Editor’s note: This article is adapted from Leo of Zen Habits.
There’s something powerfully simple, and deeply profound in the Dalai Lama’s quote: “My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.”
This single word can become the central tenet of your life, if you let it: “kindness”.
Kindness can guide every interaction you have with others, can guide your life’s work, can give meaning to your life, can even guide your eating, parenting, marriage, and more.
All else will melt away, if you let go of it, and leave only kindness.
Doing to others IS doing to yourself
The Golden Rule goes like this, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” But another idea of this rule – how you treat others is how your treat yourself.
Consider: when you react to others with anger or meanness, you are putting yourself in an angry mindset, a bad mood. You’ll likely feel pretty bad for at least an hour, if not all day.
When you are uncaring or indifferent to others, you also create an empty, blank feeling in yourself, a void that cannot be filled with gadgets, social networking, shopping, food, or possessions.
When instead you are kind, you build a good feeling within yourself, you make yourself happy. In effect, you are being kind to yourself.
Other outward-facing actions have a similar inward effect: if you want to learn, teach. If you need inspiration, inspire others. If you’re sad, cheer someone up.
mindfulness + kindfulness
It is near impossible, in my experience, to transition towards kindness without being mindful. Thoughtlessness leads to unkindnesses.
You must be mindful of every interaction with another human being. Approach each person mindfully, with your full attention, smiling, seeking to understand them, trying to interact with gentleness, warmth, compassion.
When someone comes to talk to you, when your kid tugs on your pant leg for attention, when your spouse starts speaking, turn to them without distraction, putting everything else away, and give your full attention. Listen. Be 100% present.
Here’s something beautiful: by treating others with kindness, you will create a happy feeling within yourself, effectively creating a positive feedback loop for your mindfulness. This will encourage you to be more mindful throughout your day, which will help you to treat others with yet more kindness, and so on.
Mindfulness and kindfulness feed on each other in a wonderful cycle.
(photo source)
Simply beautiful! The site looks great!
Thanks! Needed to read this after having a bit of an “angry” morning!
Thank you for this! I had an incident at the library this morning with my 2 yr old son, where a couple of folks were inconsiderate to his (and a few other kids) being able to see a puppet show (mothers, no less). I was angry with the recurring incidents of inconsideration we’ve been experiencing while out. Thanks for reminding me that I need to continue the kindness, regardless of my bad experiences.
Kindness is the key!
I really like the idea of doing unto other is doing unto yourself. I have never thought about like that, but its true! Although we probably want to be mindful that we aren’t just being kind for selfish reasons.
What a great reminder
Thank you for such a beautiful post. if every person, every day, thought these thoughts, the world and many individual homes be be a very different place.
It took several months of marriage counseling to realize that what my husband and I really wanted from each other more than anything was kindness. So simple. So important.
really liked this post
To be kind is to be an awesome human being
http://islamagain.com/2011/07/kindness/