriLynne http://www.simplemarriage.net/social-media-for-the-socially-inept.html#comment-3602 TeriLynne Fri, 05 Jun 2009 18:35:23 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=1994#comment-3602 I love social networking! I love reading blogs! And I shall immediately begin searching for you, Alisa, once I complete typing this comment. A great article filled with solid insight and guidelines. My favorite thing about social networking sites is they enable me to stay connected with those I love but allowing me time to do those other things that are important to me as well. I check my copmuter a few times a day - some days more, some less. One thing I love about these sites is that I am engaging in a bigger world that I would be if I limited myself to relationships IRL only. I am learning about other world views and even parenting & marriage styles that are not what I have been exposed to in my limited experience. That's a good thing ... helps me see past myself. I love social networking! I love reading blogs! And I shall immediately begin searching for you, Alisa, once I complete typing this comment. A great article filled with solid insight and guidelines.

My favorite thing about social networking sites is they enable me to stay connected with those I love but allowing me time to do those other things that are important to me as well. I check my copmuter a few times a day – some days more, some less. One thing I love about these sites is that I am engaging in a bigger world that I would be if I limited myself to relationships IRL only. I am learning about other world views and even parenting & marriage styles that are not what I have been exposed to in my limited experience. That’s a good thing … helps me see past myself.

]]> By: Pat http://www.simplemarriage.net/social-media-for-the-socially-inept.html#comment-3601 Pat Fri, 05 Jun 2009 16:08:15 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=1994#comment-3601 I just can't stand the "social networking" tools... I like having a few close friends in real life, and have no more interest in making "friends" online than going to a bar to make "friends" there. I don't believe that either one will lead to REAL friends. I guess it just depends on what you want out of it. Also, I swear I'm not old or a luddite, but if I want to catch up with a friend I'll pick up the phone. Even an email is better that these tools... I wouldn't broadcast a conversation with a friend on a loudspeaker or radio, so why would I want my personal interactions broadcast on the internet, whether it's public or just within my group of "friends"? Frankly, with kids, a house, a wife, and a job, where would I find time for this? ...and if I had time why would I spend it doing that? Lastly, it seems the only redeeming reason to be on Twitter (aside from the potential uses in emergency situations) is if you are advertising something, like an author reminding people of a book signing or a band promoting a concert. "Celebrities", both internet and mainstream, are fairly transparent about the REAL reason they use twitter. Since I don't have a need to promote myself, why would I want to subject myself to yet ANOTHER vehicle by which I can be bombarded with advertisements? Ugh, sorry for the rant. Of course, if you have time and enjoy something that doesn't hurt others, by all means do it. The thoughts above are just the reasons that I choose not to. I just can’t stand the “social networking” tools… I like having a few close friends in real life, and have no more interest in making “friends” online than going to a bar to make “friends” there. I don’t believe that either one will lead to REAL friends. I guess it just depends on what you want out of it.

Also, I swear I’m not old or a luddite, but if I want to catch up with a friend I’ll pick up the phone. Even an email is better that these tools… I wouldn’t broadcast a conversation with a friend on a loudspeaker or radio, so why would I want my personal interactions broadcast on the internet, whether it’s public or just within my group of “friends”?

Frankly, with kids, a house, a wife, and a job, where would I find time for this? …and if I had time why would I spend it doing that?

Lastly, it seems the only redeeming reason to be on Twitter (aside from the potential uses in emergency situations) is if you are advertising something, like an author reminding people of a book signing or a band promoting a concert. “Celebrities”, both internet and mainstream, are fairly transparent about the REAL reason they use twitter. Since I don’t have a need to promote myself, why would I want to subject myself to yet ANOTHER vehicle by which I can be bombarded with advertisements?

Ugh, sorry for the rant. Of course, if you have time and enjoy something that doesn’t hurt others, by all means do it. The thoughts above are just the reasons that I choose not to.

]]> By: Gerald Weber http://www.simplemarriage.net/social-media-for-the-socially-inept.html#comment-3600 Gerald Weber Fri, 05 Jun 2009 15:36:22 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=1994#comment-3600 @Pistolete, You talk about adding MORE social sites to your life as if you are already on many many social networking sites. If this is the case I would agree that for the average person more than 2 or 3 social sites is just too much. However being a full time web professional I have tried most of the popular ones and have to say the three mentioned here in my opinion are among the best in term of social value and fun. @Pistolete,

You talk about adding MORE social sites to your life as if you are already on many many social networking sites. If this is the case I would agree that for the average person more than 2 or 3 social sites is just too much. However being a full time web professional I have tried most of the popular ones and have to say the three mentioned here in my opinion are among the best in term of social value and fun.

]]> By: Pistolette http://www.simplemarriage.net/social-media-for-the-socially-inept.html#comment-3599 Pistolette Fri, 05 Jun 2009 14:46:01 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=1994#comment-3599 There is nothing 'simple' about all of that clutter up there. Social networking has become a full time job in itself and I've begun cutting back by deleting most of the sites you mentioned above. The only reason I kept Twitter was in case i had to evacuate for hurricanes, i could let family know where i am via cell phone. I am naturally withdrawn too, but my answer has always been to try and overcome it by jumping into more REAL social situations that require I physically face people. I think that adding more social networking sites to my life at this point would be like indulging a minor mental disorder. It's just not healthy. There is nothing ‘simple’ about all of that clutter up there. Social networking has become a full time job in itself and I’ve begun cutting back by deleting most of the sites you mentioned above. The only reason I kept Twitter was in case i had to evacuate for hurricanes, i could let family know where i am via cell phone.

I am naturally withdrawn too, but my answer has always been to try and overcome it by jumping into more REAL social situations that require I physically face people. I think that adding more social networking sites to my life at this point would be like indulging a minor mental disorder. It’s just not healthy.

]]> By: Chris Wysocki http://www.simplemarriage.net/social-media-for-the-socially-inept.html#comment-3598 Chris Wysocki Fri, 05 Jun 2009 14:30:02 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=1994#comment-3598 Hi Alisa - I think you're right. The advise to email bigger bloggers is bogus. It just keeps cropping up in those lists of "how to build your blog" that we all seem to read and as you noted just leads to frustration. I'm not on Twitter. Should I be? I am on Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/people/Chris-Wysocki/1394903762 Hi Alisa – I think you’re right. The advise to email bigger bloggers is bogus. It just keeps cropping up in those lists of “how to build your blog” that we all seem to read and as you noted just leads to frustration.

I’m not on Twitter. Should I be? I am on Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/people/Chris-Wysocki/1394903762

]]> By: Gerald Weber http://www.simplemarriage.net/social-media-for-the-socially-inept.html#comment-3597 Gerald Weber Fri, 05 Jun 2009 14:22:20 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=1994#comment-3597 Ah Twitter and StumbleUpon 2 of my very favorites. I think they are both a great place to start for newcomers to social media. The cool thing about StumbleUpon is all the very unique/interesting content that I never would have discovered otherwise. The awesome thing about Twitter is all of the awesome people I have met from all around the world. Of course Twitter is also a great place to discover interesting content. Ah Twitter and StumbleUpon 2 of my very favorites. I think they are both a great place to start for newcomers to social media. The cool thing about StumbleUpon is all the very unique/interesting content that I never would have discovered otherwise. The awesome thing about Twitter is all of the awesome people I have met from all around the world. Of course Twitter is also a great place to discover interesting content.

]]> By: Alisa Bowman http://www.simplemarriage.net/social-media-for-the-socially-inept.html#comment-3596 Alisa Bowman Fri, 05 Jun 2009 14:13:53 +0000 http://www.simplemarriage.net/?p=1994#comment-3596 Hi Chris--I think most people feel like misfits. That's why we're online instead of outside at a bar (or some other social place). I'm not sure about that advice about approaching popular bloggers. That sounds a lot like trying to fit in with the cheerleaders and Football captains in HS to me. Sounds frustrating. The big bloggers get tons of email from tons of people. It makes more sense to network with people who are on your level. That's what I do. I don't try to interact with Heather Armstrong or Penelope Trunk or Darren Rowse. I read them. I comment on their blogs. But I don't send them emails. I interact with other bloggers who are just starting out, who are struggling, who are crying tears about various frustrations (we all have them). The only other advice I have dates way back to my 20s when I was trying to overcome my shyness. I read some advice that suggested I make my interactions about the person I was with, and not about me. I think that translates to the online universe. If you make it your goal to help others (inspire them, motivate them, whatever), people will gather around you. Let me know your Twitter handle (you on?). Hi Chris–I think most people feel like misfits. That’s why we’re online instead of outside at a bar (or some other social place). I’m not sure about that advice about approaching popular bloggers. That sounds a lot like trying to fit in with the cheerleaders and Football captains in HS to me. Sounds frustrating. The big bloggers get tons of email from tons of people. It makes more sense to network with people who are on your level. That’s what I do. I don’t try to interact with Heather Armstrong or Penelope Trunk or Darren Rowse. I read them. I comment on their blogs. But I don’t send them emails. I interact with other bloggers who are just starting out, who are struggling, who are crying tears about various frustrations (we all have them).

The only other advice I have dates way back to my 20s when I was trying to overcome my shyness. I read some advice that suggested I make my interactions about the person I was with, and not about me. I think that translates to the online universe. If you make it your goal to help others (inspire them, motivate them, whatever), people will gather around you.

Let me know your Twitter handle (you on?).

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