This giveaway is now closed.
Next up – one of my favorites, A Private Affair: The Erotic Game of Secrets, Plans and Promises for Couples, a unique “black box” of intimate possibility for couples created by Dr. Todd and Jan Sellick.
This is a game that can be played in restaurants, over coffee, while out for a walk, even on the phone. Play slowly, over a romantic meal, or enjoy a “quickie” by text or email or during a five minute drive in the car.
Three thousand years ago Solomon suggested that “an honest answer (straight talk) is like a kiss on the lips;” a thing of simply, happy, complete and juicy intimacy. This little verse inspired a game.
Stories about “sexless marriages” are hot topics at the moment, but the issue is not really ”sexless” but “less” in general for so many; less adventure, less understanding, less connecting, less joy, less kindness, less energy, less hope, etc. Sheldon Vanauken, in his fabulous book “A Severe Mercy” suggested that unless couples are extremely mindful and diligent in their marriage, they risk suffering a “creeping separateness” that distorts and tarnishes the life and friendship of marriage. The sexual part of the relationship very naturally, and reasonably, suffers along with this, so often bruised in this experience of “creeping separateness.”
Couples are hungry for connection, but a bit lost as to where to begin. We keep our game at the back door. As we’re heading out, one of us pockets a few cards so we can “play the game” should we have a few moments, and want to get into some intimate conversation and play together.
One reviewer said that he and his wife think of the game as “emotional bungee jumping;” a risky adventure, but one where they ultimately feel safe as they jump into various depths together.
A Private Affair is not a typical couples “sex game” at all; not the kind you play at home on Friday night with a bottle of massage oil, a feather, and blindfold. This game is played with “eyes wide open” while you move through the bits and pieces of life with your spouse.
My wife and I have played this game several times, and each time it has been great.
How To Enter
Leave a comment on this post answering this question: What is the most romantic date you and your spouse have been on?
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This giveaway will end February 14th at Midnight CST.
Check back tomorrow for another giveaway.
The most romantic date we went on was a day spent at Pike Place in Seattle. What made it romantic was not the atmosphere or the sunny day but the fact that my husband seemed so happy to be spending time with me – we talked and hung out and laughed and I will always remember feeling special to him in such a special way during that day together.
Our most romantic date wasn’t necessarily glamorous but was perfect because it was a reconnection for us. Sushi and a movie is all we need!
Dinner in DC followed by a walk around Tidal Basin to see the monuments all lit up at night. Ahhhhhhh…..
A drive in Napa with my husband. Perfect.
Hmm… I like to think that it’s hard to choose, cause I do much of the planning!
I told my wife that I would bring her supper at work during her lunch break (she was working 2nd shift). I packed the picnic basket, cooked a pasta dish and crescent rolls, and headed out. We sat at one of the picnic tables in the closed snack area inside of Target during her break. Place mats under dishes, cloth napkins on laps, long-stemmed glasses with water inside… A usual picnic, in an unusual place!
She loved it, and was talked about in a good way for the next couple of days!
most romantic recently would be a surprise date to a fabulous new restaurant and some time away to just chat. He wisked me away, and I loved it!
This would be really interesting to win, I don’t get to see my husband very much, (he works 15 hour days during the 3-5 months of the year he isn’t deployed) and so it’s so easy to grow apart if we don’t focus. It looks like a fun way to facilitate connections!
Not a typical “date” but we ended up driving for 2 days (in each direction) for a trip last year, and all that time talking together (somewhat lacking since we’ve had young kids) really brought us closer together.
I would have to say picnicking during a hike in the Smokies. We heard water and had fun following the sound until we found the stream. It’s like the two of us were the only people in the world.
Last Friday, my mom babysat our 2 children and we went together to have our first ultrasound of our 3rd baby. Strong heartbeat, wiggling away. We went to dinner afterward to celebrate and it couldn’t have been sweeter!
Hmmm…I guess I really have had some great ones, something I tend to forget in the everyday, so thanks for the reminder! Probably my favorite was a side trip to Franklin, TN with my then-boyfriend/now husband. We had only been dating six months when he took a week of his vacation time to drive to TN with me while my grandfather underwent surgery and we received the news that he had two months to live. We had spent almost all day every day at the hospital and my mom told us to “take the day off.” We drove over to Franklin-had a great talk on the way there-and spent the afternoon going in and out of little shops, hand in hand. I even remember one store had a bubble machine, so we strolled through town watching bubbles waft on the breeze. It was on the drive back that we started discussing life, then our future, then our future together. That overcast day in April 2004, we decided to get married. Sure, the horse-drawn carriage marriage proposal in downtown Chicago that followed a month later was wonderful, but we both look back on that day in Franklin as truly special in our relationship.
One of our most romantic dates was the first – we talked for hours and hours as a local coffee shop and when they closed and kicked us out we sat outside for another hour and talked some more. It was wonderful
We have had many romantic dates in years past, which is good since life now allows us few and far between… The most romantic NOW was last year: dinner at this tucked away restaurant downtown (old historic city, think a thousand ears old, and we dining right around the corner from some massive history), with amazing food, lovely music, laid back service and the WHOLE place to ourselves! People eat out LATE here and we had to go out early since we had to return to the children at home… So the place was all ours! It was just perfect: beautiful yet we could talk all we wanted, with no interruptions…
My most romantic date was a camping trip almost a year ago. We were celebrating our 25th anniversary. On sat night, my hub and I went on a walk. To his surprise when we returned to our campsite, our two sons were there and had started a campfire. Also the counselor/pastor who saved our marriage was there with his family. He led us in a renewal of our vows there under the stars, by a campfire that overlooked the lake. We exchanged necklaces that said, “I still choose you”. It was an incredible experience. The most memorable night of my entire life. My hub was so surprised that I would go to the trouble of arranging it, and I was so thankful that the pastor/ counselor and his family took the time and trouble to make it happen for us. If I could choose which ceremony to experience again, the first one 25 years earlier, or the campfire one, I would not hesitate to choose the campfire ceremony. It was incredible.
My husband is a martial artist and they have a tradition that requires them to perform a short ritual very early on New Year’s Day at sunrise. When we were dating, my then fiance picked me up in the dark, and we drove to the campus where he practiced martial arts. As the sun rose, I watched him in his hakama performing sword cuts. It was very romantic to me because he included me in something so very important to him. We then went out to breakfast together.
We went to Toronto to see Les Mis and Phantom of the Opera on back to back nights, then took a spontaneous side trip to Niagara Falls. We didn’t buy anything there, but just walked around the area. It was twelve years ago, but I still have very great memories.
One of our most romantic dates was New Year’s Eve in Florida. After spending the evening w/ my grandparents, we snuck into the hot tub/pool at their condo complex and stayed up all night w/ champagne and then went to the beach to see the sunrise (too cloudy) and got McDonalds for breakfast!
My most romantic date occurred just a couple months ago. I work about 25 miles from home, and my car broke down. Due to a difference in schedules, my spouse and I would have been unable to reliably work that out, so I stayed at a friends house who lives much nearer for a couple days. By the end of it I was tired and achey from sleeping on the couch, getting grumpier as my spouse was running late at picking me up to take me home, and I had a lot of chores to catch up on. When he arrived, he apologized for being late – he was finishing my chores for me! He had flowers and a twix bar (a tradition of ours from High School) and had brought a sundress and sandals for me to wear so we could walk to the beach. The staggering amount of thoughtfulness he showed was the most romantic thing I could have ever imagined, and it made me fall in love all over again.
My most romantic date…was when my husband took his ‘city girl’ (me!) four-wheeling. He took me to the top of this hill (mountain???) that overlooked some of the most beautiful country I’d ever seen. It was him sharing his love of the outdoors that made it so very romantic.
My husband conspired with a friend to set up a picnic in the park for the two of us. He’s not a planner by nature so the effort he put into the date made the romance factor quadruple!
Our most romantic date took place when we were backpacking in Europe a couple of summers ago. We were just dating at the time, and were trying to go as cheap as possible by shopping in grocery stores for most of our meals. So I was surprised when my (now) husband asked me to go out to a nice dinner with him while we were in Rome. It was great! We got dressed up (as much as we could with our limited clothing) and enjoyed a candlelit dinner on a brick plaza. I didn’t think anything of the dinner, it was just nice…but he had other plans, and afterward is when he proposed!
Hands down it had to be hanging out (sans kids) in our backyard by our firepit making s’mores, drinking wine and talking. Still think about it!
We went around DC to the museums, ate astronaut ice cream on the mall, rode the paddle boats in the Tidal Basin and ended the day with sangria and dinner. We learned so much about each other and laughed so much!
Most romantic date: Hmm…I have a hard time deciding since DD is 3 and it seems forever ago. lol. The first that comes to mind is our first “official” date where DH took me to a very nice, local restaurant where we just talked and got to know one another, then he wanted to take me to a movie. I suggested renting movies and cuddling in my room instead and that is what we did. Simple and sweet quality time.
At 9:33am I began to think about an answer to this question. At 9:43am, I began to type — without an answer. Oh that is sad. We need this game. We have had many pleasant times together but very few have been sans-children since 1995. And none of these “dates” would probably qualify as truly “romantic”. (Now, I do recall New Year’s Eve 1993 — that was quite nice. A special dinner, fine wine, a fireplace…but jeez that was a completely different century). Oh, wait, I got it — that Pirates-Cubs game we went to… No, no… ok you’re right… uh, how about the time we went car-shopping and the salesman let us test-drive the car alone…no, no, true, not romantic… oh i give up.
That sounds like an awesome game! One time before we were married, we went for a long walk in the mountains and ‘camped’ out by a little stream…we took a picnic and just sat and talked for hours. I still treasure the memory of that date!
Our most romantic date was the first time we found an overnight sitter for our firstborn. A quiet dinner, a relaxing movie, and a full night to reconnect.
I don’t want to win this game – because I ALREADY HAVE IT!! I found it on ebay a few years ago for a great steal of $5.00!! We have played it a few times and it is a wonderful way to share and spend time together. I hope whoever wins enjoys it too!
Our monst romantic date was actually a whole week, right after we got engaged we spend a week out on the Chesapeak Bay in our boat. We visited the different islands went diving and swimming. At night we achored the boat somewhere safe and the soft rocking was so calming and romantic. In was the best and most romantic week I have spent in my life.
I would really like to win this because our relationship has stagnated and we needs the spark again and a reconnection. I have tried several times to win this one the last time and could for some reason never get to the post page. I hope I win it this time – this would really help our relationship get some spark again, I wouls buy it but being jobless at the moment I just cant afford it. My romantic post is above
How about most nerdy date?
My fiance and I are both geeks, and are currently living a far distance apart. We were also anxiously awaiting the announcement of Apple’s tablet. On the day it was announced, on our own computers, we each opened up several of the same live blogs from people who were at the session and opened up chat so that we could “watch” the announcement “together”.
Most romantic?
I guess it depends. We also love dancing, so go out and do that a lot. The morning he proposed, he took me out to watch the sunrise. We make each other dinner all the time. Because we only get to see each other on weekends, we tend to treasure the time we have together and to look on all of the moments we have as incredibly romantic.
DH is a pilot, so our most romantic date was when we found a babysitter for a very long weekend, drove to the airport without knowing exactly where we would go, and picked a European city to spend a few days in. We ended up in Madrid b/c of seats available… it turned out to be an awesome date!
My most romantic date began when I got home from work one Saturday. My husband had cleaned the entire house! He told me to pack an overnight bag. He had booked a hotel room for us that evening. The most romantic dates for me are always surprises!
This might be a cop-out so to speak, but I think the most romantic date we went on was dinner after our wedding. We had an early afternoon wedding and were out of the reception by maybe 4pm. We spent the night in the town’s best hotel, and we had dinner reservations at the (fancy-pants) hotel restaurant. He wore a tux and I wore my favorite gown, and we had an romantic, luxurious 2-hour dinner, basking in the wedding and our general level of joy. The waiter knew we’d just been married and was so sweet to us the whole time, and the chef sent complimentary champagne, an appetizer and special dessert. We aren’t really the ‘romantic dinner and hotel night’ type, but this was a really special occasion (duh) and it’s probably my favorite ‘date’ we’ve been on.
our most recently romantic date was probably a simple sushi dinner and a trip to the grocery store where we bought some a bag full of tricks to decorate our babysitters car (a good friend). it was romantic just being silly together.
I would say our first “real” date; he took me to Disneyland for the day and then finished it off with dinner at the Blue Bayou restaurant (which I had always wanted to go to). Disneyland is my favorite place in the world and it meant so much to me to share that with him.
Staying at the beach and watching the water while enjoying a fire and wine… or venturing out for a stroll in a storm.
We haven’t been on a date in probably…oh dear. I don’t remember when. But I do remember the trip we took to Seattle last summer. Just an overnighter, but it was really great to be alone with my husband, enjoying Pike Place Market and Ruth’s Chris and Archie McPhee’s.
I think it would be really helpful for our marriage to win this game. I’d rather not go into specifics…but yeah.
Our most romantic date was the day we got engaged. The place wasn’t nearly as important as the thought he put into the proposal. He actually opened a box of cracker jack from the bottom and sealed my ring into the prize packaging. We’ve had more wonderful dates since then, but cracker jacks are always special.
A quiet dinner on the hillside close to Athens Greece.
we went on a sailboat ride at sunset. Even though we were far from the only people on board, the sounds of the sea, the sights and finally doing something we said we would make it very romantic. and the sunset turned out to be just beautiful. (and the babysitting was free, hard to top!)
We had 2:
- a day at a indoor/outdoor spa together where we got to talk and relax without the kids
- A weekend getaway after our second child was born, where we just got to sleep in a hotel room, eat out, shop, hang out and just spend some real good quality time together.
Our most romantic date was a mom/dad date. We went out for a steak dinner and a movie and then came home and the babysitter and kids set the table for us with candles and a slice of chocolate cake for each of us.
I’m embrassed to say, my husband and I have never had a romantic date. We’ve had dates alright, but, never what I would call “romantic”. We should change that.
Our most romantic date was on our “babymoon” when we were pregnant with our first baby. We went on a trip to Prince Edward Island in the summer. We stayed at a beautiful hotel on the coast. We sat outside on the deck, in perfect weather, had a fabulous meal, wine, and the music that the restaurant played was sweet and perfect for the occasion. We had a great conversation and just enjoyed each other’s company so much. It was a great night. Also – the whole trip was a gift from his parents.
We had a Valentine’s Day date where we weren’t allowed to talk about work, money, or the household in general. We were totally relaxed and reconnected on so many levels.
Most romantic recently was this past November in Miami, we were gearing up for a week long job. We stopped into a tiny Italian restaurant for dinner and had the best time, talking about life & dreams and things besides work.
An overnight trip to Dallas for our anniversary several years back. We ate at Antares, a revolving restaurant high above the city and enjoyed watching the sunset and the city from every direction.
Most romantic *home* date–walking through the pasture at dusk or sitting on the back of the pick-up looking up at the stars.
Most romantic, a day at Ellitch Gardens going on all the rides together!
The one I remember was last Friday. Nice dinner, good movie, dessert and a drive up a mountain road for a little romancing. All without our almost 2 year old! Good times!
Wow…dates…those are a thing of the past. I’m having a hard time evening thinking about one date, let alone a romantic one.
I’m going to have to say the most romantic date we ever had was our first Valentines Day together. We went out to a snazzy restaurant downtown (because we could afford that before kids) and got the 5 course special. It was the first time I had lobster, yum! We drank wine and talked and it was very special.
Most romantic date? Going to dinner and a show at a theater in the city. So special.
I think our most romantic date recently was on a trip to Hawaii, we were able to get out without the kids. We walked on the beach and went to a nice restaurant, had sushi and pineapple martinis and walked back along the beach again, holding hands and dreaming about the future. It was a pretty stressful time period and we needed that dose of fun, just the two of us.
My favorite date usually consists of driving around town, looking at old houses and dreaming about the future. My husband talks best when he has something else to do, like drive or walk.
Our most romantic day was a day trip to a rennisance festival. We dressed up and had a wonderful lunch, watched jousting and comedy shows, held hands and laughed out butts off. One the way home we stopped for a nice dinner. It was a great day just the two of us.
My husband & I have had a lot of very special moments. We carve out time on regular basis to touch base with each other in order to keep from growing apart, even if it’s just stealing a couple hours in the morning before the kids wake up.
One of my favorite dates was our first vacation together to Siesta Key Beach, FL. We spent a much-needed vacation lounging on the beach, getting to know each other even better, exploring the town, but mostly just enjoying each others’ company sans kids. That was early in our relationship, and we’ve since been back to that beach twice, once to get married and once to take all the kids. It’s our favorite beach, in large part because of the special times we’ve had there!
I loved when my husband planned a trip to Whitefish, Montana. It turned out to be one of our most romantic times.
Our most romantic date would probably be the weekend we got engaged. My boyfriend (at the time) planned the entire trip as a surprise with each moment planned… right down to when he popped the question. it was a phenomenal trip and one we’ll never forget. Would love to win this game. Looks great!
One of our favorite traditions is going the Shakespearean Festival in Ashland, OR each year. We try to see at least 2-3 plays and also stay in a B&B. As far as the single most romantic date, she would probably say my taking her to Hawaii for our 20th anniversary – she got a spa treatment, dinner on the beach, and three-diamond anniversary ring – although I’m still working on paying for that one
, it was certainly worth every penny.
Our most romantic date was celebrating our 10 year anniversary at a restaurant called The Melting Pot. We had a private booth with a privacy curtain. We cuddled, cooked each other fondue and made out like teenagers! What a great night!
With 6 kids, it’s nice to get away for some romance. We recently were invited to Disney’s private Club 33. It was nice to spend the day at Disneyland, together. And were amazed by Club 33, we felt very exclusive =). AND we only felt a “little” guilty about leaving our kids at home, haha.
To be honest, to long, last year at this time. We went to the Ben Miller Inn for a weekend. Beautiful suite overlooking a snow covered brook. One of the finest wine list in the province. It’s time to go again.
My husband, before we were married, he told me to dress nicely and to bring a warm coat for a surprise date. He took me to the Santa Cruz beach boardwalk (it was winter) and we spent time playing in an arcade, watched the waves roll in and went out to a nice dinner where our table was on the stairs. It was really fun.
Our most romantic date was a mountain bike ride to a waterfall, picnic lunch at the waterfall, and then a downhill ride back out to the coast. (all near Santa Cruz) Afterward, we drove into town for showers, followed by a hot tub. Fun, beautiful and relaxing.
We’ve had so many, it’s hard to choose, but one of the most memorable would have to be the time I surprised my wife by secretely having her engagement ring repaired (lost diamond). I presented it to her after we’d hiked to the top of a beautilful hilltop in the Lake District of England where we’d traveled to celebrate our 25th anniversary. She was sitting on a rock and I knelt in front of her, producing the ring box I re-enacted our engagement by asking, “Will you marry me?”
Shakespeare in the park, a blanket and two picnic baskets filled with delectable treats.
Simple, fun and romantic
Our most romantic date was celebrating our one year wedding anniversary. That first year with stressful jobs, masters’ pursuits, and two cross country moves (my husband is in the military) took quite the toll on both of us. To celebrate making it through that first difficult year with all of our challenges, we booked a wine-tasting dinner in Destin, FL for a weekend getaway. All of the money spent at the dinner benefited a local children’s hospital which warmed our hearts. The 5-course dinner featured 2 award-winning wines paired with each course. The meal started out on the terrace overlooking the ocean, and moved inside to a cozy inn restaurant. It was so special treating ourselves to such a nice experience and getting to share wonderful conversation. The hardships of the last year drew us together as we had to face them as a team. It was nice celebrating our victory with this romantic date and getting some personal time together to start our next year refreshed.
Going to a secluded park in the mountains near our neighborhood. We brought a pillow, sheets, snacks and wine. It was a very romantic night.
Thank you for the giveaway! If I don’t win I think this might be a very good thing to buy, it sounds like it would bring some closeness that would be good for us.
Our most romantic date ever would be the now defunct Washington Dinner train – a great meal, a winery tour, and he had been thoughtful enough to order roses to be on our table on the train when we arrived!
went to a friend’s cabin and watched movie, played games, ate. just great to spend one on one time together.
On our 3rd anniversary we went to dinner at the resturant where our reception was held and then took a walk at the beach. It was a lovely evening.
Our romantic dates are packing a picking and going to see a live orchestra play.
Our most romantic date was when my hubby recreated his proposal. He proposed in Venice on a gondola…and when we lived in Las Vegas, he took me to the Venetian for another gondola ride
Our most romantic date was when we rode our harley into the mountains of West Virginia. It was beautiful and so green.
I tweeted http://twitter.com/cstironkat
MY husband made me a special valentines day dinner.. it was so romantic! He really went all out!
We each planned romantic dates this last fall, I couldn’t pick. Hubby surprised me with dancing lessons like I’ve always wanted, and I surprised him with a night at a hotel away from the kiddos.
Most romantic? Not sure there is one…
Love cooking exotic and gourmet dinners together.
Our 5 year anniversary trip across Europe, sure is hard to beat.
we went to a water/theme park for our anniversary. it sounds silly but it was wonderful to reconnect in such a fun atmosphere.
We recently had a very nice “date” over New Year’s. My parents kept the kids and we went out to dinner and spent the night in a nice hotel downtown. We watched the fireworks, snuggled together to stay warm, and had some nice private time! And, the best part was being able to sleep in and eat breakfast in bed!
Probably the Valentines where we had dinner at an elegant fondue restaurant and then spent the night at the Anniversary Inn.
Our most romantic date–I packed a picknick basket and some blankets and we went up to the snow–we love to go cross country skiing –we found this lovely hill overlooking a frozen lake—it was just lovely–the sun came out and the weather was gorgeous –we had a bottle of wine and our picknick –hadn’t seen anyone in hours so we got under the blankets and had an amazing time!
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I’d have to say it was when my husband surprised me with a Kurt Elling concert at a music festival in New York the weekend we got engaged. Got on the train not knowing where we were headed and didn’t know who we were there to see until he walked onstage. I cried!
Hmm I’d say when we were dating, he took me on a surprise picnic lunch, packed it all himself and included cookie dough. It was perfect!
Just recently we went to the theatre and then had dinner after. It was wonderful. We have two little ones, so getting out at all is a challenge.
We went to Disneyland almost 2 years ago and we had so much fun together, it was wonderful just things we enjoy all day!
Our most memorable date was at a buffet in Florida. It was a terrible restaraunt, but we had so much fun cracking jokes about it all, it turned into one of my favorite dates!
For our second Anniversary I surprised my husband by taking him to Disneyland. It was where we went on our honeymoon. It was a wonderful day!
I think the only date my husband and I ever had was our first anniversary. Dinner at a great local place, not fancy but not applebees either. We were given a gift certificate so we didn’t have to think about the cost. We’ve known each other our whole lives (really since the day I was born) so dating just never happened. Long story short we need to have a date night! It’s been almost six years of ups and downs but we’re still at it.
monster trucks and grandys!
Our best date was on a recent vacation. We had the best time at a little Mexican place. The food was great and we had some wonderful conversation!
We walked through NYC and he walked me by a bunch of sites that I later found out he had written poems about for me and then he proposed to me near the Brooklyn Bridge after reading me poems about the places we went together that day!
My husband and I had agreed to separate back in 04′. Things were pretty bad at the time, I didn’t understand what had come over him. I didn’t seem to know this man anymore. He did alot of out of the house activities without me. I was feeling rather invisible those days and threw myself into cleaning the house and shopping and that was pretty much it. He went his way, I went mine. It was sad. He had to wait a month to move into his apartment. During that month we got along better than ever. One night he asked me if I’d like to take a ride to the CVS with him. At the time, he hadn’t included me in any of his outings so I’d have to say that ride to CVS was the most romantic date I’d been on.
I think it was our very first date. We went out for Vietnamese food. And then I got a killer migraine and he went to the pharmacy for me and sat in a dark room with me watching me sleep it off. <3