Comments on: The Danger of Online Pornography in Real Life

By: 3 Great Reads about How Porn Impacts Marriage and Life

3 Great Reads about How Porn Impacts Marriage and Life — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 23:29:51 +0000

[...] Online Porn in Real Life [...]

By: My Partner Likes _______ And I Don’t

My Partner Likes _______ And I Don’t — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 23:31:44 +0000

[...] post about pornography’s impact on marriage and family life and the guest post from Michael Smalley has created a bit of a stir. Not only has it opened the flood gates to Simple Marriage receiving [...]

By: Becky

Becky — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 06:03:57 +0000

I too believe that porn is extremely dangerous and can ruin families and relationships. It is ironic, but I happened to have just read a book titled, "Love and Pornography" by Victoria Prater and Garry Prater that helps families/couples deal with this very issue. I think the reason why I love this book so much is because it is written by a couple who has actually gone through this themselves and are telling their story about how they overcame it! Very inspirational!

By: Mike

Mike — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 17:13:00 +0000

I am happily married for 8 years, and long before I got married I have been watching porn. I am not addicted to porn, but don’t feel there is anything wrong with going online or renting or buying porn from video/magazine shops. I am certainly not embarressed to say that.

It’s definitely not a relationship or marriage breaker if like everything else in life you do it in moderation. Obviously some people get addicted to porn like they get addicted to smoking or alcohol or drugs, or sitting in online chat rooms, but it is possible to enjoy it just like everything else in life.

To read and I quote, “In order to keep your family and marriage healthy, either get rid of your internet connection at home or get your computers protected, your family are worth it. Pornography destroys everything it has influence over”, is a bit drastic and untrue for many people.

It has certainly not destroyed my relationship, nor my parents or none of my friends, if anything it adds a bit of spice once in a while. Porn is not there as a substitute or as a guide, it’s just a little bit of fun once in while. Just like getting drunk with friends on a Friday night. I can safely drink alcohol and then not drink again for months.

I sometimes wonder how people get addicted to porn when it’s all the same over and over again. Even worse is why to people use their credit cards and buy porn online when there are so many sites offering free porn.

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 17:34:19 +0000

I think what is most interesting in all of these conversations is how much the blame is shifted. Porn is a thing, it is not a human, it is there for human consumption and therefore the humans are the issue – not the porn. Blaming porn for someones addiction is like blaming Oreos for someones extra 20 lbs. It is the person that is the problem, not the thing. Oreo’s, in my opinion, are really very hard to stop eating once you start but I don’t ask Kraft to stop selling them because they are disturbing the fabric of my healthful being.

My 5 year old runs into the door when he is moving too fast and turns around and yells at the door for getting in his way. This is just like many of you that look at porn (willingly, with full choice in the matter) and then get angry that PORN is at fault. If you don’t like it, don’t consume it. At some point in life, at some age, you are now responsible, let there be some ownership.

I feel very sorry for the child in the story but I second the notion that in this case, porn is nothing more than a good vehicle for some really big problems.

By: George Burdell

George Burdell — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 17:28:14 +0000

I disagree with Michael’s premise and two examples aren’t enough to prove the point. If it were then I’d only need three counter examples to prove that internet porn is good for society.

The first thing we must do is define “porn.” Where is the line between art and porn? Is it a silhouetted breast? The dimples of Venus? A naked leg? David’s penis?

Joey’s problem was not internet porn. Joey’s problem was lack of parental supervision. I have two girls, 11 and 14. I know what websites they look at. I can read their email. I know if they try to subscribe to mature sites. There is plenty of good software for a parent to keep control while giving their child some perceived freedom.

Jacob’s problem was not internet porn. They were “happily married” until she found his porn stash. How long had he been looking at internet porn before Sarah found it? How does meeting other women in real life or on the internet, have anything to do with internet porn? Jacob’s needs were not being met by Sarah. He could have been an adult and discussed them with her. He choose to have affairs. Porn is only a representation of someone else It’s not the same as a spouse having an affair.

Our society has a problem with cause and effect. We love to blame an easy target even it is isn’t the correct target.

By: Laurie

Laurie — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 14:25:04 +0000

Ashke- I’m confused as to where Corey espoused his dogmatic beliefs. He has generously allowed a free discussion through which others, like myself, have brought faith into the discussion. Since my faith is the foundation for my existence, I cannot separate it from me. Just like you cannot have a conversation that is influenced by faith, I cannot have one that separates it. I do however learn a great deal from the views of those who live from a different prospective. Not only does it broaden my view and understanding but it allows me to dig deeper into what and why I believe what I believe. These conversations are an exchange of views. They are not a venue to devalue another person. I would love your opinion on what has been discussed.

By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 13:40:53 +0000

Michael, the Heritage Foundation is a conservative think tank filled with lobbysists who want to use the political system to legislate their version of morality on everyone. This, like most scientific studies done on the issue or porn, can be thrown out without much regard… most have a political or religious agenda and are not worth the time of day. We all know porn can present problems for individuals and marriages but no more than any other type of addiction. People can get addicted to romance novels and comic books but that doesn’t mean there are not plenty of people capable of viewing these items without becoming addicted and without damaging their minds or marriages. But studies sponored by religious or political groups will no doubt have a black and white picture to paint.

By: Michael Smalley

Michael Smalley — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 13:12:44 +0000

Before you quit on this site, I’d beg you to read the following research done on the effects of pornography. This is not only a moral issue for some, but it has proven to be an emotional and psychological issue as well:

http://www.heritage.org/Research/Family/upload/85273_1.pdf

By: Michael Smalley

Michael Smalley — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 13:10:19 +0000

I find this kind of thinking very interesting. From all the research I’ve ever read, porn degrades people’s view of people and of sex. Researches have even monitored through MRI’s people watching porn and people taking a hit of heroin, and the effects of porn on the brain were far greater than the effects of heroin. It is a highly addictive practice and leads in to major issues sexually.