Simple Marriage | married life

“A Simple Marriage” Launches Today!

Five years into our marriage my wife and I found ourselves sitting at a food court in the mall one afternoon staring at each other. At that time we didn’t really like each other. Love was still present. But we were seemingly heading in different directions.

We discussed how if some things didn’t change between us, we probably weren’t going to make it. That moment is largely responsible for the marriage we’ve created today. It’s also what has led to the writing of my book, A Simple Marriage, which launches today!

This book is designed to assist you and your spouse in creating the marriage you desire.

It’s filled with questions and exercises to work on separately and together. These exercises provide a framework to view what goes on naturally in marriage and committed relationships. Once you have a good view, you can harness the energy and dynamics between you to experience more than you thought possible in marriage! Read more »

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How Twitter May Tweak Your Relationships

Written by Corey · 12 Comments

photo credit: prakhar

Have you ever wondered if Twitter could improve things at home? Or with your kids?

With the addition of social networks in the past few years, it’s amazing how easy it has become to stay “connected” to other people. I’m currently only on Facebook and Twitter (@simplemarriage). But with countless other avenues to use for connection, how could these mediums be used to improve, or perhaps even save your relationship with your significant other?

I realize that many people use Twitter for the networking or marketing aspect of its design. It’s a great way to generate a buzz about a product or service you can provide. It’s also a way to expand your network of influence and influencers.

But what if Tweets were used to tweak your relationships? Or your parenting?

I shall explain. Read more »

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8 Principles for a Zen Marriage

Written by Corey · 12 Comments

Photo courtesy catmadogma

A year ago on Simple Marriage: originally posted April 16, 2008.

For over a year now I have been a Zen Habits follower. In fact I have even used some of Leo’s work on Simple Marriage. Recently Leo wrote a post on how to live like a Zen Monk. Which got me thinking about how a couple could create a Zen Marriage.

To begin, what exactly would a Zen Marriage look like and why would anyone want to experience one?

Zen Monks devote their lives to being present in everything they do and to serving others. So why experience a Zen Marriage? Who among us wouldn’t benefit from a life and relationship with more focus, peace, simplicity, and mindfulness? As well as life at a slower more deliberate pace.

Thich Nhat Hanh simplified the rules of the Zen life in just a few words; “Smile, breathe and go slowly.” My wife and I have adopted this as a mantra. Read more »

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Do you have your feelings? Or do your feelings have you?

Written by Mary Ann · 8 Comments

photo credit: Scarleth White

Editor’s Note: This post is by Simple Marriage contributor Mary Ann Crossno.

Have you ever thought about the difference in the meanings of the words emotions and feelings? Most people, when asked to describe how these words are different, are stumped. A common answer is that emotions are stronger and more intense than feelings. Lots of people think the words are interchangeable.

How often do you hear yourself saying, “You make me feel . . .” and the end of the sentence depends on the feeling of the day, the hour, or the minute!

You make me feel like a million dollars.

You make me feel worthless.

You make me feel beautiful and sexy.

You make me so angry! So happy! So sad! So mad! So bad! So glad!

You make me feel like I don’t do anything all day long.

How old were you when you first had the thought that you would love to get off the roller coaster of high feelings and low feelings that you seem to have no control over? Read more »

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Essential Rules for Traveling Light in Marriage

Written by Corey · 5 Comments

Photo courtesy Cindy and Robert

A year ago on Simple Marriage: originally posted April 8, 2008.

This past weekend my wife and I traveled to Florida for a family wedding with our two kids, ages 1 and 3, in tow. Admittedly, before the trip we were both apprehensive.

Would we be asked to get off the plane at one of our layover stops due to one of our kids “loosing it” during the flight? Would something happen that we hadn’t planned on while at the hotel?

To prepare for all possible occurrences, we packed too much stuff. This was confirmed when we had a 30 minute layover in Houston and our next flight left from a different terminal.

Upon returning home after the trip, my wife and I discussed what we learned. Read more »

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The Value Of Values

Written by guest · 18 Comments

photo credit: thinkpublic

Editor’s Note: This post is by Tim Brownson of The Discomfort Zone.

I don’t do joint life coaching anymore. Actually that’s not entirely true, I do very occasionally do so after I’ve done the kind of client vetting that would have hardened CIA operatives purring with pride and admiration.

It wasn’t always like that. Until about 3 years ago I was happy to take on singles, couple or even triples if necessary, although the latter never actually happened. Then one day I made the tragic error of doing a joint value elicitation with a husband and wife.

A value elicitation is the process of working out what the core values of a person are. It is the single most important thing I do with clients because it not only allows me to understand what makes them tick, but for them to understand themselves a lot better too.

I’ve only once had a client come to me in almost 5 years knowing exactly what her core values were. Most people flap around in the dark and often feel stuck by knowing something is wrong in their life, but not knowing what it is. Read more »

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Connecting In Order To Have The Best Marriage

Written by guest · 9 Comments

photo credit: seanmcgrath

Editor’s Note: This post is by Sean Platt of Writer Dad.

My wife and I have been together for a dozen years. We have two children, the youngest starting kindergarten in the fall. We work side by side, seven days a week, building our future and celebrating our past. I am fortunate to have an unbelievably healthy marriage and I’d be a fool if I didn’t recognize what renders it so and do all I can to keep adding fuel to the fire.

A strong commitment to consistent communication is key to a thriving marriage. Your spouse is with you forever; richer, poorer, sickness, and health. Trusting them in every measure is the best thing you can do to strengthen what you already have.

Not too long ago, I was with a group of friends, telling a story. In the middle of the narrative one of my friends shot me the sort of look that leaves little room for interpretation. He wanted me to stop telling the story – immediately. I acquiesced, awkwardly shifted gears, and drove the direction of dialogue in the opposite direction. Later, when my friend and I were alone, he explained that he knew where I was going with the story, but there was a particular part he didn’t want me to say out loud. Read more »

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How To Live Longer, Stay Healthier, Have More Money And Great Sex

Written by Corey · 10 Comments

photo credit: sharaff

At the risk of preaching to the choir, do you want to know the secret to living longer, staying healthier, earning more money and having great sex?

Get married and stay married.

Marriage has been beat up lately in our society. It’s used as a punch-line or a political hot button whenever it serves a group’s particular purpose. The interesting thing is, on the whole, most people aren’t anti-marriage.

Simple Marriage is a big proponent of marriage (duh!). Where else can you find the best mechanism to grow-up and experience more in life than marriage? Yet research shows people are waiting longer to marry and around half of all marriages in America still end in divorce.

In spite of this, marriage offers many benefits that can’t be found anywhere else. Read more »

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