Are You Making These Marriage Mistakes?

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Over 15 years of my life has been spent in marriage. Overall, these years have been good, if not great at times. There are other times however, when marriage has been anything but good. Sadly, a majority of these times where brought on by my own stupidity.

I’ve made many of the following mistakes throughout the course of my marriage. Thankfully I have a loving and forgiving wife.

As a rule, remember that everyone makes mistakes. Every marriage  has arguments. Every marriage also has highs and lows.

The important thing is, how the ebb and flow of marriage is addressed.

We’ve written before about the marriage killers as well as the secret to a lasting marriage, but how the mistakes we make in marriage are addressed is key to improving your relationship. These repair attempts and bids for relationship are an important part of a fulfilling marriage for both partners.

We’ll cover the idea of repair attempts and relationship bids in coming posts, until then, let’s look at the common mistakes made in marriage. Read more »

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The Art of Marital Conversation

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Photo courtesy Herman Hernandez

Editor’s Note: This is a rewrite of a post from April 28, 2008.

The problem with communication … is the illusion that it has been accomplished.
~George Bernard Shaw

The day at work has been horrific. Emails never stopped. The voicemail light kept flashing. The boss needed the information yesterday. And to top it all off, you had a fight with your wife as you left this morning.

You feel the tension coming from the house when you get out of your car in the driveway. The kids are in their rooms doing homework and your wife approaches you and says the words most men dread: “We need to talk.”

It seems at this moment, most men have the fight or flight response. I can berate her about the timing of things, continue to insist that I’m right and she’s wrong. Or I can shrug it off and disappear with the TV, the Internet, alcohol, or the work I conveniently brought home.

What is it about talking that is so difficult? Granted, this does not apply to everyone, but most of us have some trouble with deep conversation. Especially when it comes to conversing with our spouse. Read more »

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Man Up: How To Answer The Question, What Do You Do?

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Photo courtesy Kaka & Epli

While at a social event, you find yourself standing next to a guy you don’t know all that well. He approaches you and you know the question that’s coming, “So… what do you do?” As males, its hardwired into our genetics to ask this within the first few minutes of any conversation with someone we’ve just met.

The default answer to this question is to use your job title, especially if you are proud of the status associated with your job. If not, there are more colorful descriptions used. I’m a resource manager for the city (trash collector) or I’m a petroleum transfer engineer (gas station attendant).

What is it that makes us men become defined by our jobs? Since when have we become only what we do for a living? It’s like being a father or husband is not good enough. Read more »

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12 Ways to Have an Unhappy Marriage

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Photo courtesy ValerioY2K

If you go to your local Barnes and Noble, or whatever bookstore you frequent, usually somewhere in the middle of the store you can find a relationships and marriage section. This area is often filled with everything from Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts to How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It.

With all the information out there regarding how to have a successful marriage, what makes the principles so hard to incorporate and apply? Granted, marriage is not so easy that there is a definitive formula that everyone can follow to discover a marriage out of this world. It still requires work and there will still be struggles.

A lasting marriage can be attained and it’s simpler than you think.

Beyond the idea of simply creating a marriage that lasts there is the joy and pleasure a marriage fully alive can provide for both participants. There are no actual steps that everyone can follow to an extremely happy marriage, but there are some sure fire ways to create an unhappy marriage. Read more »

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