Comments on: Want A Better Marriage? Let’s Start The Bidding

By: Random Acts of Kindness (with children)

Random Acts of Kindness (with children) — Fri, 22 May 2009 05:11:07 +0000

[...] about fanning the flames of my marital relationship, and since then, I’ve stumbled upon this and this. Both blogs offer sage advice about strengthening your bond with your spouse, but they touch on [...]

By: Things to Write Home About - 4/5/09 | Feels Like Home

Things to Write Home About - 4/5/09 | Feels Like Home — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 03:03:09 +0000

[...] Mary Anne Crossno wrote about how the first ten minutes of the day impacts a marriage on Simple Marriage [...]

By: Lara Oyetola

Lara Oyetola — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 14:35:19 +0000

I love ur column, pls do connect me . cheers

By: Linmayu

Linmayu — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 04:50:50 +0000

The small things matter. A lot. I know that back when I was married, I was turning away or turning against all the time–and by the time I turned it around, it was way, way too late! It was so ingrained in me to turn away when I’d been feeling ignored, or to turn against when I was feeling threatened, but that is just adding more fuel to the fire that’s burning your house down.

By: Mary Ann Crossno

Mary Ann Crossno — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 03:15:19 +0000

Laurie, Great point! Bids are a positive feed cycle – whatever you put in, positive or negative, is what you will get more of. It’s key to be tuned in not only to the bids you are giving, but to be aware of the ways your partner bids for connection with you and your response to those bids.

Bonnie, Thanks for promoting SM – and for realizing that the thoughts about relationships are universal – not just for married people!

By: Bonnie

Bonnie — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 03:09:49 +0000

I’ve been reading SMP for a quite some time. The posts are all positive and helpful, but this one illuminates how to interact on the simplest and often overlooked level.

While I’m not presently married, but every relationship in my life has been uplifted through improving life skills with SMP wisdom.

I tell everyone who will listen about The Simple Marriage Project.

By: Laurie

Laurie — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 01:28:09 +0000

I never thought of these types of connections in such a systematic way. The hub and I are much improved in this bidding department than we use to be. I find the better our repationship is, the more I touch him i.e. a rub on the back as I pass his way. It’s kind of a viscious cycle. The better I feel about our relationship, the more I bid, the better I feel about our relationship. I guess the most challenging thing is being aware of how you’re bidding so that what you say and do will boost your relationship even though you may not feel the best about what is going on with your relationship at the time.

By: BARBARA

BARBARA — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 21:29:04 +0000

HI EVERYONE…I’LL BE MARRIED 16 YEARS THIS SATURDAY 28TH OF MARCH…WE ARE STILL TOGETHER BUT IT HAS BEEN A VERY HARD 16 YEARS. WE KEEP STUMBLING BUT I HAVE HOPE FOR US..

I READ THE POSTS EVERY MORNING AND TRY TO UTILIZE THEM AS TOOLS IN MY MARRIAGE. AS EVERYONE HAS SAID JUST THE SMALLEST OF THINGS CAN CREATE THE BIGGEST THINGS IN LIFE.

By: Mary Ann

Mary Ann — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 17:46:24 +0000

Daphne, Thanks for the Stumble! I’m enjoying your happiness series . . . and I’m still working on the challenge of defining myself through my life’s creed.

Nicole, Truly it’s the little things that create the big things in life. No one every gained or lost 20 pounds in a day, or week, or month. Most gains an losses, are the result of simple repeated choices to be different IN THE MOMENT. That’s the key – the only time we can change ourselves is IN THE MOMENT. We can think about what we wish we had done different in the past, or plan how we will be different in the future, but change is in the here and now.

Brenda, Welcome as a first time commenter. Hope to hear more from you. Such a small thing, those five minutes, and what a difference they make in your day.

Kirwin,
It’s the little things that make and break us. Sometimes all it take to reconnect is to be intentional about the turning toward.

By: Kirwin

Kirwin — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 14:42:54 +0000

Thanks for a wonderful post. Lately, I’ve been blogging about re-connecting with my husband. We’re a happy, healthy couple, but kids, the economy, and “blah blah blah” sometimes get in the way of our togetherness. I like the way you described the 3 bids. It’s so true that it’s the little things that mean so much!