Why You Want a Debt-Free Marriage
When I wrote an article recently telling the story of how we paid off $54,500 in debt, the response was very positive, and I heard from a lot of people who were in the process of shedding their debt (or at least wanted to get started). However, the reasons that I heard for becoming debt-free were mostly focused on the usual, more material motivations.
It seems that most people dream of paying off their debts to reclaim more freedom in their financial life. The idea of getting creditors off their back and having more of their income to save or buy things to improve their quality of life is very appealing. Honestly, that was a big part of why my wife and I decided we wanted to become debt free, and we achieved that goal (other than our home mortgage) two years ago.
I think the purely financial benefits are pretty clear and widely written about. Instead, I want to share with you some of the awesome marriage benefits that a debt-free lifestyle provides. While they weren’t our original motivation, our experiences in these areas have really grown our passion for getting (and staying) debt free.
5 Fantastic Benefits of a Debt-Free Marriage
1. Contentment
A funny thing happens when you get control of your money – you cling to it less. With financial freedom comes a renewed focus on the things that really matter in life. And when your values are in the right place, you depend much less on “stuff” and the false happiness that comes with it.
2. Communication
If you are married and you want to make substantial changes to your financial situation, you will need to talk…a lot. The process of getting out of debt will require a real intimacy with your spouse and a deepening of the trust between you. The spirit of teamwork you develop on your financial journey together carries over to other areas of your marriage as well.
3. Courage
If you have a lot of debt to pay off and/or you are already on a tight budget, achieving debt freedom will be a significant accomplishment. When you meet a major goal, it fuels your faith in yourself and your ability to work alongside your spouse. And it fills your relationship with the courage to face any challenge.
4. Change (for your whole family)
When you decide to shed your payments, you are breaking a cycle that most of us have witnessed throughout our lives, and you are setting a new example for your own kids. With a solid financial plan, you’ll actually have resources available to help with your children’s future, retire with dignity and have the freedom of time to spend more with your family.
Personally, the best benefit that we’ve experienced since paying off our consumer debt is an increased ability and desire to give. When we are generous with the gifts we’ve been given, we can change not only our own family tree but a little piece of the world as well.
5. Comfort
I will be the first to say that money doesn’t solve all of your problems, and no one should expect that debt freedom somehow brings instant happiness. However, we certainly do sleep a little better at night knowing that we owe no one (other than our mortgage company 
) and we have a healthy emergency fund in the bank. This feeling of security and comfort is what financial peace is all about.
Debt Freedom Sounds Great, But How?
There are many great resources available to learn the mechanics of getting out of debt. For us, it was Dave Ramsey’s Baby Steps alongside a solid budget that provided the game plan we needed. I would encourage anyone interested in paying off debt and building a solid financial plan to pick up Dave Ramsey’s very popular book The Total Money Makeover.
Establishing a game plan and garnering motivation from these resources is great. However, I have to say that we have discovered the real key to becoming and remaining debt free: mindset.
You have to believe that it is possible. And you have to want it. Bad.
Read the five benefits above again, and talk to your spouse about them. If you have debt, take some time to discuss what would be different in your life if you paid everything off. Only you can decide if financial freedom and going against cultural norms is worth it for your family.
How bad do YOU want it?
(photo source)
Dustin Riechmann created Engaged Marriage as a source of advice for a happy marriage for those willing to do something about it.
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[...] Why You Want a Debt-Free Marriage [Simple Marriage] – This is a nice article that tries to help you avoid the problems that come from money issues in your marriage. Amanda and I won’t be debt-free, but we’ll be working our tails off to get there as quickly as possible. [...]
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[...] to become debt-free in our marriage (other than our home mortgage) for the first time. There are many reasons why you might want to consider a similar goal, but today’s post is about something much more [...]
Excellent Post Dustin,
“You have to believe that it is possible”, I believe that’s so true for anything in life we want to achieve; we have to believe that it’s achievable.
Thanks for sharing your story.
It’s my pleasure, Shannon. Sometimes it can be tough to put benefits like this into words since so much of what we’ve enjoyed about our debt-free marriage has been intangible. I’m glad you could relate!
These are RIGHT ON, Dustin. We (just last week, yay!) paid off our debt – it has been amazing for our marriage and life in general. Check out my post today on freedom.
Cheers!
Congratulations, Melissa! I get excited every time I hear that someone has achieved debt freedom.
Awesome work, and I’m heading over now to check out your post!
I agree that the biggest benefit to living debt-free is the increased ability and desire to give to others. What a blessing it is to be in a position to help others!
Best,
Lori Lowe
I totally agree with you, Lori. We’ve been able to do some pretty remarkable things for others the past two years, and that’s what life is all about in my opinion.
Great post!
Im married and I must admit we are in “financial crisis” due to overwhelming debts we have. But i believe that we will be able to pay-off these debts by taking one-step at a time ( we follow Dave Ramsey’s snowball method).
This post just gave me more courage and a great belief that we will be able to have a debt-free marriage someday.. Thanks Dustin!
That’s awesome, Noel! I’m glad we could be a source of motivation for you. It truly takes Baby Steps, but you can accomplish your goals if you don’t give up.
That’s inspiring! We’re working to pay off the last of our debt and not acquire any new debt (saving for a car instead of financing). I like the idea of not having to pay money toward the debt and to be able to save and give more. Having a solid e-fund would give me a greater sense of security..
Excellent, lenciB! We just bought our first car for cash, and I’ll be writing a post about that on Engaged Marriage very soon.
All of your thoughts are right on! We just recently became debt-free earlier this year following Dave Ramsey and are huge proponents of his process. In fact, we just did our debt-free call 4 Fridays ago. The weight has been lifted and we are so emotionally close from the process. We just finished Baby Step 4 (Fully-funded emergency fund) and it has been a huge blessing because my husband was just in a car accident last week which totaled the car (he walked away from it, whew!) – and because of Dave and our commitment to be financially free, we have the money to buy a new, used car with CASH! Even though Murphy has come to live with us for awhile, we have the means and the determination to KICK HIM OUT. We are 24 and paid off $36,000 in 11 months. Now we are saving for a house which will be a blessing, not a curse!
Words cannot express the emotional and financial security from being debt-free in our marriage. Highly recommend!
Wow Katie, you guys are rocking it! I made the call to Dave Ramsey in February 2008, and it is truly a momentous date for our family. We listen to an mp3 of the call occasionally whenever we need a little financial lift.
Keep up the awesome progress!
Dustin,
Great tips and benefits for getting debt-free – you are totally on track. I also agree that Dave Ramsey offers good solid advice on changing your financial life. Many years ago, I was afraid to answer the phone or the doorbell due to collection agencies getting aggressive. Within a few years, I was debt-free (and coincidentally, husband-free) and the relief was just amazing. I felt like I had my life back, along with a fresh new outlook on life and your “financial peace.”
Keep up the great articles.
Thank you for your kind words, Beth. Financial Peace is a real thing that touches all aspects of your married (and single) life. I’m grateful to Corey to have this outlet to spread the word about the importance of adopting a wise financial plan.
Dustin this is a great post! The thing that we love the most is that we can give freely these days. We were never able to do that before because crisis living caused by living paycheck to paycheck with no emergency fund prevented us from doing so. Debt freedom is so much more awesome than people think it is. We will never ever put ourselves in the situation we used to be in again. As you know we will hopefully be COMPLETELY debt free even the house soon, and WE WILL NEVER, EVER, borrow another dime for any reason.
I have a 5 year plan my friend to save up to buy our next house and will prove to the non-believers that 100% down can be done.
Great job of making the case for debt freedom! It is GREENER on the other side!
Well said Dustin! Living debt free has been an amazing blessing to my young marriage and one that we’re both thankful for daily. The communication and trust built through budgeting and planning has brought us closer, prevented stress or resentfulness, and really accelerated our progress towards goals! I think a good financial education should be a part of premarital counseling (we were lucky to discover it ourselves).
Hi, Dustin: I really appreciate your insights – your blog entry led me to discover Dave Ramsey’s book from the library which I read cover to cover last weekend. My husband and I are working on a plan to get out of debt -never to return. We are very motivated. I would be interested to hear the specific jobs/efforts you made to make the extra money to decrease your debt. Also, did you have a paper/pencil approach to budgeting or did you use a specific computer program? Thanks for your great blog – it is appreciated.
That’s awesome, Kay! Congratulations on taking action and killing your debt…you definitely won’t regret it.
As for extra jobs, in my case I actually just worked a lot more at my current job. At the time (but not right now), we basically had the opportunity to work as much overtime as we wanted and I worked a lot. I also had a side gig where I bought golf clubs locally and resold them on Ebay for a profit.
As far as budgeting software goes, please check out this recent post over at my site at Engaged Marriage for lots of details!
http://www.engagedmarriage.com/finances-careers/you-need-a-budget-money-management-for-a-happy-marriage
I look forward to talking with you more about your journey!
We were never able to do that before because crisis living caused by living paycheck to paycheck with no emergency fund prevented us from doing so.I would be interested to hear the specific jobs/efforts you made to make the extra money to decrease your debt.
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thomasjimmy