Stop and smell the roses
What do you do when life hits you hard? When things are going along just fine, and then the phone rings? Bad news. Something terrible has happened. Life at those moments is hard to understand. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why does life involve so much pain? So much grief? So much unknown? So much uncertainty?
I think that if you spend too much time focusing on these questions, it’s easy to get lost in a spiral of compounding questions and emotions. Perspective is key. You can’t go along as if bad things in life do not occur, but to dwell on them only adds to the negative impacts these things already bring about. It is important to acknowledge what is going on and the impact it has on you and those around you. Where’s your focus? Is it far off into the future? Dwelling on the past? Aware of the present?
Carpe diem! Very wise words. Life is meant to be lived in the moment.
This past Sunday my father-in-law passed from this earth after battling brain cancer for over a year. I realize that I am slightly biased, but he was one of the better people to walk this earth. Due to his passing, I have been in Kansas all week with family. While the time has been spent in mourning, there has also been a lot of laughter, joy, peace, and love. In times like this, relationships are front and center. Life is about relationships.
I think what stands out most about my father-in-law is how he lived in the moment within his relationships with his family and friends. As I am writing this, there is a house full of family, church friends, work friends, and neighbors. And it’s been this way for the past two days. Words can not express completely the impact my father-in-law had upon this world. His legacy of loving God and family is how he will best be remembered. Have you thought about what you want your legacy to be? How do you want to be remembered? If you could be among the mourners after your passing, what do you want said?
The beautiful thing about being alive this morning is you get the chance to create the legacy you want starting today. Spend time with your family today, enjoy the weather outside (fall is not far off; cool breezes are on the way). Live today. Live in the moment. Learn to savor life as it is going on. Carpe diem. Seize THIS day!
Corey is the editor of Simple Marriage as well as a licensed marriage & family therapist. While he has a Ph.D. in Family Therapy, he only occasionally likes to be called doctor. If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe so you don't miss any future posts.One Response to “Stop and smell the roses”
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I don’t know how it feels to lose a child or a spouse. I have a friend that buried two infants. I don’t know how one recovers from that. But I also lost a parent to cancer. It isn’t an easy death. I will never forget my mom’s last words as she look at the empty room past my sister and I standing by her bed. She said “Jesus is good.”, then she died. It took the fear of death away and replaced it with the peace of knowing there is more. All the stories are true. That was the last thing my mom taught me about life. What a lesson!
My hubby’s family is so different than mine. In my family everyone comes together when the births are happening and the deaths are imminent. His family isolates its members. They don’t join together to celebrate the births and they let you die alone. I wouldn’t like that. I want to share those things with my family.
My mom died just how she wanted. She had her entire family surrounding her playing her favorite music, holding her hand, talking to her, and loving her the most they could in those few precious moments. I’ll never forget it.
Carpe diem to you too. Time is short.