Simple Marriage | emotions

Forgiveness is a Gift for the Giver and the Receiver

Post written by Lori Lowe of Marriage Gems.

All marriages need forgiveness.

For many, that means forgiving small slights or rude words. Some marriages face the decision of whether to forgive bigger offenses, such as infidelity.

I’ve had the privilege to meet an d hear the stories of a dozen couples who have faced various challenges and who now have remarkable, loving marriages.

One such couple is Ron and Nancy, who overcame infidelity 30 years ago and now have a completely changed marriage. I think one of the more remarkable parts of their story involves the moment the husband decided to forgive his wife for an affair she had with a coworker.

Nancy didn’t ask for or expect forgiveness immediately when she told him about the affair. Her parents invited them for a visit so they could guide them through reconciliation. They helped her to truly confess her wrongdoing to Ron and to ask him for forgiveness.

Then, they gave Ron the time to decide if he could honestly do so without using it against her in the future. The next morning, Ron decided he would indeed forgive her and they would move forward with whatever they needed to do to repair the damage.

Ron explained his feelings while choking up, saying, “The minute she asked for my forgiveness, God passed the pain and sorrow out of my heart.” He adds that the change for him was like being miraculously healed of cancer. Many men have asked him how he was able to be free of anger and jealousy. Ron says they avoided discussing the details of the affair, and he saw the pain and regret in his wife. He also took responsibility for all the ways he had pushed his wife away and treated her poorly.

Another couple’s story includes a husband who was a closet cocaine addict. When he confessed his addiction to his wife, she became very angry and ordered him to move out of their home. He later informed her that he had put them in serious financial debt due to the drug use.

She insisted on a separation and demanded he seek treatment if he would be allowed to visit their son. Thankfully, he did seek and obtain treatment and accepted full responsibility for his actions. Over time, he did his best to repair the situation and apologized profusely. He knew there was only a small chance she would forgive him, but he worked hard knowing the marriage may or may not end up working.

Many months after he completed rehabilitation, his wife did decide to forgive him and to attempt reconciliation.

Free from his cocaine addiction, he became a model father and husband who is eternally grateful for his family and marriage. He helped his wife battle breast cancer years after he became clean. They are a very positive and loving couple and have been open with their children about their struggles.

Today, he says his wife offered forgiveness before he felt he deserved it.

How to Seek Forgiveness

Author and speaker, Dr. Scott Haltzman, offers this advice on forgiveness: “Forgiveness frequently comes at the tail end of an apology, once you have completed the process, and may include spelling out your plans to make amends. It may only be at that point, if at all, that your spouse may be ready grant absolution. He or she should never feel forced to forgive you. Saying, ‘I hope that one day you’ll be able to forgive me,’ or ‘I’d like to ask your forgiveness if that’s possible,’ leaves the door open for your partner to withhold clemency. Granting forgiveness is entirely in your partner’s hands.”

Just because we are married to someone doesn’t mean we can demand immediate forgiveness for wrongdoing. However, expressing remorse, attempting to repair the damage and allowing space and time to the one who was offended can help make forgiveness possible.

Forgiveness can certainly be a gift to the giver and to the receiver.

Withholding forgiveness and holding grudges can be toxic to the offended person.

Forgiveness research by sociologist Greg Easterbrook concludes that “people who do not forgive the wrongs committed against them tend to have negative indicators of well-being, more stress-related disorders, lower immune system function, and worse rates of cardiovascular disease than the population as a whole.”

In short, these emotions poison us from the inside out.

We inherently know that these emotions are bad for us. We feel it when we allow ourselves to be taken away by these feelings (think about the stomach ache or headache that often occurs during a conflict). While we don’t want to become doormats or become taken advantage of, most of us know that we could be more graceful toward our partners when they make a mistake, especially a minor one. Sometimes a spouse doesn’t even know when he or she has done something wrong, and we are already holding a grudge.

Each person has to decide whether or not to offer forgiveness. Often — even when the offense was major – forgiveness can pave the way to an even stronger marriage.

The topic of this post is one of 12 overarching lessons shared in Lori’s new book: First Kiss to Lasting Bliss. For further details on the book, visit LoriLowe.com. Or connect with Lori at Facebook.com/LastingBliss.

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6 tips for self-soothing in marriage

Written by Corey · 13 Comments

Post written by Corey Allan

There are many things that produce stress and tension in marriage.

Could be routine and schedules packed to the brim.

Could be the lack of passion.

Or there’s the miscommunications.

It could also be simply a look or reaction from your spouse.

A lot of our anxiety comes from our expectations and beliefs about relationships.

Many people fall victim to the “if you love me you’ll give up what you want and do what I want” dynamic. Others may fall into the give to get trap.

Regardless of whether or not these or other unhealthy dynamics are present in your marriage, the question is what will you do about it?

Self examination and self reflection in marriage can be difficult and painful.

It can produce agitation, short fuses, a low threshold for emotions. It can also lead to arguments, tension, and distance between you.

But, one of the best, and most loving things you can do in marriage is grow up. And a great step in the growing direction is learning how to quiet and calm yourself in the midst of difficulty and discomfort.

When you are more about to hold onto yourself you can then lean into the conflict in order to create something better … namely, a better you.

Here are some tips to help keep you focused during these times:

Give your dilemma meaning. It’s amazing how much more pain and discomfort we can tolerate when give things and different meaning. Rather than seeing struggles in your relationship as something your spouse is doing to you, focus on trying to change your own life. Hopefully the belief that marriage is designed to grow us up into better people helps make better meanings of our struggles.
If you can’t regulate your emotions, control your behavior. Stop talking. Concentrate on your breathing. Lower your heart rate. Lower your volume and relax your body. If you find yourself saying, “Maybe I shouldn’t say this, but …” take your own advice.
Don’t take your spouse’s behavior (or lack of response) personal. No sense making things harder than they have to be. Focus on increasing a more solid sense of self.
Calming down may mean you break contact. Taking a break is a successful strategy, provided it’s a break and not an avoidance. Take the time to self-soothe and recharge, not veg out and disengage completely. One thing that helps ensure it’s just a break is offer to schedule a time to reconnect when you break.
Use time apart from your spouse effectively. Use time apart to replenish yourself. Exercise, read, create something, spend time in a hobby, do something productive. Outside interests can calm and refuel you, depending on how you use them. Note: Time spent apart commiserating about marital issues with friends isn’t really time apart from your spouse.
Stop negative mental tapes. Humans are great at replaying thoughts from childhood and past experiences. Take a moment and break the pattern by focusing on your surroundings: you’re not a child anymore, you’re also not in the same state of relationship as before … truth is you’ve grow, matured, evolved. So has your spouse. Be present. Sort through your thoughts and emotions and breathe in and out.

Calming yourself and working through issues in marriage is the process of growth at work. Not every strategy will work in every situation. The point is, discover what helps you stay involved and connected.

Avoiding a situation in marriage and life is a terrible form of self-soothing. In the end, you end up less developed with less of a relationship.

Source: Schnarch, D. (2009) Intimacy and desire. Beaufort Books: New York
(photo source)

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Expectations equal unhappiness

Written by Mary Ann · 18 Comments

Whatever you focus on, grows.

So how much time and energy do you spend focused on your expectations?

A good working definition of expectations is planned disappointment. And expectations are directly correlated with happiness, or more aptly, unhappiness.

When what we expect to happen does not happen, we are disappointed and we suffer pain at some level. The greater the expectation, the greater the pain.

Ironically, we are also likely to be unhappy even when our expectations ARE met!

I shall explain.

We are most grateful for the good things that come our way that we did not expect to happen.

If you expect your spouse to help with the housework, you will be disappointed, mad, sad, or angry when your spouse does not help you with the housework, but you won’t necessarily be grateful when your spouse does help with the housework. Depending on your history together, you may be

Pleased – “I’m glad we’re doing this together.”
Surprised – “I can’t believe you actually mopped the floor!”
Justified – “I do my share and you need to do your share.”
Vindicated – “It’s about time you started pulling your weight!”

When you are dog tired at the end of the day, and you walk in to find your spouse cleaning the kitchen, or putting the kids to bed when you expected them to be home late – that’s when you feel truly grateful – because you were not expecting the help!

When you are truly grateful for something, you cannot help but feel happiness.

Gratitude is the key to happiness and anything that undermines gratitude must undermine happiness. And nothing undermines gratitude as much as expectations. The more expectations you have, the less gratitude you will have. ~ Dennis Prager

Expectations and gratitude are opposite sides of the same coin.

Where do our expectations come from?

Our expectations are the confused result of our reactions, our thoughts, and our emotional heritage. We confuse wants with needs, anticipation with expectation, loneliness with emptiness, touch with sex, talk with communication, ideals with reality, and self with relationships.

We confuse what we can get only from within ourselves with what we can get only from a relationship.

This confusion drives us to continually

try to get from someone else what we can get only from ourselves,
or try to get from ourselves what we can get only from a relationship.

No matter how hard or long we try, we will never be complete in this life.

We cannot be complete as an individual, and we cannot be complete by marrying or having children.

We cannot be completely secure emotionally nor can we know everything about any one thing.

When we are fixated on finding completeness in this life, we become so anxious that we either aim for absolute safety or we stay paralyzed for fear of not getting it [completeness].

The expectation that we can be complete and the desperate search for it leads people to attempt the impossible. The fantasy world is full of the illusion of completeness – which leads people to drugs, sex, alcohol, money, conflict, helplessness, power – all of the world’s ills.

We’re all a little lonely, we all feel some sense of inadequacy, some fear of failure – in other words, we all feel some emptiness.

This is a natural state of being, and in my Christian worldview, designed by God to draw us to Him.

Growing up – becoming emotionally mature – is all about how we handle the uncertainty – the incompleteness – of life. When we are able to accept and understand that this emptiness is a natural part of being human, we are on the path to a better life.

The less aware we are of our own emptiness, the more unrealistically we raise our level of expectations on others. High expectations become hypersensitive and emotionally reactive. So much focus is placed on what others are or are not doing that there is little time left for self-focus.

The more successfully we can lower our expectations of others, the more time we have to develop our personal sense of responsibility – and the more effort we put into living up to our personal responsibilities, the more we experience responsibility as joy and fulfillment.

Unhappiness is trading what we want most for what we want now.

We want whatever makes us uncomfortable – our anxieties, our insecurities, our challenges – we want that discomfort to go away RIGHT NOW. But deep down, what we want most is to be more – more loving, more forgiving, more compassionate, and more grateful.

Make gratitude a habit.

Write down three things everyday that you are grateful for –– and see how many days you can come up three things to be grateful for – without repeating yourself!
Get a copy of The Simple Abundance Journal of Gratitude by Sarah Ban Breathnach and write in it everyday for a year.
Write your gratitudes on post-it notes and stick them around the house, in the car, in your spouse/kids’ lunch bags . . . surround yourself with reminders of what you have to be grateful for.
Send a note to everyone that helped you in some way this year – and start with those closest to you – your spouse, your kids, your parents, and your siblings.

Whatever you focus on, grows.

Grow your happiness by lowering your expectations and growing your gratefulness.

Another great read on this idea can be found here: Toss your expectations into the ocean.

Prager, D. 1998. Happiness is a serious problem.
Fogarty, T.F. 1978. On emptiness and closeness. In The Family, Compendium I.
(photo source)

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Are you a cool parent?

Written by Corey · 15 Comments

I haven’t written on parenting in a while … the reason is simple, I believe when you focus on your marriage first – your kids reap the benefit.

The greatest thing you can do for your kids is learn to focus on yourself.

Let me say that again, the greatest thing you can do for your kids is learn to focus on yourself.

Who would you say is in charge in most families?

Is it the parents or the kids?

In America, the answer is the latter. Take a look around at the cars beside you as you drive down the road. The stickers plastered on the back window and bumpers tell the tale of child focus as the latest status symbol in America. We’re broadcasting our Trophy Kids, the same way we broadcast our affluence by wearing labels with someone else’s name all over our clothes, jewelry, shoes, etc.

Think of the time spent running kids to and from one event to the next (some days I fell like that’s all I do). Our days are filled with events geared solely for the kids. Family life in America has moved from “Children should be seen and not heard” to “No adult conversation possible.” And the kids know it too.

Who’s in charge? Who gets their way? What is the organizing force in family life – the life of the adults . . . or the kids?

Is it possible that too much focus can be on the kids? Absolutely!

And it’s this over-focus that is harmful to them, the family… and you.

Here’s something you may not know – the kids that function best in life – in relationships, education, careers – are the kids that were most free of child focus during their growing up years.

Child focus can be negative – the scapegoated kid who can do nothing right — or positive – the golden child who can do no wrong.

The results of either kind of child focus are a lifetime of struggle.

The kid left to find his/her own way [NOT absent affection and NOT neglected] is the one best prepared to deal directly with life.

I know you’ve been there. A couple of years ago, I’m walking down the isle of Target with my 3 and 1 1/2 year old. Now possibly this was set up because I was allowing them to walk rather than ride, but no matter.

As we progress through the isles, wouldn’t you know it that something caught my 3 year olds eye. I can’t remember what it was but it must have been pink and princessey. She made sure I saw it as well and then the negotiations commenced (it’s quite amazing that a 3 year old is such a good negotiator).

So here I am, battling it out in the court room of the isle at Target. And it’s starting to intensify.

“Honey, put that back, we’re not going to buy that toy.”

“But I need this daddy!”

“No honey, you don’t.”

And we’re off.

You know where this is heading. The tears soon follow (from her, not me, although there are times I wish I could) and the tantrum pressure cooker is warming up. I’m beginning to feel trapped.

Add to this pressure building inside myself, I’m a licensed family therapist, my skills are now on display for all of Target to see.

What the kids need at a moment like this is a parent who can keep his cool. A parent able to calm himself down allows a child to explore his or her full range of emotions without spiraling out of control.

What happens with many of the blow ups between parent and child is the result of parents who lose their cool.

When a parent reacts on the level of the child, it’s bound to go bad.

What do you do?

Focus more on yourself. This is not at the cost of others, it’s FOR others. When you are at your best, you are able to give the best of yourself to others.
Do what you need to calm down without taking it out on the kids. Start by taking several deep breaths. Get a drink of water. Walk a short distance from your child, or to another room and calm down. Not every situation needs to be addressed immediately.
In fact, one of the great tools for misbehavior is the delayed consequence. This gives you time to calm down and think things through. You might even collaborate with a few friends about what would be an appropriate consequence for the given situation. Meanwhile, your child has the opportunity to think about what’s to come, thus increasing the weight of the bad choice. This works well with older kids and teenagers. Remember, you’re not raising a puppy and you don’t have to catch them in the act in order for an appropriate consequence to teach a valuable life lesson.
Let the child handle more of their own problems. When a child comes to you needing help with their homework, what do you do? Do you do it for them? One of the main things growing up entails is struggle, and the struggle to grow up continues across our lifespan. Homework is supposed to be difficult. Learning to accomplish any task takes effort and work. The more a parent clears the path for the child, the more unprepared for the real world the child becomes. It’s important to be alongside them through their struggle, but as a support, not a snowplow.
Let natural consequences teach the lessons. Give up the goal of being liked by your kids – parenting is not a popularity contest – it’s not for wimps – it’s a sacred charge to be in charge. Let the consequences do the screaming. They didn’t do their homework, let the low score teach the lesson. Meanwhile, you are an understanding and empathetic ear for them to talk to. You get to support them, not necessarily their choice.

(photo source)

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5 Ways to Know It’s Time to Quit Your Job

Written by Dustin · 13 Comments

Quit Your Job

Post written by money and career columnist Dustin Riechmann of Engaged Marriage.

There are few things that affect our home life and our marriage as directly as our work.

In today’s economy, it may seem like we should just be content to have a job and not worry about “luxuries” such as fulfillment and happiness. But you owe it to yourself and to your spouse to do everything you can to find enjoyment at work.

After all, you’re likely to spend the majority of your waking hours there, and it’s impossible to separate your career from your family life. A happy work life feeds a happy home life.

Hopefully, you have a steady job or are sustainably self-employed. If you’re out of work or struggling to make ends meet, then obviously you really are in a position where you’ll be happy to just have a job.

But for the rest of us who aren’t facing an income crisis, I strongly encourage you to give this topic some thought.

5 Signs It Might Be Time to Move On

If you’re experiencing the following, it’s probably time to dust off your resume:

1. Your energy is drained

When things aren’t going so well, even a desk job can make you feel exhausted at the end of the day. If you arrive home and have no energy to play with your kids or pursue other interests, it could be that your job is draining your mojo. When work gets particularly stressful, your libido and sex life can even suffer.

Typically, I’d prescribe some metabolism-boosting exercise for renewed energy, but when your career is not going well, you may find your job is sucking more life out of you than you can replace with healthy habits.

2. You feel disrespected

If you’ve been at a job for a while, you can certainly get complacent in your work ethic. But complacency works both ways, and you may find that your employer takes you for granted and makes you feel under-appreciated.

Whether it’s complacency or simply a poor work environment, if you feel disrespected, it’s definitely time to start looking elsewhere. Life is too short to spend 8+ hours every day doing something that doesn’t earn you respect.

3. You feel called elsewhere

You may simply feel called by God to take a new direction in your career. Whether you give it religious connotations or not, if you find a persistent, nagging voice telling you to look elsewhere or a real enthusiasm for something new, don’t ignore it.

Take the time to explore the other options and, even if you stay where you are, at least you’ll calm your mind and answer the call.

4. Your spouse notices you’re not happy

This is a biggie. Your husband or wife knows you better than anyone, and if they start to notice that your career has you feeling down, stressed or unfulfilled, there’s a good chance that something is awry.

If you have healthy communication with your spouse, they’ll pick up quickly when something has you down or simply “off” your game. Listen to their insights and avoid being defensive when they suggest that you need to (collectively) start taking a hard look at your career status.

5. Your job performance is dropping

In a twist of irony, your clue that it’s time to look at other career options may actually come from your employer.

When you feel uninspired and unfulfilled in your work, it’s only natural that your job performance can suffer. If you’ve been a stellar worker but have recently started to get less done or have seen declining reviews, it might be a sign that you need a fresh start elsewhere.

Been There, Done That

I actually found myself in this situation recently after 10 years at an employer that I had loved. As both the job and our priorities at home started to change, I encountered all five of these indicators to varying degrees.

It was difficult and scary to even talk about leaving the security of a long-held professional position. However, in hindsight, I can see that it was absolutely the right choice, as it not only changed my own career but opened the door for major changes for my wife and our entire family’s lifestyle.

I would never suggest making any rash decisions or jumping from the boat until you’ve pretty clearly defined where you will be landing. However, if you’re starting to feel the pull to explore other options, I say it’s time to start looking.

You owe it to your marriage to be happy in your work.

Have you experienced voluntary career changes? What signs pointed you in a new direction? Please share in the comments.

(photo source)

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Focus on the how not the what

Written by Corey · 10 Comments

What is it that creates the intensity in certain conversations with your spouse?

What moves a conversation between two people from the issue at hand into personal meltdown?

Emotional reactivity.

But this isn’t all bad, emotional reactivity also turns out to be nature’s way of informing us of where we are on the path of emotional maturity (another way of thinking about growing up and differentiation).

One of the measuring tools for getting clear about how much growing up you have to do is time to reactivity – how quickly do you lose it?

How easy is it to push your buttons?

How many buttons do you have that can be pushed?

How often do you stoop to pushing your partner’s buttons – either to have it your way or just to keep them from having it their way?

Usually the issue (call it the what) triggers some difference between you and your spouse that creates tension – more for one spouse and less for the other. The more important the what is to you, the quicker you become emotionally reactive.

Your energy will be intensely focused on the outcome of the what – either by getting what you want, or by getting your spouse to validate your wants.

A major shift can occur when you “get it” – the what is actually an indicator of your emotional maturity.

At this point, you have two choices – Read more »

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Marital Gridlock And Growing Up

Written by Corey

Yesterday’s post on marital gridlock was a bit heavy. I realized going in to the topic that it would be a difficult concept to convey. Today, I want to clarify a bit more about gridlock and its role in growing up within marriage.

First, lets reinforce the belief that marriage is indeed designed to grow us up into better people. It’s not about happiness, or completion, or stability – it’s about growth. These aspects are present at times, but they’re not the ultimate purpose of marriage.

If you buy into this belief, then you have to add to it the fusion fantasy we all bring into marriage. The belief that we will be one with our partner and live a tightly choreographed life together. As if we could read their mind, or they could read ours. The illusion of this connection is the source of much of the marital discord and gridlock in marriage.

To break free you must recognize the separateness between you and your spouse, and not react to the fear this separateness can produce.

So, marriage is about growing up and the mechanism for our growth is the constant push and pull of our own desire for separateness and togetherness with our spouse. Gridlock in marriage results, and is increased, when we believe we can get our spouse to come around to our way of thinking on an issue. As if when they see our point of view they will accommodate us and the issue will go away.

Reality is, a majority of issues in marriage will not go away. In fact, John Gottman has discovered that roughly 2/3s of the issues we face in marriage are perpetual.

So if our problems won’t go away and my spouse isn’t going to think the same way as me (or always accommodate for my way of wanting things) what am I left to do?

There are four possible responses:

Dominate my partner,
Submit to my partner,
Withdraw physically or emotionally from the relationship, or
Grow up.

David Schnarch refers to this kind of dilemma as a crucible – a severe test of our selfhood and personal integrity that is built into emotionally committed relationships.

So how exactly does this play out in the process of marriage? Let’s look at the fictional story of a married couple.

Steve married Michelle when they were in their early 20s. Neither had experienced the world nor life on their own away from their family of origin, and both entered marriage with the naive belief that life would be wedded bliss, aside from the silly arguments that occasionally would surface.

Steve realized early on the push and pull his relationship with Michelle had on him and he fought the forces by avoiding, both emotionally and physically. He would seek out Michelle when he wanted something from her, and push her away or avoid her when she wanted something from him.

It wasn’t long before some chronic issues surfaced between them – particularly in sex and sexual desire.

There were heated discussions surrounding their differences in desire for sex. Michelle frequently avoided the discussion and rarely initiated sex (or fully engaged in the sex that occurred) because sex was largely focused on Steve’s needs, not hers.

Steve and Michelle fell into the common and ineffective pattern of sexual interaction referred to by Schnarch as the devil’s pact. Steve would complain that Michelle never initiated sex, to which Michelle would respond, “You never give me the chance to initiate because you’re always initiating.”

So Steve and Michelle made the fateful agreement that Steve would stop initiating sex so Michelle could be more forthcoming with her desire.

It makes sense, doesn’t it? Create a vacuum and the low desire partner will fill it because they’re no longer pressured by the high desire partner.

It doesn’t work in practice because it doesn’t fundamentally change the system – in fact, it reinforces the status quo. Initially, Michelle didn’t initiate because she enjoyed not feeling pressured to have sex, plus, she wanted the sex to be meaningful and pleasurable rather than simply a catering to her husband. As the days passed however, Michelle felt more and more pressure because of her awareness of Steve’s growing frustration. Since one purpose of the pact was to keep Michelle from feeling pressured, she could feel entitled to not initiate because she still felt pressured. Michelle wouldn’t initiate sex because she refused to capitulate to Steve who could seemingly pressure for sex by not initiating.

To break free of gridlock, Steve and Michelle had to face to difficult personal truths. It was easier for Michelle to say, “I just don’t like sex” than it was for her to say to her husband, “I don’t like sex with you. I get very little pleasure out of it.”

Once the emotional gridlock was in place, it was easier for them to live within their comfort level than to tolerate the discomfort and anxiety surrounding their individual growth. But it’s this tolerating of anxiety that is necessary for the relationship to move forward.

Growth in their marriage required each of them to live according to their individual strength and integrity. To discover the deeper parts of themselves, and at times, create the deeper part of themselves.

When Steve faced his selfish sexual style it forced him to become accountable for his unrealistic view of sex (shaped largely by his struggle with pornography), and his deep fear of being unable to truly satisfy his wife’s sexual desires. By keeping the focus on himself and spectatoring (focusing on performance rather than connection) throughout the encounters, he kept the emotional levels at a tolerable level. When Michelle upped her presence and began speaking up about what she wanted during sex, this forced Steve to face his own “inadequacy” fears.

At the same time, Michelle was struggling through her growth into viewing herself as a sexual being rather than a sexual object. She had to develop the ability to speak up for her wants, not just in sex but other areas of her life as well. She had to face head on her dependence on Steve and her fear of being emotionally betrayed or hurt by him.

Today, Steve and Michelle still deal with desire differences, but Steve recognizes more of the subtle initiations Michelle makes towards sex and Michelle recognizes Steve’s desire to be closer to Michelle on an emotional level outside of the bedroom. They both recognize the improved presence of each of them during sex and marriage.

Have the desire differences gone away? No. Will they? No. Has their marriage improved? Yes. Has sex improved? Yes. Can it get even better? That’s what they’re still growing up towards!

(photo source)
Sources:
David Schnarch, Constructing the Sexual Crucible

Ask The Readers: What Are You Thankful For This Year?

Written by Corey · 10 Comments

This is likely the most obvious ask the reader ever.

Thanksgiving is upon us in the states and many families will be gathering together to eat, talk, laugh, and enjoy each other for a couple of days. So in the spirit of the season, I ask you:

What are you thankful for this year?

Me? I’m grateful for God’s graciousness, my wife, kids, family, relationships with friends and you the loyal reader.

Oh, and apple pie. Which I’ll be eating a lot of the next couple of days.

Hope your holiday is safe and enjoyable. Blessings.

Photo courtesy riptheskull

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