Today is my 39th birthday.
While to many this event may be far too close to one of life’s bigger milestones (turing 40), to me, my 30s have been the best years of my life.
As I look back on this time of life, several things jump out.
- I had no idea what I was doing in my 20s. I was young and dumb and thought I knew what life was really all about. Turns out I was an idiot. So much so that I almost lost my marriage during this decade.
- Kids really do teach you more than you teach them. You hear it all the time, kids will change your life. It’s true. From the tender moments of an infant sleeping on your chest to the times when you hear them in their room unleashing their anger in your direction – they uncover the parts in yourself that you didn’t know you had. Who knew that I could get so worked up over the reactions from someone 1/6 my size?
- Marriage really does get better. Pam and I will be celebrating 17 years this month and I can honestly say that the past 10 years have been our best years together. This is due largely to our own growth as people, as well as wisdom we’ve learned from past experiences.
So why am I writing all this on my birthday?
No, this isn’t to get presents sent my way (unless you want to get me an apple pie – although a pie sent through the mail probably wouldn’t be any good). I wanted to write up a few brief points about what I’ve learned along the way thus far.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff. Seriously. Most of the things that get us down or trip us up in marriage and life are small things.
- Expect disappointments. In fact, the definition I use for expectation is planned disappointments. You’re going to hear “no” in life. Count on it – but continue on your path.And in spite of all the hurdles and obstacles you encounter:
- Approach life as it is the most wonderful, precious gift you could ever be given. The world was created by God to be enjoyed and reveled in. Or as Donald Miller puts it, God has placed a box of crayons down in front of you (a box of crayons called life), so by all means draw. We get one shot at this life – draw a masterpiece!
(photo source)
Happy Birthday, Corey. I’ll be turning 39 later this summer and I couldn’t agree more with your conclusions, or your love of apple pie. The marriage journey gets sweeter with time, and our kids give us fresh perspectives and much joy. Best wishes for a great year!
Lori Lowe
http://www.LifeGems4Marriage.com
Happy Birthday. What a nice post. I enjoyed reading this one. Thanks for sharing!
Great post, Corey! As a woman in my twenties, I find great comfort in hearing such things from people with more wisdom and experience. More than anything, I’m comforted to hear that you get more confident with time. I feel young and stupid more than anything else these days . . . I’m hoping maybe that will change in my thirties? I really look forward to the day I can look back at my current self and say “Boy was I dumb . . . I’m so glad I’m not like that any more!”
Happy birthday.
Kathleen!
Let me assure you from my current vantage point of 44 years of life and 11 years of marriage, yes yes yes, it does get better, you do get wiser (because with age comes wisdom…veeerrrryyy slowly!) and you will look back and say, holy carp, I’ve come a long way, baby! I loved my 30s, but as much as I loved that decade, I’m loving my 40s even more…there is more confidence, more patience, less time spent wearing rose colored glasses, instead looking at life the way it really is and being darned fine with it, finally. I realized the only thing I have control over, really, is me, and there was a great deal of freedom and growth in that realization! Keep growing, moving forward, be patient with the process, and enjoy the box of crayons!! Live in technicolor, baby! And enjoy the ride
Happy Birthday! Thanks for sharing that marriage can get better. Sometimes we get caught in a rut and think it will always be that way. If we look back, we see it wasn’t always. This means that we can make it better tomorrow, if we want to. We get to make a fresh start each and every morning if that is the choice we make. As someone who turned 50 last birthday, it’s nice to know that age brings us more than just wrinkles and gray hair.
Happy Happy Birthday! I’m in my early twenties and I’ve hoping that I learn from others…and make the choice not to have to create my own mistakes over and over.
28 years old, married 4 years. Two kids.
It’s getting better all the time already. And if it weren’t for my marriage and children I’d be less than half the man I am now. They have done so much for me.
I have my crayons and am drawing away! Thanks for the reminder and I will be coloring outside the lines!
I am in my 20′s, so thank you for the reminder that I am an idiot. I do need that from time to time. I agree with the things you learned. They all have to do with perspecitve, when we get older we have a wider perspective, it helps us to not “sweat the small stuff” and appreciate the world around us. Someone like me can learn a lot from more experienced parents and husbands, like you, so thanks and Happy Birthday!