Comments on: Values to Live By

By: Beth LaMie

Beth LaMie — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 01:48:00 +0000

Edith,
That makes great sense to incorporate values with goal setting. Otherwise, what we think we want may be in conflict with who we really are. I saw a terrific poster yesterday at our local shopping mall that was aimed at teeneagers but applies to everyone:

Show respect
To earn respect

That happens to mesh with one of the most relevant values, in my opinion, which is respect. We need to be respectful of each other and ourselves.

Thanks so much for your kind remarks.

By: Edith

Edith — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 01:41:26 +0000

Beth!
Great work, well said. I use something like this when I have others look at “Beyond Goal Setting”. I think to decide on goals that are “right” for us we need to know what we value – to look at the choices/options; translate our desires; and to give of your self respectfully and with value.
My three at this moment are : creativity, joyfulness, and resourcefulness.

By: Beth LaMie

Beth LaMie — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 20:55:38 +0000

Rebecca,
Sometimes I dream about how much better our world could be if we all learned to show respect for others. You are right that values suffer when things get bad, like the economy. Perhaps if we can get people to consider the values that are important to them, we can improve our own lives just a little.

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 20:05:20 +0000

The value that I really feel in the forefront of my life right now is respect. My parents instilled that in me and all my siblings from an early age- always to show everyone respect regardless of age, race, intellect, appearance-. You just never know who they really are- like the sorceress in peasant’s clothing you read of in fairy tales, people always have something surprising hidden beneath their outward appearance, something valuable to share, something you won’t get to see if you simply write them off. I also feel like this sense of respect is often missing or eroding- that we assume we know better, or are better than others, or we have more to offer, and do not need what others are trying to bring to the table. Maybe this feeling seems more acute now that many people are simply in survival mode because of the many crisis that are facing our society (which is true of so many values). It is a great time to reassess. Thank you, and everyone with their previous posts!

By: Beth LaMie

Beth LaMie — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 01:16:07 +0000

Neil, I like how you’ve used a list of values to pare down the top three. Doing it with business partners could be a real eye-opener for everyone involved, but it is always useful in a relationship. As usual, the more we know about someone’s values, the more we know about their true character.

By: Neil Phillips

Neil Phillips — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 01:11:36 +0000

I love the value exercise. I’ve often used something like that with new entrepreneurial partners so that they have the opportunity to understand each other and the business they are starting. I have them sort the list into three groups. Then keep the top group. Then sort it again, etc. By the time they are finished, they have picked their top three values. I am always amazed at the insights that they gain about themselves and their partner when they are forced to choose between values.

Thanks for the idea of using it in a marriage. Duh. Perfect.

By: Beth LaMie

Beth LaMie — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 00:54:37 +0000

Sarah, I’m really tickled that you found this site, too. Corey & everyone have some amazing thoughts to share, so I think you’ll get a lot out of it. The values you are working to teach your kids are wonderful.

By: Beth LaMie

Beth LaMie — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 23:36:56 +0000

Carrie, that’s a good point about dating relationships revealing our values. Many years ago, I briefly dated someone who turned out to be dishonest. Whetehr it was trying to scam a restaurant for a free meal or stiffing the waitress, I learned I couldn’t abide his values. If I had stayed with him, my own values would have been seriously compromised.

By: Sarah Sandifer

Sarah Sandifer — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 22:25:49 +0000

Great article; so glad I found this website! My three values would be Faith, Compassion, and Authenticity. Personally, my faith is very important to me and I think that if I can’t relate to someone on a spiritual level (my deepest level) it’s hard to truly know each other. I want to teach my kids how to take care of people and have compassion without judgement. And I am all about authentic, transparent conversations where you can honestly share life with another.

By: Carrie

Carrie — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 21:56:17 +0000

Dating relationships can shed a light on our values, too. (For example, respect is a BIG one for me. If a guy undermines what I like or what I deem important, it bothers me.) The last two guys I dated taught me a good bit about what I need and want in a relationship.