Budgeting For Lazy People

A year ago on Simple Marriage: originally posted July 20, 2008 and considering all the news about the economy this can be a good refresher.

I married a CPA. At the risk of offending the CPA society, your brains are just wired differently than the rest of us. That is definitely the case with my wife.

I consider myself to be fairly good with numbers, and I did well in Math back in school, but I’m not in the league of the CPA. Although I do find great pleasure when my checkbook balances and hers is off a few cents. She returns the joy by poking fun at how long it takes me to complete the 1 star Sudoku puzzle.

For the life of our marriage, she preferred to live within a budget. In the early years of our marriage I would enter the discussions kicking and screaming. I always felt a budget was far too limiting. I didn’t want to cramp my style.

Needless to say, my attitude helped get us in a financial hole.

The two most common topics fought over in marriage are money and sex. I’ve written plenty of times on the sex topic, now it’s time to tackle the money.

When it comes to budgeting, there are those that live by one and those of us that swear tomorrow we are going to sit down and write one out. The intention is honest, we just have trouble following through.

So how do you set up a budget you’ll actually follow?

Glad you asked. To begin, remember this one simple rule: Spend less money than you make.

Now that we covered the main idea, let’s create a simple budget that even the greatest procrastinators can follow (if they ever get around to it).

Step 1: Have a conversation with your cash.
We place meaning on the things in life. Money is no different. What does your money mean to you? What value does it provide? Beyond money’s providing of the basic necessities like food, shelter, and keeping Mr. Tax Man from visiting, what’s your money for? Security. Fun. Power. Fame. Understanding the meaning we place on money can go a long way in helping you get your money under control.

Step 2: Where’s you money go?
Every budget begins with an understanding of where your money goes on a day-to-day basis. Don’t skip this step. If you don’t know where it all goes, you won’t be able to determine where you want it to go.

There are two ways to go about this step: the CPA way, where you track your spending for at least three months, inputting every penny in a multi-category, macro-enabled Excel spreadsheet, then pouring over every debit and credit each night, or can do this the lazy person’s way.

Lazy it is! For those who use credit cards for most of their spending (paid off in full each month of course) or if you use a debit card, review the monthly statements and categorize your spending areas. Some cards will do this already.

If you live on cold hard cash, write down all your expenditures for one week. You can then multiply these numbers by 4 (there’s that pesky math again) in order to get a rough idea of where your cash goes. This method obviously is leaving out the major monthly expenses like house, car, insurance and the like. Simply add these numbers to the monthly estimate. Simple eh?

If you chose the CPA way, at this point you would add up each column of the spreadsheet, run the macro/algorithm you’ve created in your spare time on Friday night, and analyze the results by running the final numbers through the statistical program you’re bound to have on your laptop.

Step 3: Plan to spend your cash.
Now that you have an idea where your money goes, it’s time to spend your hard earned cash. Not literally yet. Sorry. Instead, make a list of expenses for the upcoming three to six months. Things like vacations, car tune ups, or planning for paying off debt, saving, or investing in your favorite mutual fund. Do the same for long-term plans, two to five years out.

You now have a spending plan. Be sure to leave a little room for the unexpected cash you’re sure to need at times. Like when your car breaks down or your in-laws decide to move in for a few months.

Step 4: That pesky math again.
With your spending plan in front of you, add in items from your “wish list.” Then calculate what these items would run you on a monthly basis. For instance, for the upcoming family vacation, divide the total cost of the trip by the number of months until the trip. Viola, you have a way to prepare for the trip and pay for it as you go.

Step 5: Save money the no-brainer way.
This is really simple. Visit your bank and set up an automatic monthly transfer of money from your checking account to savings. This could be as little as $20 a month. No worries. Put something into savings every month.

Step 6: Cut out the frivolous spending.
The list of “must have” items is endless. In order to curb the frivolous purchase’s impact on your overall spending plans, try the “envelope” system. It’s easy:

  • Come up with a reasonable weekly amount you’ll allow yourself to spend in your biggest categories. (Those are typically “food” (or, depending on your lifestyle, get more specific such as “lunch,” “family dinners out”), “entertainment” (e.g. happy hours, movies, tabloids to pass the time), “transportation” (gas, parking, taxis, public transportation), “apparel/services” (dry cleaning, bangs trim, cute shoes.)
    For guidance, consider that the four biggest budget categories for typical American household are housing (34%), transportation (18%), food (13%) and entertainment (4%).
  • Create envelopes for each of those categories.
  • Put the allotted amount of cash to cover a week’s or month’s worth of expenses into each envelope. (You don’t have to carry the entire wad with you every day, but do make sure you don’t cheat with extra visits to the ATM.)
  • Once the cash is gone, so is your weekly stipend.

Remember, once you get a handle on your finances, you’ll free up more time to worry and fight about other things. But look at this way, you’ll have more money to go out on a nice date in order to make up.

Thanks to the Motley Fool for the steps to this plan.
Photo courtesy auntsmack4u

15 Ideas To Improve Love And Marriage During Tough Economic Times

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Tess Marshall of The Bold Life.

For months we’ve been hearing about job loss, foreclosures, downsizing, homelessness, and lack of work. Many can’t pay their bills or afford health and car insurance. Others have lost their retirement savings.

How has this affected families?

The strain of the recession has taken a toll on relationships causing increased stress, anxiety and depression. Because nobody knows what the future holds uncertainty, fear and doubt also prevail.

Whether you’ve lost your job or not everyone is discovering the need to cut back, become more frugal and live a simpler life.

80% of the people who have lost jobs are men. We live in a society where men are expected to play the role of economic provider. When men lose their jobs they lose their status as a provider and often feel like failures.

Many wives have become the sole provider in relationships, often feeling totally responsible and pressured to bring home more income.

Children who normally have excess now need to adjust to having less. Parents feel guilty for not being able to provide like they have in the past.

Our economy offers us an opportunity to grow, become stronger, and keep our marriage happy, healthy and intact.

What are we to do?

  1. Work as a team. When change is difficult we often forget we are on each other’s side!
    Refuse to work against your spouse. Pay bills together and agree on the changes that need to be made. Stand united for your children, don’t allow them to get in between.
  2. Communicate. Be gentle with each other. Change can be very difficult. Watch your tone, intention and words when you speak. “We will make a plan to get through this” vs. “why can’t you find a job?” Speak honestly about loss and feelings.
  3. Make a plan and commit to the plan. Create a budget together. Take care of all of your needs. Eliminate restaurant meals, movies, golf, $4 coffees and spa treatments; these are “wants.” Barter and trade what you need with members of your community.
  4. Realize these are choices not sacrifices. Refuse to be a victim, “Poor me I can’t _________anymore. (Fill in the blank)
  5. Delay gratification. Shopping is often used to dull emotional pain. Instead learn to save for what you want. Don’t think of cutting back on extras as a punishment. It’s a necessary step to survive.
  6. Make things special again. Give gifts and eat at restaurants only on birthdays and holidays and only if you can afford them.
  7. Become flexible with parenting and household responsibilities. As roles and dynamics shift between spouses take 100% responsibility, be flexible and go the extra mile.
  8. Appreciate each other. Focus on the character traits, sense of humor, and other reasons you fell in love. Say thank you to each others at least twice a day.
  9. Establish a routine. If you need a job spend at least thirty five hours a week searching. Make a list and time block your activities. Take 15 minute breaks and give yourself time to each lunch. Your job now is to find a job.
  10. Exercise daily. Exercise will release endorphins in your brain and decrease stress. Do it the same time daily. While walking, running or biking focus on gratitude.
  11. Pray or meditate together. Create the time and include these activities in your routine. You will feel refreshed and hopeful.
  12. Expect a miracle. We get what we focus on. Choose to focus on the best. Instead of fearing the future expect miracles to happen.
  13. Appreciate what matters in life: Your health, laughter, love, relationships, and family.
    Focus on interacting and connecting with your children, family, friends and neighbors.
    Find new free or inexpensive activities to do together.
  14. Ask for help. Seek professional help if necessary. Join a support group. Everyone needs help at some time in their life. Smart people ask for it and wise people take it.
  15. Use our difficult times to grow emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Now is the time to practice what you believe. Now is the time to walk your talk. This is your opportunity to make your family stronger, happier and healthier.

Tess Marshall M.A. is an author, life coach and blogger at www.TheBoldLife.com She has been married for 37 years and has three granchildren. You can download her book, “Flying By the Seat of My Soul” or purchase a paperback copy over at www.TheBoldLife.com.

What To Do When She Makes More Than Him

Business Lunch
Creative Commons License photo credit: where are the joneses

Post written by Corey Allan. Follow me on Twitter.

During this economic downturn, families and marriages are feeling the strain. Many are having to cut back on expenses, plan for the future differently, or maybe even finding second or third jobs if possible, there likely are few marriages that have avoided the emotional hit of this stress.

But what about those couples who are “traditional” in nature? He works and is the major breadwinner of the family while she is either at home to care for the kids or has a job and is still the primary one responsible for home management.

What happens when either through loss of a job or cut-backs or through her getting a promotion and she makes more than him?

There are probably many people who read this and believe that it would be no big deal. You could easily handle the shift. While it may indeed be true, how do you know?

I was in this camp several years ago. Read more »

The Lazy Marriage’s Budget


Photo courtesy auntsmack4u

I married a CPA. At the risk of offending the CPA society, your brains are just wired differently than the rest of us. That is definitely the case with my wife.

I consider myself to be fairly good with numbers, and I did well in Math back in school, but I’m not in the league of the CPA. Although I do find great pleasure when my checkbook balances and hers is off a few cents. She returns the joy by poking fun at how long it takes me to complete the 1 star Sudoku puzzle.

For the life of our marriage, she preferred to live within a budget. For the beginning years of our marriage I would enter the discussions kicking and screaming. I always felt a budget was far too limiting. I didn’t want to cramp my style.

Needless to say, my attitude helped get us in a financial hole.

The two most common topics fought over in marriage are money and sex. I’ve written plenty of times on the sex topic, now it’s time to tackle the money.

When it comes to budgeting, there are those that live by one and those of us that swear tomorrow we are going to sit down and write one out. The intention is honest, we just have trouble following through.

So how do you set up a budget you’ll actually follow? Read more »